Interpersonal communication

Emotion

Fleeting feelings that are short lived that arise in a particular situation

Moods

Feelings that lasting or ongoing

Hurt

Blend of fear and sadness, and sometimes anger. A feeling of emotion injury and pain

Appraisal Theories of Emotion

claim that different appraisals of the environment elicit different emotional responses

action tendencies

The behaviors that emotions compel us to perform.

Anger - Action tendency

attack to conquer a barrier to obtaining a goal

Sadness action tendency

retreat to provide time to adjust to loss

Happiness - action tendency

approach - take advantage of favorable circumstances

Fear - action tendency

protection to eliminate a threat by either conquering it or out-running it

Appraisals

Evaluations of how favorable a situation is to the goals that you have.

Components of emotions

SPAN

• Self-perceptions

• Physiology

• action tendencies

• nonverbal markers

Uncertainty

A lack of information about a conversational partner limits you ability to communicate

Uncertainty reduction theory

People move to reduce uncertainty by gathering information that will help you communicate with the conversation partner.

Relationship uncertainty/ relationship turbulence theory

The lack of knowledge people have about their relationships. Three types self, partner and relationship. Occurs in new relationships and relationships in transition.

Self uncertainty

type of relational uncertainty - your questions about your own involvement in the relationship

partner uncertainty

part of relational uncertainty. The doubts you have about your partners commitment to the relationship.

relationship uncertainty

part of relational uncertainty. doubts about the very nature of the relationship

How emotions and communication relate

• Cause - emotions cause communication

• Interpretation - emotion shapes interpretation of messages

• Affect - communication affects emotions

• describes - communication describe emotions

Self-perception

People's own awareness of how they feel, reflects how people label and interpret their feelings.

Physiology of Emotion

the physical changes the occur in conjunction with feelings

nonverbal markers of emotion

Changes in appearance that occur when a person experiences emotion ie blushing, smiling. Can be exaggerated to communicate to others.

Jealousy

Emotion the arises from perceptions that a valued relationship is threatened by a partner's competing interests.

People response to jealousy

Communication goals are changed by what emotion they are feeling the most. Love - increase relationship satisfaction. Anger and fear - decrease relationship satisfaction.

Social Emotions

Feelings that occur in interpersonal communication or relationships. 4 types.

4 types of social emotions

MASH

• melancholic - occur when interpersonal experience unfulfilling or have negativity changed

• affectionate - create attachment and closeness with other people

• self conscious - from how self is perceived by others

• hostile - from feeling of injury or threat to relationship

Emotional intelligence

Understanding and managing emotions in oneself and others. Able to recognize emotional nuances, to put emotional information to use, to understand how emotions work, and to either promote or suppress emotional experiences in oneself and in others

Verbal person centeredness

Determine if emotional support is effective or not. Person centerness and perspective taking

Person centeredness

A quality of message the validate, recognize or acknowledge the recipient feeling and experience

Perspective taking

The ability to understand a situation from someone else's point of view

Types of verbal social support

TINEE:

• Tangible support

• Informational support

• Network support

• Esteem support

• Emotional support

Tangible support

Doing for things for people tangiblely, giving money, making a meal, taking care of pet etc

Informational support

Giving information or advice

Network support

Connecting someone with a person could help you, Willing to connect others to the people they know

Esteem support

Trying bolster the person self esteem, who they are, make them feel more confident

Emotional support

Communicative practice commonly recognized as intended to alleviate another's acute emotional distress

Hearing

one of your five senses

Listening

goes beyond hearing, it involve receiving messages, creating meaning based on them and responding to the message source with verbal and nonverbal messaging

The listening process

• Attending

• Interpreting

• remembering

• evaluating

• responding

Attending

the process of noticing specific cues provided by a communication partner- First stage of listening process

Interpreting

attach meaning to the cues you have noticed in the interaction - second stage of listening process

Remembering

involves recalling and retaining the information that has been shared with you - third stage of listening process

Evaluating

process of critically analyzing information to determine how truthful, authentic or believable you judge it to be. - fourth stage of listening process

Responding

forming a reply to the message - could be nonverbal - 5th stage of listening process

Appreciative listening

listening purely for enjoyment

Comprehensive listening

trying to gain and evaluate, and understand something

Active-empathic listening –

when we listening in order to reflect back what another person might thinking of feeling, listening for support,

Listening Styles

The way a person tends to listen in any situation.

• Action centered listening

• Content-centered listening

• Time centered listening

• people centered listening

Action centered listening style

Listening style sees listen means to end, prefer messages t obe organized concise and error free so they can move on.

