Studied by 9 people
Dialectic of Certainty
Conventuonality-uniqueness Uniqueness - casual wedding wearing shorts Conventionality - traditional wedding in a chruch (External Manifestation)
Dialectic of Expression - Tensions involving issues of disclosure
Open-closedness Openness - "I want my partner to tell me everything" Closedness - "I would like to keep info to myself and expect the same" (Internal Manifestation)
Dialectic of Expression - Revelation-concealment
Concealment - private relationship Revalation - Dyad's friends ask for u to tell them about the problems in relationship (External manifestation)
Managing Tensions - Selection
Deciding to value one side of the dialectic more than the other.
Could be a problem if one partner wants to engage the other side of the dialectic later.
Managing Tensions - Separation
Favoring different sides of the dialectic at different times and in different contexts.
Managing Tensions - Neutralization
avoiding full engagement of either side of the dialectic
Disqualification
Being ambiguous; changing the subject; avoiding discussion
Managing Tensions - Moderation
Striving to reach a midpoint in the dialectic
Managing Tensions - Reframing
adjusting perceptions so that the dialectics are viewed as complementary rather than contradictory
Limitations of the dialectical perspective
Individuals in close relationships are likely to struggle with dialectics of integration, certainty, and expression, but it is difficult to predict how they will manage them.
Skills for forming new relationships - Relationship initiation
Ability to make good first impressions, highlight strengths, self presentation
Verbal: compliments -Nonverbal: Eye contact, etc Ability to initiate plans
Skills for forming new relationships - Skill in self disclosure
Ability to engage in the appropriate level of self-disclosure for the stage of the relationship.
Level of disclosure typically increases as relationship progresses.
Skills for forming new relationships - Skill in Emotional Support
Ability to communicate empathy and warmth, verbally and non-verbally. Communicating responsiveness = care, concern, liking
Skills for forming new relationships - Active Listening
Demonstrate verbally and non-verbally that you are paying attention throughout the exchange.
Do not interrupt.
Do defer judgments.
Skills for forming new relationships - Skill in negative assertion
Revealing negative personal information.
Preserving negative face.
Saying “no,” expressing hurt feelings
Skills for forming new relationships - Conflict management
Listening, understanding divergent perspectives, refraining from communicating hostility
Stage models depict _____
relationship development and disengagement as largely linear processes.
Knapp's model explains relationship development through ____
coming together stages, maintenance stages, and coming apart stages.
Knapp's model explains that communication between partners is ____
different in each stage of the relationship
Knapp's model is usually applied to
Romantic relationships, but is relevant to friendships as well
Coming Together Stage 1: Initiating
Focuses on first impressions.
Attraction very important here. Introductions and superficial topics dominate initial conversation
Disclosure during Stage 1. Initiating is
Low in breadth, depth, frequency, and duration.
Judgements during the initiating stage are
made quickly
Rewarding expectations = _____, nonrewarding ____
Next stage, ends here
Coming Together Stage 2. Experimenting
Couples seek more in-depth information as a means of determining whether or not a potential romantic partner would be a good fit.
Experimenting stage usually directly follows
Initiating stage
Experimenting may involve
posing direct or indirect questions or asking a common acquaintance about the potential partner to reduce uncertainty
Small Talk (Experimenting)
breadth over depth positive valence, idea of self-presentation
Establishing similarities and differences (Experimenting)
Interests, hobbies, goals Perceived similarity predicts moving to next stage
Most relationships do not move beyond the _____ stage
Experimenting
Coming Together Stage 3. Intensifying
Increased contact (in person, texting) Self disclosure increases and commitment begins to manifest More meaningful interactions
In Stage 3. Intensifying, Dyads begin to employ
Uncertainty reduction strategies and secret tests
Coming Together Stage 4. Integrating
Couples form a sense of shared, public relational identity
Stage 4. Integrating, presents changes in verbal communication such as
Using future tense Using "we" instead of "us"
"Coupling"
Occurs within and outside dyad - dyad knows itself as a couple and others understand that as well.
In Stage 4. Integrating, social networks ____
merge, dyad shares friends
In the integrating stage, attitudes preferences in a dyad
Align
In the integrating stage, dyads are more comfortable ___
disclosing negative personal information,
Disclosure depth and breadth increase in the
Integrating stage
Coming Together Stage 5. Bonding
Public commitment via social rituals, relationships become institutionalized
In Bonding, significant barriers to breakup are erected, such as
merged social networks, shared possessions
Coming Apart Stage 1. Differentiating
Goal of people in this stage: to maintain (or re-assert) individual identity and autonomy
Differentiating stage may make individuals in a dyad
act as individuals rather than as a couple (emphasize difference)
Differentiating can be the result of entering the bonding stage ____
too quickly
Feelings of being "tied down" or feeling resentment about relationship commitment begin in the _____
differentiating stage
The differentiating stage shows an
increase in conflict
The differentiating stage is not necessarily ____
a path toward relational termination. Temporary separation may solve the problem.
