Family Development and Family Therapies Exam 1

Why are married men generally healthier than single men?

- fewer bachelor habits (drinking, staying up late etc)

- eat better

- go to doctor sooner

- wives help advise career and take care of household, relieving stress

Married men at age 48 have a ___ chance of living to 65

88%

Divorced men at age 48 have a ___ chance of living to 65

65%

Married women at age 48 have a ___ chance of living to age 65

92%

Divorced women at age 48 have a ___ chance of living to age 65

82%

Married men make ___ more money than single men with the same education

30%

Divorced women have a ___ higher chance of having a heart attack

60%

___ of married people report being "very happy"

40% (2x higher than divorced people)

___ of single people report being "very happy"

15%

___ of divorced people report being "very happy"

18%

___ of never married/cohabitants report being "very happy"

22%

What do married couples do more often and have more satisfaction with?

sex

____ of unhappily married couples who persevere report having happier marriages 5 years later

86%

__ /__ unhappily married couples who persevere report being "very happy" 5 years later

3/5

How does divorce generally affect health?

- leads to irreversible, negative effects on health, even if individual remarries

Children of divorce have higher levels of:

- anger

- fear

- rejection

- depression

- low self-esteem

- drug/alcohol abuse

- juvenile delinquency

boys with divorced parents showed:

- more conduct disorders, aggression, and non-compliance

- fewer male sex-types behaviors and attitudes

- higher suicide rates for teens

Parental divorce and living in single parents homes is the best predictor is ___ ___

teen suicide

- teen male suicide rates increased 557% from 1946-1988

Girls with divorced parents show:

- 2x more likely to drop out

- 2x more likely to be expelled

- lower grades and test scores

- more remedial classes

- more early sexual behavior

- much more likely to cohabitate and never marry

- over-affiliate (overly attention seeking) or under-affiliate (withdraw) with males

- trouble adjusting to stepfather and increased conflicts with mother

In Brad Wilcox's book "Get Married," he says "Marriage predicts happiness better than..."

education, work, and money

- to be "very happy" is to be in a good marriage

___ of married men have sex 2x a week

43%

___ of single men have sex 2x a week

26%

In Glenn's study of the outcomes of KoDs, what did his results of education show?

married outcomes > divorced outcomes

In Stewart's study of college completion, what were the results?

- 50% of the students who completed college had married parents

- 27% of the students who completed college had divorced parents

The 4 key benefits of marriage are:

1) health

2) wealth

3) happiness

4) sex

KoD outcome for marriage scale:

good marriage>>> bad marriage>> bad divorce> good divorce

Who participated in Glenn's study at the University of Texas at Austin?

1500 adults age 18-35 --> half from divorced parents, half from married parents

Based on Glenn's study at the University of Texas at Austin, KoDs showed they had learned to:

- worry about child abuse, sexual abuse, parental kidnapping

- worry about their "stuff" because it is often lost in constant traveling

- wonder about religion and God, owing to the mixed messages they receive from their parents

- become "chameleons" because they must figure out how to function in their parents' often starkly different worlds

Explain the Marquadt study of 2005

- looks at people who "do divorce right"

- "best case scenario" (both parents still involved with the child)

- generally, 2/5 kids lose touch with one parent completely after divorce

- study of 1500 people 18-35- half from divorced parents, half from married parents

- finds there is no such thing as a good divorce

- same study as Glenn

What were the results of the Marquadt study of 2005

- KoD feel like divided selves

- more likely to feel alone as a kid and as outsiders in the family

- difficult task of reconciling 2 worlds, moving between homes

- feel much less protected by parents

- feel much less likely to go to parents for comfort when young, or emotional support when older

- describes themselves as "chameleons" and "actors" dealing with parents

What were some of the reasons we discussed in class as to why people cohabitate?

- trial run or test drive

- cheaper

- convenience

- have a child

- skeptical of marriage

- stepping stone in the relationship

- scare of marriage/commitment

cohabitation leads to:

- more alcohol problems

- lower happiness

- 3x higher chance of depression

Marriages preceded by cohabitation are...

more likely to end in divorce

Men in cohabitating households show:

lower earnings than married men with families

What were the results of the 2006 Cornell cohabitation study?

