Comm 110 final

What is the "Need to belong" Theory? know the explanations

Theory that proposes that each of us is born with a drive to seek

What rewards do relationships provide? Know each

1\. Emotional Rewards-support or encouragment
2.Material Rewards- money

What are the potential costs of relationships?

1\.Time
2. Emotional investment
3.Material costs (money)
4. Physical Investment (ex. Helping friend move)

What are the four characteristics of close relationships?

1\. Requires Commitment
2. Foster Interdependance (ex. what happens to someone affects everyone else in relationship)
3. Continuous Investment
4.Management/spark of dialectical tensions

What are the types of commitment in close relationships?

1\. Emotional Commitment- Responsibility for each others feelings
2.Social Commitment- spending time together
3. Legal and Financial Commitment- formal obligations such as food

How are people interdependant in close relationships?

What happens to one person affects the other. (ex. how parents use their time and money affects their children)

What types of investments do we put into relationships?

Time

What are dialectical tensions in close relationships?

means conflicts between two important but opposing needs or desires

What are the types of dialectical tensions?

Autonomy vs. Connection- The feeling of wanting to be ones own person + the desire to be close to others. (Connection)
Openness Vs. Closedness- The desire for disclosure and honesty + The desire to keep certain facts

Autonamy vs Connection

The feeling of wanting to be ones own person vs the desire to be close to others

Openness vs Closedness

The desire for disclosure and honesty vs The desire to keep certain facts

Predictability vs. Novelty

desire for consistency and stability vs. desire for fresh new experiences

What are ways we manage dialectical tensions?

1\. Denial
2.Disorientation
3.Alternation
4.Segmentation
5.Balance
6.Integration
7.Recalibration
8.Reaffirmation

What is the Denial strategy of managing dialectical tensions?

Responding to only one side of the tension and ignoring the other

What is the Disorientation strategy of managing dialectical tensions?

Escaping the tension by ending the relationship

What is the Alternation strategy of managing dialectical tensions?

Going back and fourth between the two sides of a tension (ex. doing your way of things one day and then the other persons way the next)

What is the Segmentation strategy of managing dialectical tensions?

dealing with one side of the tensions in some aspects and dealing with the other sides in other aspects. (Addressing both sides in different areas)

What is the Balance strategy of managing dialectical tensions?

To compromise or find middle ground (satisfying each desire to some degree with compromise)

What is the Integration strategy of managing dialectical tensions?

Try to develop behaviors that will satisfy both sides simultaneously. (Satisfy both desires without compromising them)

What is the Recalibration strategy of managing dialectical tensions?

To "reframe" a tension so the contradiction diseappears (see both needs as complementary to each other instead of contradictory)

What is the Reaffirmation strategy of managing dialectical tensions?

Embracing dialectical tensions as a normal part of life. (accepting the tension instead of eliminating)

What is the Attraction Theory?

explains why individuals are drawn to others

What are the types of attractions?

1\. Interpersonal Attraction- Any force that draws people together
2. Physical Attraction- being drawn to someone because of their looks
3. Social Attraction- being attracted to someones personality
4. Task Attraction- being attracted to someones abilities and dependability

What are the variables that affect attraction?

1\. Personal Appearance- we value and appreciate physical attractiveness
2. Proximity- more likely to maintain these relationships
3. Similarity- social validation in people who are similar to us
4. Complementarity- provide a quality we lack

What does the Uncertainty Reduction Theory say about why we interact with people?

We form relationships because of the we feel when we don't know others very well. Uncertainty is unpleasant so we are motivated to reduce uncertainty by using our communication to get to know somone.

What does Predicted Outcome Value Theory predict?

When we first communicate with others

What does Social Exchange Theory say about relationship development?

people seek to maintain relationships in which their benefits outweigh their costs.

What are comparison levels?

Your realistic expectation of what you want and think you deserve from a relationship. Your expectations are based on both your experiences with relationships and the prevailing cultural norms for such relationships.

What are comparison level of alternatives?

your assessment of how good or bad your current relationship is compared with your perceived options. We maintain relationships when we believe that doing so is better than an alternative

How do comparison levels predict relationship outcomes?

your comparison level for a particular relationship will strongly influence how satisfied you are in that relationship.

How do comparison levels of alternatives predict relationship outcomes?

It will more strongly influence whether that relationship will last. Even satisfying relationships can end if the alternatives are more appealing.

How does equity theory explain being over-benefited and under-benefited?

"A recipe for trouble" Equity theory borrows the concepts of cost and reward from social exchange theory and extends them by defining a good relationship as one in which your ratio of costs and rewards is equal to your partner's

According to Stafford and Canary

what are the five common relational maintenance behaviors?

What does SOAPS stand for in comms?

