[DEV] CH 14: Socioemotional Development in Early Adulthood

stability and change from childhood to adulthood

• Revolves around adaptively integrating our emotional experiences into enjoyable relationships with others 

• First 20 years of life are not meaningless in predicting an adult’s socioemotional well-being 

• Common finding; the smaller the time intervals over which we measure socioemotional characteristics, the more similar an individual will look from one measurement to the next

temperament

•  individual’s behavioral style and characteristic emotional responses 

• Early adulthood; show fewer emotional mood swings than in adolescence, more responsible and engage in less risk-taking behavior

[temperament] easy and difficult temperaments

• Easy temperament -> well adjusted as young adults 

• Difficult temperament -> not well adjusted

[temperament] inhibition

• Higher levels of inhibition at 14 months became more reserved and introverted adults with lower social functioning with friends and family at age 26

• Higher risk of developing anxiety and depression problems 

• Increasing trajectory of shyness -> social anxiety, mood disorders, and substance use in adulthood

[temperament] emotion regulation

Emotionality was associated with depression in emerging adulthood

attachment

• Romantic partners fulfill some of the same needs for adults as parents do for their children 

• Securely attached infants -> use caregiver as a secure base from which to explore the environment

  • Securely attached in adult romantic relationships 

  • More stable relationships

• Weakened by stressful and disruptive experiences such as the death of a parent or instability of caregiving 

developmental cascade model

• involves connections across domains over time that influence developmental pathways and outcomes 

Hazan and Shvaer’s measure of adult attachment

1. secure attachment

2. avoidant attachment 

3. anxious attachment

[Hazan] secure attachment

• positive views of relationships, not overly concerned with relationships

[Hazan] avoidant attachment

• hesitant about getting involved in romantic relationships and distance themselves

[hazan] anxious attachment

• demand closeness, less trusting, more emotional

general trends in attachment

• Prefer securely attached partner

  • Well-integrated sense of self-acceptance, self-esteem, and self-efficacy

  • Control their emotions

  • Optimistic and resilient 

• Somewhat stable in adulthood, but adults have the capacity to change their attachment thinking and behavior 

• Makes only a moderate contribution to relationship functioning 

love

•  vast and complex territory of human behavior, spanning a range of relationships that includes friendship, romantic love, affectionate love, and consummate love

hallmarks of intimacy

• self-disclosure and the sharing of private thoughts 

intimacy

• Adolescents have an increased need for intimacy 

• Central task of adulthood; intimacy, identity, independence 

• Higher relational intimacy online 

• Erikson’s identity and identity confusion

  • Pursuing who we are, what we are all about, and where we are going in life 

  • Enter intimacy vs. isolation 

  • Intimacy; finding oneself while losing oneself in another person and it requires a commitment to another person

• Identity development in adolescence is a precursor to intimacy

true intimacy

one’s capacity for security in aloneness that gives intimacy its base makes genuine intimacy possible

difficulty in intimacy

• For people who have a difficult time finding intimacy, they may isolate themselves or find themselves in a relationship with improbable partners or partners who do not match them.

• Erikson argues that some relationships ened because of unresolved conflicts in the earlier stages. A line like "I need to find myself first" - 1) What stage do you think is this person trying to resolve?

friendship

• Adulthood brings opportunities for new friendships as individuals move to new locations and may establish new friendships in their neighborhood at work

• long lasting

romantic love

• Passionate love or eros

• Strong components of sexuality and infatuation 

• Berscheid: sexual desire is the most important ingredient of love

• Source of anguish, which can lead to depression 

online romance and dating

• Use online dating services

• Resource-acquisition ability; level of education and income 

  • Gender difference occurring in every country 

• Singles indicated that they were making more time for their romantic search, refining what they wanted in a partner, and rethinking how and where they would search for love

[online dating] critics

• Critics: lose interpersonal connection, whereas others emphasize that the internet may benefit shy or anxious individuals who find it difficult to meet potential partners in person 

