Chapters 5 and 6 Stress

why people react to the same situations differently?

Some people get nervous before a test, a big game, or speaking in front of a group of people, while others enjoy the challenge. Could it be genetics, perception, personality, or attitude that makes the difference? Yes, yes, yes, and yes—and probably other reasons, too. Your experience with life’s events depends on your strategies for coping with stress, your earlier experience with stress, your genetic makeup, and your level of social support.

When you finish reading these chapters, you will know the answers to the following questions:

1. 
   

How do my thoughts relate to the way I experience stress?

What tools and techniques help manage my thoughts and perceptions to prevent stress and enhance the quality of my life?

Perception

A a person’s cognitive (mental) interpretation of events, is perhaps the most critical aspect in preventing unnecessary and unhealthy stress. Experts who study stress agree that in nearly all cases, events are not what cause us to feel stress; instead, the way we perceive or interpret those events is what causes us to feel stress.

Are You in Danger?

If we consider every waking moment of our lives, we immediately realize that we are very rarely in any kind of danger that puts our survival at risk, or in which we will suffer physical pain from an outside source.

Stress Comes from Within

In his book Creating Health, Deepak Chopra explains that we assume that stress is something outside of us; that stress is speed, noise, and chaos. This view is in error, he says. Stress comes from within. Chopra quotes Dr. Daniel Friedman, an authority on stress:As portrayed by the student who was asked to sing in front of the class, the chronic stress that we feel is very rarely the result of a genuinely threatening situation. The point of that example was to demonstrate that our stress almost always stems from situations that are not, by their nature, dangerous. The outcome that we think will do us harm usually doesn’t. As a result, we create in our bodies a false sense of emergency.

Chopra quotes Dr. Daniel Friedman, an authority on stress:

Stress is a coupled action of the body and mind involving appraisal of a threat, an instant modulation of response. The triggering mechanism is the individual’s perception of threat, not an event. Perception is modified by temperament and experience. Dr. Friedman goes on to say that we all respond to external threats in our own way, depending on our previous level of arousal and ability to adapt. Appropriate stress helps us grow. Inappropriate stress, by contrast, serves no useful purpose and may lead to health problems and disease.

Flight or Fight Resposne

Whenever we sense a potential for pain or danger of any kind—emotional, social, spiritual, or physical—our body reacts in its perfect way to help us survive. The only way the body knows to do this is by turning on the fight-or-flight response. We don’t have any other natural way to deal with a perceived threat. Yes, we can learn other ways, but our body inherently knows only one way that is immediate, fast-acting, and guaranteed to produce powerful results.

“stressful” test, quiz, or exam.

Think of a “stressful” test, quiz, or exam. The reality of an exam is that it has no power to turn on the fight-or-flight response. It is merely a piece of paper with words printed on it. The stress is based entirely on what that test means to us and how we interpret it. If a stranger—someone who wasn’t in the class—were to be given the same test, she would probably interpret it as some interesting questions with no other meaning to her personal well-being. Students who feel stressed about a test are the ones who interpret it as threatening to their future because a low score might result in “bad” outcomes down the road.

Natalie Goldberg

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency.

We are not trained to think this way. From our earliest days, we are taught accepted statements such as the following:

This test is stressing me out.

You make me mad.

This class makes me bored.

He hurt my feelings.

She is so irritating.

Life is stressful.

Toltec Teachings Book

Everything in life is but a challenge. Challenges can never be good or bad; we make of our challenges what we will.

Cognition

Mental process that encompasses thinking and reasoning skills.The ability to think and learn makes us uniquely human. It enables us to be rational, to make sound judgments, to interpret the world around us, and to learn new skills. Without cognitive functions, we could not understand our daily lives, adapt and make changes, and develop the insight to make those changes. Cognitive functioning allows us to react independently to the same situation.

Cognitive appraisal

our interpretation of a stressor—is the deciding factor in our reaction.

Cognitive restructuring (Reframing)

This approach substitutes our perceptions of situations from thoughts that are threatening to thoughts that are non threatening.

Cognitive Distortion

Magnifying thoughts out of proportion to their seriousness, resulting in excess stress.

POPP is an acronym for Point of Positive Perception. Let this idea POPP into your mind every time you find yourself in a potentially stressful situation:

There is an actual point in time when your thoughts activate the stress response.

You can choose a positive thought to respond to the events in your environment.

This positive perception will stop the stress response from activating.

You have prevented unhealthy and unproductive stress.

There is power in the simplicity of this formula. We are not talking about managing stress or coping with stress. We are talking about preventing stress. Try POPP thinking for a day. Your day will go better.

— Margie Hesson

Thinking and Choosing

The way you think—your ideas, values, and perceptions—all affect your stress level. Your thoughts shape the events and circumstances of your life. Thoughts relieve stress and, likewise, can result in extraordinary life changes.

