cogsworth lines // beauty and the beast

Page 16 Maurice- Hello? Hello?

Page 16 Maurice- Hello? Hello?

Well now youve done it! I told you not to let him in!

Maurice- Is anyone home?

If we keep quiet, maybe he'll go away.

Maurice- Is someone here?

Not a word, Lumiere, Not one word!

Lumiere- Allo!
Maurice- AH!

And good-bye! (Cogsworth starts pushing him toward the door.)

Maurice- Wait...wait...wait! You're a clock! And you're talking!

Astonishing, isn't it? And quite inexplicable. Good-bye. (He continues pushing him toward the door.)

Lumiere- Cogsworth! I'm surprised at you. Where are your manners...?

We've got to get him out of here before the Master finds out!

Maurice- This is incredible! How is this accomplished?

Really sir...if you'd just...
(Maurice pokes him in the eye.)
Ow!
Stop that! Hee-hee...stop it...stop it, I say!
(Maurice opens Cogsworth's pedulum door.)
Really, sir...do you mind?
(He slams the doors shut. Maurice stops his investigation and scratches his head.)

Maurice- We'll, I'm stumped. Maybe it's some kind of new-fangled, scientific gadget.

I...sir...am not a gadget!

Maurice- I beg your pardon. I don't mean to be rude. It's just that I've never seen a ta...a tal...a talking... AAAACHOOO!

(arch)
Bless you.

Lumiere- You're chilled to the bone, Monsieur. Come. Warm yourself by the fire.

No, I forbid it!
(Ignoring him, Lumiere takes Maurice's arm and leads him across the stage to a large overstuffed chair. Cogsworth rushes after them.)
Lumiere...as head of this household, I demand that you stop right there!
(Maurice sinks into the overstuffed chair.)
Ohhhhh, not the Master's chair! I'm not seeing this. I'm not seeing this!

Maurice- Oh! Well! Hello!

All right! This has gone far enough! I'm in charge here and...!

Mrs. Potts- How would you like a nice spot of tea, sir? It will warm you up in no time.
Maurice- Oh, Yes please!

No! No tea! He'll be here all night...no tea!

Lumiere- Veronique!

Lumiere! Listen to me! We've got to get him out of here! Do you have any idea what the Master will do if he finds out we let a stranger in...

Lumiere- No...no...remain calm. There is absolutely no reason to panic.

Lumiere's right. There's absolutely no reason to panic.
(to Maurice)
May I borrow this?
(He's takes Maurice's blanket and throws it over his own head.)

Beast- Who let him in? (Everyone quakes in fear. Cogsworth peeks out from under his blanket.)

M...Master...May I take this opportunity to say, I was against it from the start!

Belle- Then I'll find him myself! SCENE FIVE: INTERIOR OF CASTLE (Cogsworth and Lumiere enter in mid-argument)

Couldn't keep quiet, could we? Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we? Serve him tea, sit in the Master's chair.

Lumiere- I was trying to be hospitable!

Rubbish!

Lumiere- Ah, Cogsworth, can you blame me for trying to maintain what's left of our humanity? Look at us. Look at you!

What about me?

Lumiere- You always were insufferable. But every day, you become just a little more inflexible... a little more tightly wound... a little more ticked off!

Please, spare me the stupid puns.

Lumiere- At least, we are not as far gone as some of the others. You saw what happened to Michelle.

She always was too vain about her looks. And that's exactly what she's become.

Lumiere- A vanity.

Little drawers, mirror... the works.

Lumiere- And poor Jean-Claude.

Who?

Lumiere- Jean-Claude. You remember him, not too bright, dumb as...

(guessing) ...a brick?

Lumiere- The whole wall.

Jean-Claude's a brick wall?

Lumiere- (He nods) That's him in the kitchen, behind the stove.

Tsk...tsk.

Lumiere- And you know Guillaume...the houseboy?

That mealy-mouthed Little bootlicker? I've never liked him. He's always groveling at the Master's feet.

Lumiere- He's a doormat.

Perfect.

Lumiere- It's happening faster with some of the others, but we are not far behind. Slowly but surely, as every day passes, we will all gradually become... things.

But why did we have to get dragged into this whole spell business? It's not like we threw that poor old beggar woman out on her ear.

Lumiere- No, but are we not responsible too? For helping to make him the way he is?

I suppose so.

Lumiere- All I know is... I will eventually melt away to nothing. I only hope there's something left of me if the Master ever breaks the spell. (Cogsworth pats him on the back in a brief moment of friendship.)

Hold on, old man. We've got to hold on. (Belle comes wandering through.)

Lumiere- It's a girl!

Yes, of course, I can see it's a girl!

Cogsworth- Yes, of course, I can see it's a girl!

Lumiere/Cogsworth- It's a girl! (They bolt to follow her. Lumiere wins. Cogsworth is right behind him)

Lumiere- (calling) Mademoiselle!

Now Lumiere, let me do all the talking.

(Ignoring him) Yoohooo...

As had of the household, I should do most of the talking!

Lumiere- (Calling) Cherie!

