Donna - Mamma Mia

ACT 1: SCENE 2

ACT 1: SCENE 2

Tanya: Yes. Donna knows I don’t do walking…

Well, will you look what the tide washed in?

Rosie/Tanya: Donna—

AND THE DYNAMOS!

Rosie: So how’s the mother of the bride?

Much better for seeing the two of you. God, Tanya— eight friggin’ years!

Tanya: I know, honey. I’m sorry, It’s just been one jet setting millionaire after another.

I know and I’ve been chained to this place. The constant battles with the bank-manager.

Sophie: Of course I do, Auntie Tanya.

Will you look at my baby— her whole life ahead of her…

Sophie: Mom, I’m getting married, not joining a convent.

I know, well in my day, you just didn’t get married at twenty…

Rosie: … Donna— in our day we didn’t get married— period!

A white weeding, can you believe this? I don’t know where she gets it from.

Sky: Don’t blame me, Donna. It wasn’t my idea.

Girls, meet the leading man at tomorrow’s shin-dig. Sky, this is Tanya and Rosie, my one-time back-up band and all-time best pals.

Eddie: No— because he gets up your nose.

Tanya, meet Pepper and Eddie— my bar-staff, waiters, boat-men, and general help. Only they’re generally no help at all— don’t you two have any work to do?

Tanya: Honey, the Taverna looks fabuous.

We’ve got Sky to thank for that.

Sky: I’d had enough. I’d been dealing in the world, but I’d never seen the world.

… well, you should see what he’s done to my world. He’s got me on-line, e-mailed, wired-up, and knuckled-down.

Sky: You have to move with the times, Donna— no more drachmas under the mattress.

You just invent me a machine that’ll make the beds.

Sophie: If they did, you’d be going along behind it, making them again. I know you, Mom.

Are you kidding? I’ll be more than ready to put my feet up when my boat comes in.

Rosie: Well, it’s a bit of an eye-sore.

That eyesore’s going to be my Floating Casino!

Rosie: What?

Sky and Eddie are transforming it into a millionaire’s paradise—

Tanya: I don’t think so, honey, I spent their millions.

Well, girls, that is my jackpot! I need a break, I need a vacation— I’ve been running this hotel for fifteen years and I’ve never had a day off… MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

ACT 1: SCENE 3

ACT 1: SCENE 3

Bill: Donna!

Bill?

Harry: Hello Donna.

Harry?

Sam: Hi.

You!! MAMMA MIA

MAMMA MIA

I’m dreaming, aren’t I? You aren’t really here?

Sam: Would you like me to pinch you?

You keep you hands to yourself.

Sam: You’ve changed your tune…

What the hell are you doing here, Sam? What are any of you doing here? I’m sorry. I’m just— amazed to see you all.

Sam: I thought I’d just drop in and say hi…

Oh dear— what a shame— we don’t have any rooms. It’s that time of year…

Sam: Just as well I booked ahead. You two can bunk down with me if they’re really full.

This is so— inconvenient!

Sam: Why?

Because… one of the local girls is getting married tomorrow, and I just don’t have the staff to cope with you— you’d be so much more comfortable on the mainland.

Sam: Not at all. Bill’s used to suffering for his art and Head-Banger here’s the last word in spontaneous.

What about you?

Sam: I came here to see the island. You know what it meant to me.

Well, I’d love to stop and chew over old times, but I have to go and… clean out my purse.

ACT 1: SCENE 4

ACT 1: SCENE 4

Rosie: I’ll have to let out a few seams.

Where’s Sophie?

Rosie: Haven’t seen her. Why?

I must find her. Now.

Tanya: Da-dah!

What the hell is that about?

Tanya: It was in the trunk. You should hang this in the bar. Show Sophie what a funky mom she’s got…

…NO— get rid of it— burn it— I never want to see it again…

Rosie: What’s wrong?… what’s happened…?

… I thought it was over… past… I’d almost forgotten… but it isn’t!

Rosie: What isn’t?