Coming Apart Stage 2: Circumscribing
Partners begin to feel that they have nothing to talk about
In the circumscribing stage, communication suffers in the following ways:
Becomes shallower Range of topics discussed grows smaller Tension prohibits asking/doing favors
In the circumscribing stage, a dyad's sense of closeness
may seem to be eroding
the circumsribing stage may bring about feelings of
frustration, distance, and misunderstanding
A decrease in expressions of love and commitment are characteristics of the
circumscribing stage
True or false: relationships are doomed if there is some circuscribing.
False. some circumscribing can be normal, and efforts to reconnect may still be successful
Coming apart stage 3. Stagnating
Communication becomes tense and awkward.
feel that they already know what their partner will say
feel that the outcome of interactions will always be negative.
It may be difficult to revive relationships in the _____
Stagnating stage
Costs outweigh benefits in the ____
stagnating stage
Emotions in the stagnating stage include:
feeling unwanted, feeling sentimental for “the way it used to be” and boredom.
I dyad may stay in the stagnating stage because ____
hey are holding onto positive memories and hope the relationship can turn itself around.
Coming Apart Stage 4. Avoiding
Individuals in the relationship become separate from one another physically and psychologically.
Primary characteristics of the avoiding stage:
physical separation and psychological distance.
When there is communication between a dyad in the avoiding stage, it is marked by
antagonism and unfriendliness
Partners make plans about how the breakup will occur in the
Avoiding stage
Forms of distancing in the avoiding stage: Avoidance
preventing or reducing interaction during an encounter
Forms of distancing in the avoiding stage: Disengagement
hiding information and interacting in a less personal manner
Forms of distancing in the avoiding stage:
disregarding messages and showing cognitive or emotional detachment
Coming Apart Stage 5: Terminating
Break-up stage.
People develop their own self-interests and social networks.
Re-establishing independence
Re-establishing non-dyad identity
If communication occurs in the terminating stage, it is usually
tense, awkward, and hesitant
Relationship termination may be healthy:
Well being, personal aspirations
Maintenance Stages
Integrating, bonding, differentiating, circumscribing
Long-term relationships likely fluctuate between _____
maintenance stages
Movement forward in the coming together stages is considered ______ movement. movement backward in the coming apart stages is considered ______ movement.
Forward
True or False: "backward" movement constitutes any movement away from the bonding stage
true - backward movement can be the result of moving too quickly
True or false: Couples can go "back to the way this were"
False - their previous experience in a given stage will color their next trip through that stage.
Limitations of Knapp's model
Not all relationships follow a linear pattern 50-60% of close relationships follow a nonlinear developmental path.
turning point analysis
Turning points are events that are associated with change in commitment in a relationship.
Could be increase commitment or decrease commitment.
Examples of tuning points ____
Activities and special occasions
Meeting a partner’s family
Spending an important holiday or special event with a partner.
Proximity and Distance, Separations and reunions are examples of
Turning points
Major fights and conflicts are
turning points
Limitations of turning point analysis
Less predictive than a stage model.
The hyper-personal model (Online relationship development)
people develop stronger impressions of one another in mediated contexts compared to face-to-face contexts because they overly on the limited information they exchange.
In an online environment, people are both ____
message senders and message receivers.
Message senders have the ability to
selectively present themselves and are more conscious of the information they share with others.
Message receivers may perceive the sender
in an idealized manner.
When the message receiver provides feedback (sends a message back), he or she may
reinforce the sender’s modified self‐ presentation.
Intensification effect
self-discolsure online is very selectively presented and may make people who communicate online for long periods of time to feel exaggerated feelings of closeness and liking.
Disclosure
getting to know another person and letting another person get to know you.
Self-disclosure
Communication that reveals something about the self to others. Typically a gradual process.
Often promotes trust, closeness, and liking
Dimensions of self-disclosure - Breadth
Range of topics
Dimensions of self-disclosure - Depth
Intimacy Level
Dimensions of self-disclosure - Frequency
How often
Dimensions of self-disclosure - Duration
Length of interaction
Dimensions of self-disclosure - Valance
Positive – dreams, warm feelings, happy memories Negative – hostile feelings, fears, anger
Dimensions of self-disclosure - Veracity
Truthfullness
Social penetration theory predicts
As relationships develop, disclosure moves from shallow levels to more intimate levels.
An individual's personality has layers, "public self" is the _____ and "private, authentic self" at the _____
outer layer, core
Vulnerability
opening up oneself for possible rejection or criticism
Factors that lead to increased liking: 1. Timing of disclosure
Does the disclosure violate receiver’s expectations surrounding time? No - predicts liking the sender Yes - predicts not liking the sender
Factors that lead to increased liking: 2. Personalistic versus indiscriminate disclosure
Personalistic Sender discloses information disclosed to very select people. Predicts receiver liking. Indiscriminate Sender discloses information broadly. Does not predict receiver liking.
Factors that lead to increased liking: 3. The receiver’s response
If the receiver is unkind, does not predict sender liking, if they are supportive, predicts sender liking
The dyadic effect
In the initial stages of relationships, self-disclosure needs to be reciprocal. This predicts relationship development.
Reciprocity predicts
Relationship satisfaction and closeness.
Note
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