A word! Just a word! (as he goes off) That's all I'm asking for! (They exit as Mrs. Potts enters with Chip)

Lumiere- This is the one! The girl we have been waiting for. She has come to break the spell!

Wait a minute...wait a minute...let's not be hasty!

Lumiere- Isn't it wonderful? After all these years! Oh happy, happy day! (He grabs Cogsworth and kisses him in both cheeks. Cogsworth pushes him away with disgust.)

Stop it! Stop that!

Lumiere- We should tell the others, no? (Lumiere hurries off)

Yes, I mean no! I mean...wait a minute! Wait a minute! (He hurries off after Lumiere. Belle comes back through.)

SCENE SEVEN: FIREPLACE

(As Cogsworth enters, we see that he now has a gigantic winding handle attached to his back which he is entirely unaware of. Mrs. Potts and Lumiere enter hurriedly.)

Mrs. Potts- We'll, what is it?

Is dinner ready, Mrs. Potts?

Mrs. Potts- Just about. I haven't the foggiest idea what she likes to eat, so I've cooked up everything in the kitchen.

Good...good.

Cogsworth- Good...good. (He turns around...and both Mrs. Potts and Lumiere notice the handle. They gasp.)

Yes, we'll? Don't just stand there gaping, back to work!

Lumiere- You tell him. | Mrs. Potts- I can't.

Tell me what?

Lumiere- Now don't get upset, but you've got...something on your back.

What on earth are you talking about? (Lumiere takes him and puts him in front of the mirror. Cogsworth gasps with horror.) AH! (looking closer) What is that?

Lumiere- It appears to be a winding handle, of sorts.

Well, get if off me!

Lumiere- (trying to pull it off) It won't come off.

What do you mean it won't come off? It wasn't there last night when I went to bed. Where did it come from? Why is this happening to me?

Mrs. Potts- It's the spell, I'm afraid. |Lumiere- Just try to relax...

Relax! Relax! How can I relax with this appendage on my back? Is there no dignity left for me? And what's going to go next...my mind?

Lumiere- Calm down. It will be all right.

I'm frightened, Lumiere.

Beast- It's time for dinner. Where is she?

Perhaps I should see about her. Won't be a minute.

Page 48 (Cogsworth re-enters.) Beast- Well?

What?

Beast- Where is she?

(feigning ignorance) Who? Oh, yes, the girl...well, actually she's in the process of...circumstances being what they are...

(The Beast growls impatiently.)

(a timid squeak) She's not coming. (a squeak) She's not coming.

Beast- What did you say?

(even squeakier) She's not coming.

Beast- We'll see about that! (The Beasr storms to Belle's room. Lumiere, Mrs. Potts, and Cogsworth hurry along behind.)

Your Lordship! Your grace! Your Eminence! Let's not be hasty!

Page 50 Lumiere- Master that may not be the best way to win the girl's affections.

Please...attempt to be a gentleman.

Page 50 Beast- I'll give her one last chance. Would you be so kind as to join me for dinner?

(under his breath) Aahaahaaaa...P...P...

Page 51 Lumiere- What were we thinking? We will never be human again.

So, it appears. (There's a long moment as they sink into despair)

Mrs. Potts- We'll, what would you two have us do? Give up? I can't give up until I hear the sound of my boy's laughter as he runs through these halls again!

Quite right Mrs. Potts! We mustn't give up while there's still a chance. Lumiere, stand watch at the door and if there's the slightest change, inform me at once.

Page 54 Wardrobe- Oh dear...oh dear.

(The lights come up on another area. Mrs. Potts and a Cogsworth enter)

Mrs. Potts- I like this girl. I like her spunk.

Well, if you ask me, she was just being stubborn. After all he did say 'please.'

Mrs. Potts- I think that may be the first time I've ever heard him use that word.

I believe you're right.

Mrs. Potts- You see! She's already starting to have a good influence on him. (Belle approaches.) Oh there you are dearie. Glad to see you out and about.

I am Cogsworth, head of the household. (Lumiere comes running in.)

Lumiere- Cogsworth! The girl! She's gone! I swear my eyes never left the...Enchantee, mademoiselle. (He kisses her hand.)

This is Lumiere...Stop it! Stop that! (to Belle) If there is anything we can do to make your stay more comfortable. Anything...anything at all!

Belle- I am a little hungry.

Except that.

Mrs. Potts- Cogsworth!

Well, you heard what the Master said!

Mrs. Potts- Oh posh tosh! I'm not about to let the poor child go hungry!

Fine. Glass of water, crust of bread and then...

Lumiere- Cogsworth! I am surprised at you. She's not a prisoner, she's our guest! We make her feel welcome here!

All right, dinner. But keep it down! If the Master finds out it'll be our necks!

Lumiere- Of course...of course! But what is dinner without a little music?

MUSIC?

Page 58 Babette- No!

Lumiere! This time you've gone too far. This is shameless! Shameless!

Page 59 Belle- Oh, Lumiere, Thank you for dinner, it was delicious.