Nothing— leave me alone. I can’t talk about it… I knew this would happen. All my life it’s been tapping at my shoulder— of course it had to come out now! It had to… God, why was a such a stupid little idiot! CHIQUITITA

CHIQUITITA

It’s her Dad.

Tanya: Whose Dad?

Sophie’s. You know how I always said it was Sam, the architect who went home to get married…

Rosie: … typical man…

… well, I’m not really sure if it was him. Y’see there were a couple of others…

Rosie: Why didn’t you tell us?

‘Cos I didn’t think I’d ever have to, I didn’t think all three’d be sitting in my bar the day before their daughter’s wedding!

Rosie: In the bar?

Don’t let them see you!

Tanya: Are you sure?

Of course I’m sure. You think I’d forget my daughter’s Dads? It’s Sam, Bill Austin, and Harry ‘Head Banger’.

Tanya/Rosie: Not…?

Why have they all turned up like this? It’s like some horrible twist of Fate.

Tanya: Do they know?

They can’t know— I’ve never told anyone— why are they here to ruin Sophie’s wedding?

Tanya: I thought you weren’t keen on this wedding…

… I don’t want them spoiling it. They’ve got not right to turn up like this— what the hell have they ever done for their daughter?

Rosie: Donna, be fair— they didn’t know she existed…

… and they don’t need to know— I’ve done a damn good job with Soph, all by myself, and now I’m going to be muscled out by an ejaculation!

Rosie: Donna— you should have told us. I remember Bill Austin— he was a hot slice of beef cake.

Oh sure— it’s a laugh and a memory to you two, but I was the one who got pregnant. I suppose this just about serves me right.

Tanya: Oh my god— you sound just like your mother.

I do not!

Tanya: Whatever happened to our Donna? — life-n’-soul of the party; el rock chick supremo?

She grew up that’s all.

Rosie: … yea, screw ‘em if they can’t take a joke—

DANCING QUEEN

ACT 1: SCENE 6

ACT 1: SCENE 6

Tanya: One night—one number— that’s all we’ve got the breath for— Give it up for— DONNA AND THE DYNAMOS!

SUPER TROUPER

SUPER TROUPER

What the hell are they doing here?

ACT 1: SCENE 8

VOULEZ VOUS

ACT 2: SCENE 2

What's going on Sophie? What are you doing…? It’s six o’clock in the morning.

Sophie: I don’t know. I…

Wait right there.

Sophie: I’m all right, Mom.

Of course you’re not all right— you’re sleep-walking again.

Sophie: Again? When do I ever sleep walk?

The night you came down with the measles. The time you couldn’t finish your times-table…

Sophie: Oh, Mom— get off, I’m not a baby.

I know, but you’re still my daughter, Soph, and I know that something’s wrong. (pause) It can be stopped, it' isn’t too late— I can sort out these wedding shenanigans…

Sophie: Shenanigans? What do you mean— shenanigans?

I’m sorry— it’s just a figure of speech…

Sophie: No, that’s what you think— isn’t it?— I’m stupid to get married, it’s just a whim?

Well, I’m not pretending I really understand, but…

Sophie: Of course you don’t. You did just fine without a man, didn’t you— you never did that marriage and babies thing. You just did the baby.

What the hell’s going on here? Why are you coming down on me?

Sky/Pepper/Eddie: Voulez-vous… take it now or leave it…

Jesus, will you stop that racket before you wake the whole island! Eddie— where did you get that monstrosity?

Eddie: …no, I found these babies in the cellar. Just what we need for a wedding. Are they yours Donna?

No, they’re… And what sort of wedding do you think there’s going to be in the state of the three of you? Sky, you’re not marrying my daughter smelling like a frat house— hit the tub… Where do you think you’re going?

Pepper: To scrub the groom’s back?

Oh no, you’re not. I want the champagne on ice and the ouzo in the punch-bowls, lay out the tablecloths, the cutlery and the best glasses— you’ll have to wash and polish them first… Eddie— get your boat out.

Eddie: Why?