Social Networks
Openness
Assurance
Positivity
Sharing Tasks

Explain the First S in the SOAPS relational maintenance behaviors.

Social Networks- Share ones social networks with another person (convergence is an important way to keep relationships stable and strong)

Explain the O in the SOAPS relational maintenance behaviors.

Openness- a person's willingness to talk with his or her friend or relational partner about their relationship. Although it's possible to have too much openness in a relationship

Explain the A in the SOAPS relational maintenance behaviors.

Assurances- verbal and nonverbal behaviors that people use to illustrate their faithfulness and commitment to others. A statement such as "Of course I'll help you

you're my best friend" sends the message that the communicator is committed to the relationship

and it reassures the other person that the relationship has a future

Explain the P in the SOAPS relational maintenance behaviors.

Positivity- Behaviors that entail positivity make others feel comfortable around us. Those types of behaviors tend to make people well liked

Explain the second S in the SOAPS relational maintenance behaviors.

Sharing Tasks- performing one's fair share of the work in a relationship

How does the Social Exchange Theory explain relationship maintenance?

People seek to maintain relationships in which their benefits outweigh the cost.

How does the Equity Theory explain relationship maintenance?

We strive for a balance between our own cost/benefit ratio. We prefer relationships where we receive benefits equal to -not greater than- those of our partners.

According to Mark Knapp

What are the five common stages in relationship development?

What happens in the Initiating stage in relationship development?

Meeting and interacting with each other for the first time

What happens in the experimenting stage in relationship development?

Conversations to learn more about that person. ex. "What kind of music do you like?"

What happens in the intensifying stage in relationship development?

People move from being acquaintances to being friends. Spend more time together and might meet each others friends

What happens in the integrating stage in relationship development?

A deep connection has formed and share a strong sense that the relationship has its own identity. Lives become integrated with each other. Begin to think of themselves as a pair "We".

What happens in the Bonding stage in relationship development?

Final stage in which partners make a public announcement of their commitment to each other. Might involve moving in together

What are Mark Knapps five stages of dissolution?

1\. Differentiating
2. Circumscribing
3. Stagnating
4. Avoiding
5. Terminating

What happens in the Differentiating stage of dissolution?

Beginning to see differences as undesirable or annoying

What happens in the circumscribing stage of dissolution?

Begin to decrease the quality and quantity of their communication with each other. Avoid dealing with conflict. Spending more time apart. When together they usually dont talk about problems

What happens in the Stagnating stage of dissolution?

Barely speaking to each other. Relationship stops growing. Many relationships stay this way for a while

What happens in the Avoiding stage of dissolution?

Decide they are no longer willing to live in a stagnant relationship. Create physical and emotional distance between each other. Some people take a direct route to creating distance "I can't be around you right now". Others indirectly "I have company in town all next week

What happens in the Terminating stage of dissolution?

Last stage in which the relationship is officially judged to be over. In romantic relationships it usually involved one or both partners moving out if they shared a residence. Dividing property

What are relational transgressions?

Any behavior that violates an important expectation in the relationship. ex. lying

What are ways people try to repair relationships?

\-Apologies
-Explanations
-Denials
-Appeasements
-Avoidance

ch 10 What are the characteristics of friend relationships?

\-Voluntary
-Usually Platonic
-Usually develop between peers
-Governed by rules
-Differ by sex
-Have a lifespan

What are similarities between same-sex friends and other-sex friends?

Men and women value different aspects of their respective friendships. Women and men report equal levels of closeness in their same-sex friendships

What are differences between same-sex and different sex friends?

Friendships among women tend to place greater emphasis on conversational and emotional expressiveness while mens friendships focus on shared activity and interests. Other sex friends provide and oppurtunity for men to be emotionall expressive and for women to enjoy shared activities. Other sex friends feel some degree of physical or romantic attraction to each other.

According to Rawlins

what are the life span stages of friendship? What happens in each stage?

What happens in the Role-Limited interaction stage of a friendship life spans?

Meet and interact for the first time. Communication follows social and cultural norms for interaction between strangers. They are civil and polite but share little personal information.

What happens in the Friendly Relations stage of a friendship life span?

After chatting for a while their conversation becomes friendlier. They may share personal stories or anecdotes. Can be an invitation for friendship.

What happens in the Moves Toward Friendship stage of a friendship lifespan?

Invitation signals progression. Communication becomes more social and less bound by rules by norms and rules.

What happens in the Nascent Friendship stage of a friendship lifespan?

Continue getting together and enjoying their interactions. They begin to think of themselves as friends. Communication continues to become more personal and less prescribed.

What happens in the Stabilized Friendship stage of a friendship lifespan?

Over time relationship progresses and they consider their friendship to be fully established. Trust each other strongly and may adjust their attitudes and opinions to be more in line with each others.

