chp 2 - emotional intelligence

why emotional intelligence matters

process your feelings in a thoughtful strategic way & understand others

emotional intelligence

understanding & managing your emotions & showing empathy towards others

step 1: know the universal communication language

respect, value & autonomy

politeness theory

communication theory that states ppl want to be treated well or politely, meaning they want to be treated respectfully (ppl want to be seen in a positive light by others)  

step 2: know your mindset

emotional intelligence = choice

growth mindset

open to new ideas & opportunities

fixed mindset

wants to continue to do the same thing simply because that is the way it has been done

arrogance

i know better than you, so do what i say; result of an inward focus & a need to control a situation or ppl cuz of insecurity or pwr

confident

i know what i’m talking about, you can trust; colllab, cooperate, teamwork

economics scarcity principle

there r finite resources available & if someone receives some, less resources for you

abundant mindset

infinite resources available

step 3: know your values

respect, responsibility, ambition, fairness, transparency, appreciation

step 4: know when your emotions are triggered

you feel it; FTA check, mindset check, values check

FTA check

if you r upset you may realize that a face threatening act occurred

mindset check

uncomfortable/upset → something is not computing w/ current mindset

values check

bothers by a work task or ask from supervisor

fight mode

when someone is stressed, react in anger

freeze mode

overwhelmed, fear of making wrong choice

flight mode

avoid/ghost conversation