- 1/2 cohabitating unions end in 1 year

- 90% end within 5 years

__/__ kids born to cohabitating parents see their parents break by age 16, and only __/__ kids with married parents will

- 3/4

- 1/3

Explain the 2009 Scott Stanley study and its results

- 5 year study

- found ~60-70% of couples live together before marriage (the CDC in 2018 said 67%)

- engaged couples who choose to live together had similar marriage satisfaction to people who do not cohabitate

- key is level of commitment- sliding vs deciding

- women who cohabitate look like married women with commitment and dedication, but men who cohabitate and then get married don't make the switch to up their commitment

- cohabitating makes risky relationships less likely to break up

Explain Coan's first study in 2006

- brought couples into a lab

- put one person into an FMRI machine

- inside the machine was a screen showing shapes (Xs and Os)

- the Xs meant there was a 20% chance of getting shocked

- had participant hold hands with someone outside

- woman who came alone and didn't hold hands- high anxiety

- woman holds hands with a stranger- high anxiety

- woman holds hands with spouse- lowered anxiety

Explain Coan's second experiment in 2014

- same experiment procedure

- used straight and gay couples

straight couples:

- held hands with spouse- lowered anxiety

- held hands with cohabitating partner- no reaction (high anxiety)

- held hands with stranger- no reaction (high anxiety)

gay couples:

- held hands with spouse- lowered anxiety

- held hands with cohabitating partner- no reaction (high anxiety)

- held hands with stranger- no reaction (high anxiety)

What did Coan's third experiment in 2017 show?

- holding hands with any partner (married, cohabitating, dating) was stronger than holding hands with a stranger or not holding hands at all

What did Stanley find in his 2009 study?

- couples who cohabitate have higher rates of divorce (1.3-1.9x higher)

- women tended to commit and sacrifice early

- men do not sacrifice while cohabitating until later when he decides she is "the one"

Explain the 2015 Wukom study

- relationships lab

- Dr. Wu and Dr. Kendra Oakes Mueller

- study of PLNU alumni

- found divorce rate to be low (only ~16%)

- also found that couples who cohabitate before marriages had 5x higher divorce rate

What book did Wilcox write?

Get Married

What did Wilcox say is the main difference between cohabitation and marriage?

commitment

What did Wilcox say are the 3 kinds of commitment?

1. lifetime

2. public

3. sexual

What did DeSouza say about marriage?

- people think the key element of marriage is compatibility

- however, it is actually commitment

What was the main takeway from Dr. Wu's basketball analogy for marriage?

- "You get what you practice"

Where did Balswick and Balswick say the model for families is seen?

God's relation with Israel

What did Balswick and Balswick find were the 4 aspects to marriage?

1. covenant

2. grace

3. empowerment

4. intimacy

love has to be ____

chosen

no intimacy without ____

vulnerability

Based on Balswick and Balswick, covenant means

to love and be loved

Without covenant, you devolve into ___

contract

In other words, covenant is ___ ___

unconditional commitment

Based on Balswick and Balswick, what is the theological context of covenant?

- like the covenant with Noah and Abraham

- based entirely on God's action

- does not depend on their obedience

- covenant is unconditional but the blessings are conditional

- God initiates this covenant and then desires but does not demand a response

Based on Balswick and Balswick, grace means

to forgive and be forgiven

Without grace, you devolve into

law

In other words, grace is ____ ____

unmerited favor

Grace is the basis for...

human forgiveness and God's forgiveness of us

Based on Balswick and Balswick, empowerment means

to serve and be served

Without empowerment, you devolve into

possessiveness

In other words, empowerment is...

using our power to build power in others

Based on Balswick and Balswick, intimacy means

to know and be known

Without intimacy, you devolve into

distance

In other words, intimacy is...

communication without the risk of rejection

- can be vulnerable

Crabb (author of Marriage Builder) has 3 myths surrounding marriage. What is the 1st one and why is it wrong?

Myth: The Bible reduces complicated issues to easy formulas

- however, people and life are complex

Crabb (author of Marriage Builder) has 3 myths surrounding marriage. What is the 2nd one and why is it wrong?

Myth: The Bible emphasizes being happy and fulfilled

- however, this idea causes excuses for bad behavior and poor decisions

Crabb (author of Marriage Builder) has 3 myths surrounding marriage. What is the 3rd one and why is it wrong?

