All-Nighter: Showcase Scene Memorization

Sorry I’m late, it took longer than I thought to wrap things up. It’s been… a day.

I was gonna say, who schedules a club meeting at 10pm? But look! You brought my favorite.

Nectar of the insomniac gods.

My hero. Okay. Business time, Chip. We’ve got to get these papers done. Correction, you’ve got to get your paper done. I’m already finished.

What? I thought you were gonna pull an all-nighter with me, Jess!

Dont worry, I am. But we’re almost sophomores! It’s Spring Semester, I can’t let my FYS assignments keep me up all night. Don’t quote me on this but… I might even have my major figured out!

Seriously? You’ve already declared something? I feel so behind!

Don’t! I change my major practically every week in my head. Remember last semester? I was a geoscience major for like a month. And like yeah, rocks rock, but that doesn’t mean I love them enough to major in them. Mm, I have half a mind to become a chemistry major just so I can learn the science behind how they make this stuff.

Based on the clickbait articles I’ve read, I think that’s one curtain you don’t want to peer behind.

Sure sure. Okay, paper. What prompt did you choose?

I was thinking… the first one?

First one, okay… what’s your thesis?

Thesis? Isn’t this a compare and contrast essay?

You still have to have a thesis, Chip! Did you even read the prompt?

…I was going to get around to that.

Oh my GOD. Chip.

I’ve been so busy! Like, yes, I remember when we got the assignment but the specifics are hazy.

You did the reading though, right?

Yeah, of course.

When?

During our last all-nighter. When you were asleep? (JESSICA stares suspiciously at CHIP until he folds.) Okay, I haven’t touched the reading.

I can’t- Okay. I want to help you, but I can’t help you if you haven’t done at least some of the leg work.

Believe me, I’ve done the leg work. Do you know how many dorms I put up fliers in today?

Let me guess… all of them?

And do you know how many meetings I went to in the past 48 hours alone? More than I have classes I’m earning credit hours for.

I’m not saying you’re not a hard worker. Clearly you’re burning the candle at both ends. But you’re distracted. And this is coming from me. I’m the queen of distraction. The duchess of hyper fixation. The dowager countess of-

I get it, Jessica. I just… maybe you’re right. Maybe I'm not prioritizing the right things.

Hey. It’s not about right or wrong. People’s behavior is always motivated by something. I don’t remember a lot from psych 101, but I do remember that. I’m not sure if psychoanalysis is quite the right approach for this particular text, but-

Are you calling me a text? Did you pre-game this study session?

Please, I’m just saying, maybe it’d be worth it to take some time to… I don’t know, take some inventory of why you’re spreading yourself so thin.

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Remind me of how many meetings you’re not earning credit hours for?

Okay, fine. I’m running myself ragged, I’ll admit it. Most people in my clubs only see me as the volunteer, the servant leader. I say yes, to everything. It feels good to say yes.

But after a while, you run out of time and space in which to say yes to the things that matter.

Like school work?

Come on, Chip. I’m not that lame. Do you know when I decided I wanted to be your friend? What pushed us from acquaintances to actual friends?

During June Orientation. I snuck you an extra blondie from the dining hall, right?

Okay, that was also nice, but no. It was last October, during fall break. I was so stressed with my take home midterms, and everyone else was either dealing with their own stuff or off campus having fun. Do you remember what you were doing? You were right here, with me. You wanted me to stop panicking. I was kicking myself for not starting sooner. I had been so distracted with everything in the first few weeks, and I fell behind. Do you remember what you said to me?

“Friends are more important than work. You can catch up on readings and papers...”

“But if you don’t keep up with the people you care about, they’ll leave you behind.” But you didn’t leave me behind.

And you always help me catch up on my work. I make things harder on myself, I know.

Why do you think you do that?

I wish I could explain it. Saying yes, accepting responsibility… It lets me pretend that I’m confident and I know what I’m doing. It allows people to see me the way I want to be seen. But the truth is… I don’t know what I’m doing. You know I’ve never even had a boyfriend?

Never? I mean, a lot of gay guys don’t date in high school but you seem so…

So what?

I feel like… If I call you experienced that makes it sound like I think you’re a slut. Not that I’m not sex-positive. But you’re… Let’s say you’re seasoned. A seasoned veteran.