Techniques

In this chapter, you will learn a variety of cognitive techniques, from simple to challenging, that you can use to change how you view the events and situations in your life. You will learn simple methods such as thought-stopping and power language. You will also learn about conditioned-response, levels of responding, rational emotive behavior therapy, and the ABCDE technique. These cognitive approaches can help you reduce stress mentally by showing how your thoughts contribute to every stressful situation you experience, and offering specific ways you can change the ways you think about things.

Cognitive distortion

It occurs when thoughts are magnified out of proportion to their seriousness, resulting in excess stress. You might have the habit of magnifying negative thoughts. If you do, you are not alone. Many people who react strongly to mental stress find they have developed self-destructive thought patterns. Inspirational speaker Zig Ziglar calls this “Stinkin’ Thinkin”—which is quite descriptive. Negative thinking can turn everyday events into outbreaks of anxiety. See if any of these relate to you.

All-or-nothing thinking.

You either did the work perfectly, or you totally messed up. Everything is seen as an extreme (good or bad); there is no middle ground. Example: “I can’t believe I blew that test. I’m a terrible student.”

Personalizing

This is the tendency to assume responsibility for things that are out of your control. Personalizing can lead to feelings of needless guilt. You always ask yourself, “What did I do wrong?” The answer might be nothing. Example: “Brad walked right by my desk this morning without saying hello. I must have made him mad.”

Discounting the positive

Are you the type of person who cannot accept a compliment? Many people feel they are undeserving of praise. Example: You played a great ballgame or performed well in an artistic endeavor. Afterward, someone compliments you on your performance. Rather than saying, “Thank you,” you respond, “I was just lucky” or “It was nothing.”

Assuming the worst.

Some people think they know what others are thinking or how things will turn out—and it’s never good. This is also called pessimism or awfulizing. The awfulizer predicts disaster and lives as if it is inevitable. Awfulizers spend much of their life feeling upset. Example: “I think that guy is staring at me. He must think I look weird.” This thought is quickly

All-or-nothing thinking.

You either did the work perfectly, or you totally messed up. Everything is seen as an extreme (good or bad); there is no middle ground. Example: “I can’t believe I blew that test. I’m a terrible student.”

Personalizing

This is the tendency to assume responsibility for things that are out of your control. Personalizing can lead to feelings of needless guilt. You always ask yourself, “What did I do wrong?” The answer might be nothing. Example: “Brad walked right by my desk this morning without saying hello. I must have made him mad.”

Discounting the positive.

Are you the type of person who cannot accept a compliment? Many people feel they are undeserving of praise. Example: You played a great ballgame or performed well in an artistic endeavor. Afterward, someone compliments you on your performance. Rather than saying, “Thank you,” you respond, “I was just lucky” or “It was nothing.”

Assuming the worst

Some people think they know what others are thinking or how things will turn out—and it’s never good. This is also called pessimism or awfulizing. The awfulizer predicts disaster and lives as if it is inevitable. Awfulizers spend much of their life feeling upset. Example: “I think that guy is staring at me. He must think I look weird.” This thought is quickly followed by, “I’m the ugliest person I know.”

Cognitive therapy

Helping a person think in new ways by focusing on cognitive distortions and then relearning thought processes as a way to alter negative emotions. Distorted thinking often leads to feelings that are associated with stress.

Thinking Errors

Psychologist Albert Ellis identified 12 irrational ideas, like distorted thinking, that he calls thinking errors. These ideas, frequently found in our culture, are inaccurate and irrational, and they contribute to some of the stress-related problems you learned about in Chapter 4. The beliefs and conditioned responses often take the form of absolute statements. Instead of responding with a preference or a desire, we make unqualified demands on others or convince ourselves that we have overwhelming needs.

Ellis also presents disputing ideas that successfully counter the irrational ones. These innovative ideas allow us to move forward with confidence and without unreasonable stress and anxiety.

Irrational Thinking

Reflect carefully on Ellis’ 12 irrational beliefs, and decide which three relate the most to your way of thinking. Think of personal examples that show this thinking. Consider the related rational disputing idea and how you could replace your irrational thoughts with this new way of thinking.

Making a conscious effort to change or reframe the way you think, and to stay focused on the positive thought, is an essential element in stress management. Eliminating “Stinkin’ Thinkin” involves first awareness, and then correction, of these mistaken thoughts. Implementing these cognitive techniques can help get you started.

cognitive behavior therapy (CBT)

It can be useful in phobias and obsessive-compulsive disorder. This study shows that intensive CBT may also be helpful for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). A feasibility study tested the acceptability and efficacy of an intensive version of cognitive therapy for PTSD (CT-PTSD). RESULTS: Intensive CT-PTSD was well tolerated, and 85.7% of patients no longer had PTSD at the end of treatment. Patients treated with intensive CT-PTSD achieved overall outcomes similar to a comparable group of patients treated with weekly CT-PTSD in an earlier study. However, the intensive treatment improved PTSD symptoms over a shorter period and led to more significant reductions in depression.It