Good show, everyone! Good show! Well done! Well done! Oh my goodness, look at the time. Off to bed!

Belle- Oh, I couldn't possibly go to bed now, it's my first time in an enchanted castle.

Enchanted! Who said anything about the castle being enchanted? (To Lumiere) It was you, wasn't it?

Belle- I figured it out for myself. I'd like to look around, if that's all right. | Lumiere- Perhaps you would like a tour?

Wait a minute...wait a minute. I'm not sure that's such a good idea. (Aside to Lumiere) We can't have you know who, go poking around you know where...if you know what I mean.

Belle- (to Cogsworth) Perhaps you'd like to take me. I'm sure you know everything there is to know about the castle.

Well...actually, I do! May I draw your attention to our handpainted ceiling complete with cherubs frolicking in delight amidst the nymphs and centaurs... (Lights go down on Cogsworth and company as the Beast enters carrying a tray of food for Belle.)

Beast- Act like a gentleman...act like a gentleman...This'll be good. Oh, Belle? (The Beast knocks again.) Belle? (Lights come up again on Cogsworth's tour...The Beast ducks back into the shadows.)

Now if you will note the unusual inverted archways, you will see that this is yet another example of the late new-classic baroque period. And...as I always say...if it's not baroque, don't fix it! (He laughs heartily. Lumiere and Belle are silent.) May I draw your attention to the flying buttresses above the aviary...? (Cogsworth exits)

Belle- Oh, Lumiere, it's all so beautiful! I had no idea. If only he weren't here! (Lumiere and Belle exit) | Beast- Act like a gentleman...I am nothing but a fool. (He goes into the West Wing. Cogsworth re-enters...Belle and Lumiere trail behind.)

...and thanks to some quick thinking on my part the disaster was averted. And that was the last time a stone of that weight was quarried in this area.

Belle- What's up there? Lumiere and Cogsworth- NOTHING!

Nothing at all of any interest in the West Wing!

Belle- Ah. So that's the West Wing. | Lumiere- Nice Going. | Belle- I wonder what he's hiding up there.

(Laughs heartily.) Hiding! What an idea! Hiding!

Belle- Then it wouldn't be forbidden, would it?

Perhaps Mademoiselle would like to see something else. We have exquisite tapestries dating all the way back to Aloysious the Pretentious...

Page 62 Belle- You have a library? | Lumiere- With books! (Cogsworth and Lumiere back away from the stairs...drawing Belle with them. She follows, tantalized.)

Oh yes! Scads of books! Mountains of books! Forests of books! Cascades! Cloudbursts! Swamps of books!

Lumiere- Books with pictures! Books with words!

More words than you could ever be able to read in a lifetime!

ACT TWO SCENE TWO: FIREPLACE/CASTLE INTERIOR PAGE 66- Lumiere- So, the ice is broken...at last.

And not a moment to soon either. Have you taken a good look at the rose lately? It's losing petals at an alarming rate!

Mrs. Potts- I have just the thing! How about we warm you two up a bit with a nice bowl of soup? (Lumiere and Cogsworth look at each other.)

LUMIERE/COGSWORTH- Soup?

Page 67 Beast- When she smiles at me...I get all choked up. My heart starts pounding and I can't breathe!

Good!

Beast- I've never felt this way about anyone. (impulsively) I want to give her something...but what?

Well, there's the usual things: flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep.

Page 80 SCENE FOUR: THE BEAST'S LAIR/WEST WING Lumiere- Tonight is the night...the night to confess your love. | Beast- I'm not sure I can do that.

You must!

Lumiere- Then why not tell her? Beast- I can't!

You must! (Lumiere waves at him to be quiet.)

Beast- How will I know when the moment is right?

You'll feel slightly nauseous.

Beast- I must speak from the...I can't!

Cogsworth & Lumiere- You Must!

Page 81 Beast- I'm afraid she might...

She might what?

Lumiere- Somehow my prince, you must find the courage to take that chance.

Master...look at the rose! There's so little time left!

Belle- Dance with me. Beast- No...I...

Lumiere/Cogsworth- DANCE WITH HER!

Page 83 Beast- I must speak from...

Lumiere and Cogsworth- ...the heart!

Page 84 Beast- Go. Go. Go. (She turns and runs out. He watches her go.) I'll never see her again. (Lumiere, Cogsworth, and Mrs. Potts enter.)

Well, sire, I must say. Everything is going just swimmingly. I knew you had it in you!

Beast- I let her go.

You what?

Lumiere- How could you do that? Beast- I had to.

But why?

Mrs. Potts- It's not enough. She has to love him in return.

And now it's too late. (They exit)

Page 93 Babette- Oooooooh. (Lumiere Lights the Villager's pants on fire. The Villager runs off. Lumiere goes to the beast.) (Cogsworth appears chasing Villager).

Tally Ho!!! Tally ho!!!

Page 97 Lumiere- Mrs. Potts!

What's happening here?

Lumiere- (kisses Cogsworth) Cogsworth!

Stop it! Stop that!

Lumiere- The spell is broken!

What?