Ooh, a seasoned veteran of the sex and gender war. I’ll drink to that.

Cheers.

But I’m serious. I may have served my share of tours in the gay Army–

You mean the navy?

But I’ve never liked someone who actually liked me back.

So you’re running yourself ragged because you think that’ll get someone to like you?

No. I’m running myself ragged so that… so that I can like me.

You don’t like yourself?

I wouldn’t say I’m filled with self-loathing, but… no. I don’t think I’m very smart, or interesting. When I’m sitting still, all on my own, I feel useless. Boring.

But you’re not, though. Believe me, Chip, there are people in our class who barely work half as hard as you do, on a good day, and you’re twice as cool as any of them.

I mean, that’s just like… Math, right? By that logic, if those people worked twice as hard as they do now, they’d be right where I am.

Blah, shut up, no. I’m not a math major. What I’m saying is, they’re just getting by. They’re not trying to do better, or be a better version of themselves. They’re stagnant, flat characters. You’re dynamic and complex and round.

I’ve kept the Freshman 15 off, thank you very much.

You know what I mean. You want to change, and grow. You make other people want to grow, too.

I don’t think I’m that influential.

Well, you’ve influenced me. You’re making a difference just by being yourself.

You know… you might be right. You know someone came out to me today?

Ooh! Anyone I know?

Ehhh, probably not. And if you knew them I would still want to keep it private. Confidential Advisor Oath, I can’t go around outing every bro who comes out to me, drunk or not. The capital-Q Questioning guys always seem to find me, though.

You do have a certain way about you. You’re… welcoming. If there really was a gay agenda, you’d be a great recruiter.

“Give me your drunk, your horny, your closeted masses yearning to breathe free…”

So, you don’t have to out this person. But give me context at least!

Fine. I was putting up fliers and the one I put on the bulletin board got torn down. I thought he was the one who did it, so I got pissed at him, but he was very apologetic. Still didn’t quite trust him at first. He was such a… such a guy, you know?

Yes, ugh, men, right? They’re so sexy and dumb. Present company partially excluded.

I’ve procrastinated on every assignment I’ve been assigned this semester. I am a hot dumb mess.

So what about this guy? Hot? Dumb? Messy?

If I’m honest? He really wasn’t on my radar until he came out to me. But I guess in some world he’s… handsome. Kind of muscly.

Ooh, muscly! Is he an athlete? Is he bi?

Confidential Advisor Oath!

Ugh, fine. So, he came out to you. That’s big.

Yeah, for him. I dunno. You get to a level of gay-confidence where coming out feels like doing your laundry, and you forget that for some people, it’s this whole struggle. I just… I always seem to find the guys who make me wonder, are they coming out to me because they’ve always wanted to experiment with a guy and I feel safe, or because they really need to tell someone, and I’m the only queer in whispering distance?

So what’s the vibe with this guy?

He seemed sincere. Thought I was a badass. Which I guess I sort of am.

You are. A cute one, too.

I mean, cute is neither here nor there.

Um, excuse me? Don’t talk about my friend like that. You are damn cute, Chip. You’re more of a snack than late night cheesy bread.

Hey, late night cheesy bread isn't a snack. It is a lifestyle

Did you hear Pizza Hut’s getting replaced next year? Dining services are getting a complete overhaul.

What? That’s a travesty. We should riot. I demand more nocturnal cholesterol.

I’ll drink to that. Sorry for the cheesy diversion. Continue.

Thanks. Regardless of my cuteness, you’re right. I do need to be more focused, and make more time for the things… the people who matter. Myself included.

I support you wholeheartedly in that endeavor.

Your unwavering solidarity is greatly appreciated.

You do need to write your paper, though. Before the sun comes up.

I love nothing more than a challenge.

The paper has to be 8 pages, double spaced.

…You’re lying.

I’m not. You really didn’t read the prompt, did you?

Hey, it’s cool. I figure I can write six pages and then up the font size on my periods. That’ll bump me up to 8, easy.

I’ve got to admit… you’re some kind of evil genius, Chip.

A badass evil genius. I should put that on my resume.

Cheers to that.