Myth: Psychological needs are primary

- however, this is not sacrificial

What does Crabb say the core need in a marriage is?

Intimacy (with security and significance)

Based on Crabb's ideas, security means:

I am truly loved and accepted

Based on Crabb's ideas, significance means:

I make a real impact on you

Based on Crabb's ideas, where do we need to have our deepest needs met?

in God

- this frees us to serve our spouse

What verse did Eggerichs (author of Love and Respect) think was fundamental to marriage?

Ephesians 5.33 ("However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.")

men- love their wives

women- respect their husbands

What was Tim Keller's (Redeemer Church in NYC, wrote The Meaning of Marriage) view of marriage?

- purpose of marriage is Gospel reenactment

- men and women are both to be like Jesus

- men and women are equal in worth but different in role

- men= head of the church like Jesus

- women= submit to husband as Jesus was submissive to God the Father

Explain the complementary view of marriage

- men and women= equal worth

- different roles- based on gender

- Baptists, Catholics, Presbyterians, Reformed

Explain the egalitarian view of marriage

- men and women= equal worth

- different roles- based on ability/gifting

- Nazarenes, Assembly of God, Methodists, Wesleyans

What verse is the main verse of psychology?

Genesis 3:10- "I was afraid because I was naked so I hid"

What were the marriage verses we learned in class?

- Genesis 2:24 (from Matthew 19:6)

- Genesis 3:10

- Malachi 2:16 (divorce) (NIV '84 and Revised)

Genesis 2:24

"For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh."

Genesis 3:10- core emotion: ___

fear

Genesis 3:10- core motivation: ___

shame

Genesis 3:10- core strategy: ___

hide

Malachi 2:16 NIV '84

"' I hate divorce,' says the Lord God of Israel, 'and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,' says the Lord God almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith."

Malachi 2:26 NIV Revised

"'The man who hates and divorces his wife,' says the Lord, the God of Israel, 'does violence to the one he should protect,' says the Lord almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful."

What were Dr. Wu's 4 thoughts on the revised version of Malachi 2:16?

1. Revised now addresses both genders

2. Revised shows faithfulness has a choice

3. Revised shows unfaithfulness does violence to the spouse

4. Revised shows faithfulness needs vigilance

What did the Incidence of Harm chart show?

- married parents= most safe

- married parents showed less physical (1.9%), sexual (0.5%), and emotional (0.8%) abuse

- cohabitating parents + most dangerous

- cohabitating with parent= 10x more physical abuse (19.5%), 20x more sexual abuse (9.9%), and 10x more emotional abuse (8.2%)

In The Good News About Marriage, what was said about actual divorce rate? (#1)

- actual is much lower than 50%--> more likely 20-25%

- census bureau says 72% of people are married to their first spouse

- among 28% not still married, many are widows

In The Good News About Marriage, what was said about happiness in marriage? (#2)

- most marriages are happy

- multiple surveys showed 80% of respondents report happy marriages

In The Good News About Marriage, what was said about church and divorce rate? (#3)

- divorce rate drops for those who attend church regularly

- those who act on faith by attending worship services or praying with spouse show drop in divorce by 27%

In The Good News About Marriage, what was said about second marriages? (#4)

- second marriages are most successful than commonly thought

- census bureau shows 65% of women in 2nd marriages are still married

In The Good News About Marriage, what was said about marriage problems? (#5)

- most marriage problems are not caused by major issues, but accumulation of misunderstanding, unintended hurt, and unawareness

Divorce rate in first marriages

~50%

What were the 6 main causes of divorce rates dropping?

1) annual income is >50k vs <25k

2) baby 7 month after marriage vs before

3) marry >age 25 vs

When annual income is >50k vs <25k, divorce risk drops ____

30%

When a couple has a baby 7 months after marriage vs before, divorce risk drops ____

24%

When couples get married > age 25 vs < age 18, divorce risk drops ___

24%

When parents are not divorced, (child) divorce risk drops ___

14%

When couples have a religious affiliation, divorce risk drops ___

14%

When people have some college vs being a high school dropout, divorce risk drops ___

13%

Being active in faith = ___ ___ for marriage

better outcomes