  • Misrepresent their characteristics 

affectionate love

• Also called companionate love

• Type of love that occurs when someone desires to have the other person near and has deep, caring affection for the person

consummate love

based on Sternberg’s triarchic theory of love

• strongest, fullest form of love

Sternberg’s triarchic theory of love

• can be thought of as a triangle with 3 main dimensions 

1. passion

2. intimacy 

3. commitment

[Sternberg] Passion

• physical and sexual attraction to another person

[Sternberg] Intimacy

• relates to the emotional feelings of warmth, closeness and sharing in the relationship

[Sternberg] Commitment

• cognitive appraisal of the relationship and the intent to maintain the relationship even in the face of problems

If only passion

• infatuated -> fling or affair 

if only intimacy and commitment

affectionate love

if passion and commitment

• fatuous love -> one person worships another from distance

empty love

Commitment Only. Think arranged marriages.

nonlove

none of the 3 elements

summary of sternberg’s love

collectivist countries: romantic relationships

China and Korea

• Intimacy is more diffused in love because of the strong group emphasis on connections outside of romantic love relationship

• Feelings of commitment are stronger

individualistic countries: romantic relationships

• United States and European

  • Intensified because of an individual’s social network is likely to be smaller and less group-oriented

Japan: romantic relationships

Marriage rate is declining so rapidly

Argentina: romantic relationships

• Romantic interest is much stronger than in Japan 

• Sexual and romantic flirtation is a way of life

France: romantic relationships

• interest in passionate love is strong 

  • Extramarital affairs

Qatar: romantic relationships

• casual dating is forbidden and public displays of affection can be punished with prison time 

  • Way: coed parties in hotel rooms

falling out of love

• Being in love when love is not returned can lead to depression, obsessive thoughts, sexual dysfunction, health problems, inability to work effectively, difficulty in making new friends, and self-condemnation

• Thinking unclear: colored by arousing emotions 

positive changes brought about by breakups

• might lead to positive change 

  • Focused on factors that can improve adjustment and produce positive outcomes 

  • Higher optimism, self-esteem, and grit 

  • not all produce this outcome

• lowered self-esteem effect disappeared after 1 year

  

Gottman’s marriage

• Gottman: studying married couple’s lives for a number of decades

  • History, philosophy, view of marriage

  • Physiological measures; heart rate, blood flow, blood pressure, immune functioning

  • Checks back every year

• Love is not something magical and through knowledge and effort couples can improve their relationship

Gottman’s ways of making marriage work

1. establish love maps

2. nurture fondness and admiration

3. turn toward each other instead of away 

4. let your partner influence you

5. solve solvable conflicts

6. overcome gridlock

7. create shared meaning

[Gottman] establish love maps

• Willing to share their feelings with each other 

• Express understanding but also fondness and admiration

[Gottman] Turn toward each other instead of away

see each other as friends

[Gottman] let your partner influence you

• A willingness to share power and to respect the other;s view is a prereq to compromising

[Gottman] solve solvable conflicts

• Perpetual; type that don’t go away and may include disagreements about weather have children and how often to have sex

• Solvable problems; can be worked out and may include things as not helping each other reduce daily stresses and not being verbally affectionate 

• It is about negotiating and accommodating each other

[Gottman] create shared meaning

• Speak candidly and respectfully with each other, the more likely it is that they will create shared meaning in their marriage

• Sharing goals with each other and working together to achieve each other’s goals

successful relationships

• Forgiveness and commitment are important aspects of a successful marriage

  • Self-repair processes in healthy relationships 

• May in times of conflict sacrifice their personal self-interest for the benefit of marriage

• strong commitment: When a couple is not happily married and can help them get through hard times with the hope that the future will involve positive changes in the relationship

• Personality traits also affect

sexual aspect of marriage

• frequency of sexual intercourse is linked with marital satisfaction (so the more satisfied, the more sexual intercourse) BUT a satisfying sex life and a warm interpersonal relationship were more important than the frequency

Strategies for remarried couples

1. Have realistic expectations 

2. Develop new positive relationships within the family

• Create new traditions 

• Allot time

3. Counter set relationship patterns or ghosts

• Patterns or ghosts: continue to haunt the individual unless he works to change them