Jake audition monologue w cue line

I have the feeling I’m trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle that has no picture on it

I’m a blank, waiting to fill in who I am

How did I get to be this way?

That’s not a rhetorical question. I mean, if you know, please tell me

Okay, Jake. Go back to the beginning. That’s what Edith always says.

Here’s another Mother story

I’m six years old, sitting in the kitchen with my mother, watching her shell peas

And on the floor I see a roach

My Mother, faster than a speeding train, takes a newspaper and splats it against the baseboard

“Where do roaches come from?” I ask my mother

“From the dirt,” she answers

“You mean,” I say, “the roaches like to live in the dirt and eat it?”

“No,” says Mom. “The dirt turns into roaches.”

And I go back into my room, lay on the bed, and say to myself, “The dirt turns into roaches”

And the realization hits me

My mother is dumb

And I know instinctively that six years old is too soon to find out that your mother is dumb

Because I’m banking my whole childhood on this woman taking care of me

And so I decided on that day, I would never depend on anyone except myself

I loved my mother, but I never asked her any more questions. The trouble is, here I am today at the age of fifty-three without any answers!