KINSHIP/BEAUTY/B

C: Huh?

(B:) When the lights went out on Death?

EVERYBODY: My dream. But also it was a play.

(B:) That you were watching?

EVERYBODY: Wait, I’m not done yet.

(B:) What do you mean you’re not done yet?

EVERYBODY: There’s still more dream.

(B:) But I thought you said you woke up?

EVERYBODY: I did, but then I fell back asleep and the dream kept going.

(B:) Then why did you tell us you woke up?

D: No, no, keep going

(B:) Yeah, keep going.

EVERYBODY: What the fuck is wrong with you?

(B:) Whoa!

C: Guys, guys, guys, come on, come on.

(B:) Yeah, we were having such a nice time.

EVERYBODY: Am I the only person who heard that? Am I crazy?

(B:) I’m sure that’s not what they meant.

EVERYBODY: Cousin?!

(KINSHIP:) Hey, you!

EVERYBODY: Kinship?! Oh my god?!

(KINSHIP:) Uh oh. What’s wrong? Something’s wrong. What do you need? Is it money? Is it shelter? Is it something to eat? Is it something to drink? A shoulder to cry on? Is it a life lesson? Do you need someone to keep a secret? Do you want to hear someone else’s secret? If so, that’s what were here for, but if you’re looking for sexual partners, you’re going to have look elsewhere.

EVERYBODY: Thanks you guys. So here's the deal: I have been summoned to go on this journey, from which it seems unlikely I will ever return and, not only that, but, at the end of it, I have to give some sort of presentation on how I’ve lived my life and whyI've lived it that way- which I think means talking about al bad things that I've done but also, I think, the good things I did-- if I even did any- but, anyway, I've come to beg you to please please please go with me, not only because it would be so great to have at my side someone-- or someones!- I truly, truly love but also because I did such a poor job of keeping track of my life that I can't really remember all the things I've done but you've known me this whole time so you might actually be able to help me fill in some of the gaps!

(KINSHIP:) Sorry, who is this for?

EVERYBODY: For God?

(KINSHIP:) God?

COUSIN: Wait! God is real?

(KINSHIP:) See?! I told you!

EVERYBODY: Actually it depends on your definition of real.

(KINSHIP:) But God must be real if they came to you and ask you for this account, right?

EVERYBODY: Well, actually, it was Death that came to me. Which, I guess, is kind of like God’s assistant?

(KINSHIP:) Uhhhh…

EVERYBODY: What about you, Kinship? You'll go with me, won't you? You're more than my cousin! We share more genetic material so were supposed to be more biologically programmed to watch out and care about each other

(KINSHIP:) This is actually sort of complicated, because I would totally go with you but I’m sick right now.

EVERYBODY: Sick how? Like terminally. That’s perfect!

(KINSHIP:) No, I hurt my toe earlier and so I can’t really travel. Ow. See.

EVERYBODY: I can carry you!

(KINSHIP:) No, you can’t! Because I also have this cough. That’s part of the sickness. But you know what? Why don’t you take… this little girl! She seems like she might be really helpful and a lot of fun, like she can dance. Kids also know a lot of jokes, which will help lighten the mood. Right, Little Girl? You know how to have a good time! Plus, she’s so young she won’t even understand what’s going on! Let’s see what she says! Hi, Little Girl! My family member here is about to die and needs someone to go with them to the afterlife. Do you wanna die with my family here and accompany them to the afterlife, Little Girl? No?... No?... No?.... You don't?... You do or you don't?. Hello?. Yes? No?... Was that a nod?... No?... Hello? No? Yes?... Do you? Do you not?. Yes? No?... Is that a yes?... No? That's a no?. Or is that a no?... Or is that a yes?. Yes? Or no?... No? You don't?... You do?. Yes?. No?... No?... Yes-

EVERYBODY: Will you leave that little girl alone and just tel me: Are you going to stay here or are you going to go with me?!

(KINSHIP:) Oh! You need someone to stay? I can do that for you! I’m so glad I could help! What’s that, Little Girl? You need to go to the bathroom? I’ll take you. Gotta help this Little Girl find the bathroom! Bye now!

EVERYBODY: No, I think you don’t know what you meant, clearly-

(B:) Come on, you guys-

EVERYBODY: Me too!

(B:) You guys, you guys, come on stop.

A: Where is my coat?

(B:) Wait, don’t go!

SENSES: What’s going on?

(BEAUTY:) What’s going on?

SENSES: Five Senses.

(BEAUTY:) Beauty.

DEATH: Uh... I'm escorting Everybody to a plane of existence beyond this one and from whence there is no return.

(BEAUTY:) Oooooh!

SENSES: Me, too! I’ve got a good feeling about this.

(BEAUTY:) Yeah, it sounds really beautiful so, me too!

DEATH: Alright! Everybody in!

(BEAUTY:) In where? This dirt hole?

DEATH: "In this grave you all must creep and rot to Earth for there to sleep."

(BEAUTY:) What?

DEATH: It’s the only way to the other side

(BEAUTY:) Oh no. I’m meant to be seen and admired, so I’m out of here! Bye!

EVERYBODY: What?! Beauty?! Where are you going>!

(BEAUTY:) I can’t hear you! La la la la! Beauty is deaf!