Because my guests want to dive down to the old wreck, to look for more pearl necklaces.

Eddie: Donna— we planted the one Sky found last night.

I don’t care— it’ll keep them busy till the wedding starts. For God’s sake just do it! ONE OF US

Sam: Donna. What’s the rush?

The small matter of a wedding.

Sam: Oh yes— about this wedding… you kept my bag-pipes.

They scare off unwanted visitors.

Sam: You don’t need bag-pipes to do that.

I wouldn’t. My bite is worse than my bark.

Sam: Yeah, I know— I’ve go the scars. Want to see them?

What do you want, Sam?

Sam: I’ve had an idea for an extension.

I don’t want your stupid extension! What are you doing here?

Sam: You’re living my dream— remember? — the island, the Taverna— my dream.

Well, this is my reality. Hard work and a crippling mortgage.

Sam: Would you like me to take a look at that roof, it won’t last through the winter.

I’ll fix my own damn roof!

Sam: Ok. Fine. Be a martyr! I’ve got kids, I know it’s hard for you, doing it on your own.

Don’t you patronize me. I love doing it on my own— every morning I wake up and thank Christ I haven’t got some middle-aged, menopausal man to bother me— I’m single, I’m free, and it’s great! SOS

Sam: Why didn’t you tell me it was Sophie getting married?

That’s absolutely none of your business.

Sam: And what’s this Sky guy like— is he good enough for her?

And that’s none of your business, either! SOS

ACT 2: SCENE 4

Can’t get my hat right— can’t get anything right… come in…

Harry: Donna…

Harry— what are you doing here?

Harry: I wanted to give you this.

I don’t mean here here, I mean here on this island…

Harry: Please…

Holy Shit! What’s this?

Harry: I though you must have had to tighten your belt a bit— over the years. Looking after Sophie on your own. I wanted to contribute a little something to the wedding.

This would cover four weddings and a funeral! Oh, Harry— it’s a lovely gesture, but…

Harry: Do you remember the last time you said that to me?

No

Harry: The night I brought you the guitar— I can remember thinking, those are the last words I’ll ever hear from Donna, and I’ll always treasure them. ‘Oh Harry— it’s a lovely gesture, but…’

You just made that up. I’m sure I said thank you nicely, like a well-brought up Catholic girl.

Harry: That’s better. You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you laugh since I arrived.

I’m a bit stressed, Harry— what do you expect?

Harry: A bit more of the old Donna. A bit less of the well-brought up Catholic girl… Our Last Summer

Hold on… Harry, I can’t take this, I meant it— I don’t know why you think I should… Come in!

Harry: Donna— I want you to have it. We can’t talk about this now, but… I’ll see you at the wedding.

The wedding?

Harry: I’ve been invited.

So, that’s the dress.

Sophie: Yes.

It’s gorgeous! Right then, are Lisa and Ali ready to help you?

Sophie: Will you help me Mom? Slipping Through My Fingers

Slipping through my fingers all the time… Hop in.

Sophie: Do you think I’m letting you down?

Why in the world would you say that?

Sophie: ‘cos everyone says your Mom’s so cool, running a business and bringing up a kid— all on her own…

… didn’t have much a choice, did I? An unmarried Mom in the seventies? I couldn’t very well go back home— my mother disowned me.

Sophie: What? I… didn’t know…

It was a damn good thing, too. Rather be here than some depressing old housing-project… Look at you. Slipping Through My Fingers

Sophie: Will you give me away? I’m so proud of you, Mom.

Slipping Through My Fingers

Sam: Donna?

Not now, Sam.

Sam: Sophie tells me you’re giving her away.

Yes of course I am. Who else?

Sam: How about her Dad?

He isn’t here.

Sam: It’s what she want, she told me— she wants her father here… and maybe her father wants that too.

What? Don’t do this now, Sam— I don’t want to hear this now…

Sam: Donna— listen! This is about us…

Winner Takes It All

ACT 2: SCENE 5

ACT 2: SCENE 5