Lec 3: Maladaptive Dynamics

Help-Seeking / Help Rejecting

• Asks for assistance, then rejects it, explaining why it won’t work

• Seen in relationships with power differential

• Negative outcomes: frustration, decreased participation of the help-seeker

Competitive

• To gain interpersonal needs or resources

• Seen in siblings, friends, peers

• Negative outcomes: decreased self-esteem for the one at loss

Enabling Negative Behavior

• Facilitate or support negative or potentially harmful behavior of another

  • Inability to show disapproval or limit behavior

• Negative outcome: continuing or worsening behavior

Dominance/Submission

• Nondemocratic, consistent oppression of one by another

• Seen in relationships with abusive power differential, caregiving roles

• Negative outcome: passivity, vulnerability, learned helplessness, or feelings of low self-worth

Enmeshment

• Expectation of conformity of worldviews, behaviors, and decision-making among a group

• Fierce loyalty, with downplayed individuality

• Negative outcomes: difficulty establishing rapport, angst and resentment, dependence

Disengagement

• Little contact and sharing of information

• Negative outcomes: lack of closeness & loyalty, isolation & disappointment

Approach/Avoidance

• One desires intense contact, then the other withdraws

  • It can also occur within the same person

• Negative outcomes: lack of trust, unpredictability, feeling smothered or abandoned

Idealizing/Devaluing

• Positive and negative characteristics are exaggerated and denied alternately

• Negative outcomes: discomfort, infuriation

Reluctance/Reassurance

• One is constantly anxious, skeptical, and self-doubting

• Other reliably provides comfort and encouragement

• Negative outcomes: Low intrinsic motivation, psychological dependence

Demonstrative/Voyouristic

• One dramatizes reactions or hardships to receive validation

• Other only watches or listens for entertainment

• Negative outcomes: Lack of progress, eventual realization that voyeur is enjoying

Helpless / Rescuing

• One recruits even when not necessary

• Others rush to assist without recognizing that the behavior is maladaptive

• Negative outcomes: Increased dependence for helpless, eventual anxiety & resentment for rescuer

Chaotic / Organizing

• One is undisciplined, emotional, and lacking self-control

• Others continually compensate

• Negative outcomes: power struggle, intensification of chaotic behavior

Manipulating / Conceding

• One gives what the other likes only in small doses, but expects reciprocation by gratifying needs

• Others concede out of guilt, obligation

• Negative outcomes: failure to accept limits and ask help directly for manipulator, failure to set limits, anger & resentment for manipulated

Scapegoating

• Two or more individuals collude to influence, criticize, or subjugate another

• Families against one, therapists allying with a client over another

• Negative outcomes: Feeling of being ‘ganged up on