Uncle Vanya Act 4 Scene 1

(Vanya and Astrov come in from outside.)

Vanya: Leave me alone. Go away, will you? Just leave me alone for a while! You're all watching me, and I can't stand it!

Marina: Here go the geese again!

Vanya: Leave me alone!

Astrov: I'd be happy to, nothing would give me greater pleasure, but I won't go, I repeat, I will not go until you give back what you took.

Vanya: I didn't take anything.

Astrov: I'm serious, Vanya. Give it back. I have to go.

Vanya: I told you, I didn't take anything!

Astrov: Really? Look, I'm giving you just a minute longer, then I use force. We'll tie you up and search you. I mean that in all seriousness.

Vanya: Do whatever you want. (Pause.) God, how stupid can you get! I shot twice and missed him both times! I'll never forgive myself.

Astrov: You felt like shooting somebody, you should have put a bullet in your own head.

Vanya: (with a shrug) Funny, isn't it? I try to kill someone, nobody calls the police, nobody tries to arrest me. Which means you all think I'm crazy. (a mean laugh) I'm crazy? What about someone who pretends to be a professor, so we won't find out he's a stupid, sadistic no-talent? What about someone who marries an old man and then proceeds to cheat on him in front of everybody? I saw you! I saw you--I saw you kissing her!

Astrov: You're right, I was, I was kissing her! So what? Go to hell, with you! (Gives him the finger)

Vanya: (looks toward the door) What's really crazy is a world like this one, that lets you all exist!

Astrov: Look, you're being really stupid.

Vanya: What do you expect? I'm crazy, right? I'm out of my mind, I have the right to say stupid things.

Astrov: Oh, come off it, Vanya, will you? You're not crazy; you're just the conic relief around here. You're a freak, you know that? (Beat) I used to think freaks were sick, but I've changed my mind. Now I think being a freak is the normal human condition. I think you're completely normal.

Vanya: (Covers his face with his hands) I'm so ashamed! It's like a knife, the shame I feel, worse than any pain! (Anguished) I can't stand it! (Lays his head on the table) What am I going to do? What am I going to do?

Astrov: You're going to do nothing.

Vanya: You've got to give me something to . . . Oh, my God . . . I'm forty-seven; suppose I live to be sixty--that means thirteen more years! It's too much! What am I supposed to do for the next thirteen years? Oh, can't you understand? (Makes a compulsive grab for Astrov's hand) Can't you understand how I feel? All I want is a different life! I want to wake up some morning, some bright, quiet morning,, and find that the past has vanished like smoke. (Cries) All I want is a new life. Tell me how to find one . . . where should I look . . . ?

Astrov: (Irritated) Will you listen to yourself? There is no new life! None for you, none for me. For us, it's hopeless.

Vanya: It is?

Astrov: It is. I know it is.

Vanya: You've got to give me something. (Feels his chest) Something in here is burning me up!

Astrov: (Shouting angrily) Stop it! Just stop it! (Calms down) Maybe a couple of hundred years from now people will realize how stupid we were, what a mess we made of our lives . . . . Maybe by then they'll even know how to be happy. But you and me . . . the only thing we have to look forward to is a little peace and quiet when we're finally in our graves. (Sighs) Oh, Vanya, Vanya . . . In this whole neighborhood there are only two sensitive, intelligent people, and that's you and me. But this sordid, narrow-minded life has sucked us dry, the filth has gotten to us, and now we're just as rotten as the rest of them. (With sudden energy) Anyway, stop trying to change the subject. Give back what you took.

Vanya: I told you, I didn't take anything.

Astrov: You took a bottle of morphine from my bag. (Pause.) Listen, if you're so determined to kill yourself, just go off in the woods and shoot yourself. But give me back the morphine! Otherwise people will think I gave it to you, there'll be an inquest . . . and if there is, I'm the one who has to do the autopsy! You think I'm going to enjoy that?

(Enter Sonya.) Vanya: Go away. Just leave me alone.

Sonya: Give it back. Why do you want to scare us like that? (Gently) Uncle Vanya, give it back. I'm just as unhappy as you are, but I won't give in to despair. I have to accept things the way they are. I have to go on living until I die. You've got to do the same. (Pause.) Give it back! (kisses his hand) Dear Uncle Vanya, give it back! (weeps) You don't want to hurt us, I know you don't, I know you'll give it back. We have to go on living, Uncle Vanya!

Vanya: (Takes the bottle out of his desk drawer and gives it to Astrov) Here, take it. (To Sonya) But we have to get back to work, right away, we have to keep busy, otherwise I . . . otherwise I can't . . .