Content-centered listening style

tend to focus on facts and details of the message, want clear message to comprehend and evaluate listeners.

Time centered listening style

impatient listener , unconcerned about details rather want speaker to get to the point quickly

People centered listening style

concern people feelings and emotions, responsive to emotional experiences of other

Defensive listening

Type of nonlistening - Perceiving personal attacks in messages that are not criticism

Pseudolistening

Pretending to listen when you’re not

Monopolizing

Focusing communication on yourself instead of listening

Selective listening

Focusing only on specific parts of the message that are relevant to you

Barriers to effective listening

• noise

• features of the message

• lack of effort

Noise

in the environment make it difficult to focus on content of message.

features of the message

Things being too complex, overloaded with to much info, can be barriers to effective listening

lack of effort

people no paying attention, dont empathize, ask question and dont adapt there listening style leads to barriers of effective listening

intimacy

a connection between two people that includes psychological, emotional, and behavioral bonds. Primary quality that define close relationships

Components of Intimacy

• Closeness

• Openness

• Trust

• Affection

• Mutuality

Closeness

degree to which ones identity overlaps with another person identity. Emerges when people spend time together and influences each others beliefs

Openness

Our willingness to reveal private information about ourselves to a relationship partner through self-disclosure

Trust

The feeling that a relationship partner will keep us safe and protect us from harm.

Affection

The positive feelings that we have for another person that we communicate through our actions with that person

Mutuality

When both partners in a relationship acknowledge and value the bond that exists between them

Relational bids

request for emotion connection – example asking about something you don’t care about. Three possible results turn towards, turn away, and turn against

Love styles

• Eros

• Ludus

• Storge

Eros

Lover characterized by beauty and sexuality

Ludus

love characterized as a game that is entertaining and exciting.

Storge

Love characterized as peaceful and grounded in friendship

Relational dialectics

opposition between alternative ways of being intimate. Can be internal - within relationship or external - outside relationship

• Autonomy vs connection

• Novelty vs predictability

• Openness vs closeness

Autonomy vs connection

wanting independence & wanting to maintain closeness.

Novelty vs predictability

wanting excitement & wanting stability in the relationship.

Openness vs closeness

wanting to share everything with a partner & wanting to keep some things to yourself

attachment styles

A general orientation toward close relationships that reflects how people see themselves in relation to others.

4 attachment styles

• secure

• Preoccupied

• Dismissing

• fearful

Secure

A bond characterized by comfort with closeness and an ability to trust or be trusted by others. Positive view of self and others

Preoccupied

people with this style desire closeness with others, but they worry that their partners don’t really want the relationship. negative view of self, positive view of others

Dismissing

tend to distrust others, deny the need for closeness in their lives, and are comfortable with independence. Positive view of self negative view of others

Fearful

Desires love but expects rejection, doesnt like when people get close. negative sense of self and other

Relational maintenance behaviors

refers to the actions people take to keep their relationship in a desired state.

• Assurance

• Openness

• Positivity

• Sharing tasks

• Social networks

assurance

Relationship maintenance - expressing commitment & appreciation

Openness

Relationship maintenance - talking honestly about feelings & needs

Positivity

Relationship maintenance - bringing warmth & humor

Sharing tasks

Relationship maintenance - balancing responsibilities

Social networks

Relationship maintenance - surrounding yourselves with supportive others

Loneliness

Gap between the level of connection you want and what you have

Beliefs that contribute to loneliness

• that friendship should happen easy and naturally

• focus on romantic love

• technology

• change in society

• residential mobility

Friendship in Childhood

Based on desire to be liked, fit in and accepted. Based on people we are proximate to

Friendship in adolescence

Formed with people who validate a personal sense of self and similar interested. Based on self disclosure, problem solving and feeling understood

Friendship in early and middle adulthood

based on similarity and sense of connection

friendship in older adult hood

More discriminate in who counts as a friend, less concern about geographic separation. Friendship survive based on uncommon devotion to the friendship over the years.

Family

• Network of people

• shared common history

• envision a similar future

• create sense of home

• shared a collective identity

• self-identified

Function of family

• protection

• Socialization

• Transmission

Protection

function of family - fulfill most basic needs for shelter, clothing, food, warmth and support

Socialization

function of family - showing children morals, ethics and politeness

Transmission

function of the family - the teaching of cultural practices from one generation to the next, certain cultural rituals, holidays, religions etc

Family System

A bounded set of objects that interrelate with one another to form a whole. Family related to inside and outside the family.