PSYC 2245 Chapter 9 Attraction and Relationships

Predictors of Attraction

• Reciprocal liking

• Similarity

• Propinquity

• Physical Attractiveness

Reciprocal Liking

When you like someone and that person also likes you

• Saying “I like you” can increase someone’s interest in you

How do Similarities Predict Liking

• We think similar others will like us

• Validation (Self-affirmation theory, affirming your characteristics and worldview are valid and acceptable)

• Understanding - easier to interact with someone who is similar

Propinquity Effect

Physical proximity, the more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends.

Why does the propinquity effect exist?

Mere exposure effect - the more exposure we have to a stimulus the more apt we are to like it. Being around certain people often increases attractiveness. 

Similarity

Attraction to people who are like us - Most often what attracts us to other people

Complementarity

Attraction to people who are opposite to us - Not much evidence to show support 

Is Physical Attractiveness Universal?

• Women and men are both influenced by physical attractiveness

• Average, symmetrical faces are seen as universally attractive (predictors of good health)

• Waist to hip ratio for women are often universal - considered an indicator of good reproductive health

• Body mass differences in cultures

• Small differences on facial feature attractiveness depending on the culture

What is Considered Attractive?

Men: Large eyes, prominent cheekbones, large chin, large smile 

Women: Large eyes, small nose, small chin, prominent cheekbones, narrow cheeks, high eyebrows, large pupils, and large smile

Assumptions about Attractive People 

Often leads to preferential treatment of attractive individuals, assuming that if they are physically attractive they also possess many desirable traits. 

What is Misattribution of Arousal

The process whereby people make mistaken inferences about what is causing them to feel the way they do. (Ex. Crossing a high bridge causing high arousal, may misattribute this arousal to the wrong source like an attraction to the person they are with)

Social Compensation Hypothesis and the Digital World

Online friendships are more likely to be formed by lonely, introverted people who lack the social skills to form relationships in person.

Social Enhancement Hypothesis and the Digital World

People who are extraverted and have good social skills may use the internet as another way of acquiring even more friends (More evidence for this)

Evolutionary Theories for Attraction

Sex differences in attraction emerge because of different adaptive challenges that men and women have/have to face

• Men - reproduction is not costly, looking for someone who is healthy looking (attractiveness = healthy)

• Women - reproduction is costly, selective in choosing someone who can help and has resources 

Issue with Evolutionary Theory

• Heterosexual relationships

• Women and men have similar preferences - not necessarily following evolutionary theory

Telling More than We Know About Mate Selection

People may not actually realize or know what they are attracted to

• Speed dating - preferences did not correlate with actual choices

• No sex difference in physical attractiveness (predictor for both)

• No sex differences for earning prospects (desirable for both)

What is Compassionate Love?

The feelings of intimacy and affection we feel toward someone with whom our lives are deeply intertwined. Can be nonsexual relationships.

What is Passionate Love

The feelings of intense longing, accompanied by physiological arousal, we feel for another person; when our love is reciprocated, we feel great fulfillment and ecstasy; but when it is not, we feel sadness and despair

Attachment theory

Our behaviour in adult relationships is based on our experiences as infants with our parents or caregivers

Secure Attachment Style

Characterized by trust, a lack of concern with being abandoned and the view that one is worthy and loved - Most common but not the majority style

Avoidant Attachment Style

Characterized by a suppression of attachment needs because previous attempts were rejected; people with this find it difficult to develop intimate relationships

Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment

Characterized by a concern that others will not reciprocate one’s desire for intimacy, resulting in higher-than-average levels of anxiety

Are attachment styles stable personality traits?

Like schemes, usually have a default style and they can be difficult to change but it is possible (Primed attachment styles, what is most salient to you). You can have different attachment styles for different relationships.

Social Exchange Theory

Theory that how people feel about a relationship depends on their perceptions of the rewards and costs of the relationship, the kind of relationship, the kind of relationship they deserve and the probability that they could have a better relationship with someone else.

Reward/Cost Ratio

The notion that there is a balance between the rewards that come from a relationship and the personal cost of maintaining the relationship; if the ration is not favourable, the result is dissatisfaction with the relationship.

Comparison Level

People’s expectations about the levels of rewards and costs they deserve in a relationship

• If you think you deserve more - less commitment 

• If you think you deserve less - more commitment 

Comparison Level for Alternative (Quality of Alternatives)

People’s expectations about the level of rewards and costs they would receive in an alternative relationship

• Higher quality of options = lower commitment (people lined up for you)

• Lower quality of options = higher commitment (considering the alternative of being alone)

Investment Model

Theory that people’s commitment to a relationship depends on their satisfaction with the relationship in terms of rewards, costs and comparison level; their comparison level for alternatives; and how much they have invested in the relationship that would be lost by leaving

• Satisfied in the relationship if the rewards outweigh the costs

• Satisfied in the relationship if the has high rewards and high commitment 

Equity Theory

Theory that people are happiest with relationships in which the rewards and costs that a person experiences and the contributions they make to the relationship are roughly equal to the rewards, costs and contributions of the other person 

• Being over or under benefitted will cause uneasiness 

Disadvantages of having too many rewards

• Feeling like you don’t invest enough

• Always having things paid or done for you making you feel uneasy

Exchange relationships

Relationships governed by the need for equity (for comparable ratio of rewards and costs)

• Examples: Employees and coworkers, group work, service industry jobs, some friendships (usually at the beginning of relationships)

Communal Relationships

Relationships in which people’s primary concern is being responsive to the other person’s needs (Caregiving relationships, not concerned about rewards and costs)

• Examples: Parents and children (meet child’s needs), married for a long time then one gets sick, doctors & therapists and their patients

Positive Illusions*

Idealization of our romantic relationships and partners in order to maintain the relationship