What happens in the Waning Friendship stage of a friendship lifespan?

Stage marks decline of their friendship. Friendship may become more distant and casual

How and why can friendships change or decline?

\-Friends can grow to dislike each other (EX. Constantly nags or criticizes the other

What are common expectations in relationships?

\-Exclusivity
-Voluntariness
-Love
-Sexuality
-Permanence

What are the various aspects of relationship exclusivity?

Monogomy

What are some cultural variations related to the expectations of love in romantic relationships?

In countries such as china and india the choice of a spouse has more to do with the wishes of family and social groups. Americans emphasize the importance of love in the marital relationship

What are similarities between same- and other- sex relationships?

Communicate similarily. Value intimacy and equality between partners. Both experience conflict. Both benefit from recieving emotional support from family and friends. Divorce at the same rate for similar reasons.

What are the differences between same- and other- sex relationships

Same sex relationships differ with respect to their legal recognition around the world.

What are some of the societal benefits provided to married couples?

Spousal Privilege- Communication between spouses in protected

Visitation- gives spouses rights of visitation if one spouse is hospitalized or imprisoned

Stepchildren- Have legal status with stepchildren if they are married

Cohabilitation on Controlled Properties- Marriage allows spouses to live together on military bases and other controlled properties

Inheritance and Property Rights- A spouse is entitles to recieve a persons estate when he or she passes away

Medical and Burial Decision- Have ability to make medical decisions for each other and to make burial or cremation decisions when one of them died

Domestic Violence Protection- If one spouse is abusive or violent

Based on Fitzpatrick's research

what are the three types of marriages - based on marital schemata?

What four groups can marital couples be classified into depending on how they handle conflict?

Romantic relationships vary in how they handle conflict

How do Validating Couples handle conflict?

Talk about disagreements openly and cooperatively. Communicate respect for each others opinions even if they disagree. Stay calm

How do Volatile Couples handle conflict?

Talk about disagreements openly

How do Conflict Avoiding Couples handle conflict?

Deal with disagreements indirectly. Try to defuse negative emotion and focus on their similarities. Feel there is little to be gained by engaging in conflict directly

How do Hostile Couples handle conflict?

Experience frequent and intense conflict. Use negative emotion displays ex. harsh tone of voice

How is emotion communicated in romantic relationships?

Romantic relationships vary in how they handle emotional communication.

What are the communication patterns for happy couples?

Communicate more positive emotion and less negative emotions with each other. Express more affection

What are the communication patterns for unhappy couples?

Express more anger

What are the problems with defining "family"?

Its difficult to define who will be included

What are three common characteristics of families?

1\. Genetic Ties
2.Legal Obligation
3. Role Behaviors

What are the types of families?

\-Family of Origin - Family one grows up in
-Family of Procreation - The family one starts as an adult

What are family roles?

The functions individuals serve in the family system

How are family roles different from family positions?

They are based on the structure of our relationships with others

What four family roles are explained by Satir?

1\. The blamer- Holds others responsible but accepts no responsibility (might make conflict worst)

2.Placater- peacemaker who will go to any lengths to reduce conflict (Can be useful to resolve or keep conflict from escalating)

3.Computer-Uses logic and reason rather than emotion to diffuse the situation (Can be useful to resolve or keep from escalating conflict)

4.Distracter- Makes random and irrelevant comments so that the rest of the family will forget about the conflict (might make conflict worse)

These become especially important when in conflict

What are family rituals?

Family traditions or behaviors that have special meaning

Why are family rituals important?

Serve a variety of functions in family interactions

What are common characteristics of family stories?

\-Told and retold

What are benefits of work friends?

\-Rich source of information
-Often reliable source of emotional support
-Can make workday pleasant

What is the developmental path of work friends?

1\. Aqcuaintance to friend
2.Friend to close friend
3. Close friend to "almost best" friend

What are the rewards of romantic relationships at work?

\-Positive feelings associated with attraction can energize employees
-When working in different departments

What are the downsides of romantic relationships at work?

\-When they end the breakup can cause turbulence within the organization
- Conflict of interests can arise

What are some of the challenges of superior/subordinate friendships?

\-Power differences
-Keeping professional and personal sides of relationship seperate
-Business decisions are harder because sometimes whats best for the business isnt the best for employees

What are the tips for online communication in the workplace?

\-Learn and follow organizations policies
-Use for convenience

ch 11 What is the definition of conflict? What are the key elements?

"An expressed struggle between at least two independant parties who percieve incompatible goals

How does the way you view/percieve conflict relate to your experiencing it?

The way we interpret or frame a conflict can greatly affect the way we experience and the communication choices we make to manage it.

What is meant by reframing as it relates to conflict?

Changing the way you think about an interpersonal situation.