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power
the ability to influence the behavior of others and to resist their influence on us.
sources of power
From an interdependency perspective, power is based
on the control of valuable resources that are desired by others.
controlling access to resources mores that possessing them.
power is reduced when
the desired resources are readily available elsewhere
principle of lesser interest
in any partnership, the person who has less interest in continuing and maintaining the relationship has more power in that partnership
two different broad types of power
fate control and behaviour control
fate control
the ability to affect a partner's outcomes
behaviour control
Allows one to encourage, but not compel, desired behaviour from a partner
in almost all relationships...
the partners both have power power over each other, so that each is able to get what they want some of the time
types of resources
Reward Power
Coercive Power
Legitimate Power
Referent Power
Expert Power
Informational Power
reward power
power that comes from the ability to provide rewards or favors
coercive power
the ability to levy unwanted punishments, doing something the partner doesn't like, or take aways something they do like
legitimate power
when one partner has a reasonable right - by dint of authority, equity or reciprocity - to tell the other what to do
referent power
emerges from respect and love for a partner. affection and adoration from someone provides one some ability to influence that person
expert power
influence based on special skills or knowledge
informational power
When one partner has specific pieces of information that the other wants
cultural patterns that take male dominance for granted
1) the relative sources of men and women differ
2) social norms support and maintain male dominace
3) true equality is so unfamiliar, we're not sure what it looks like
The process of power
Powerful people are:
used to getting what they want
not very good at comprehending other's points of view
those who find themselves in positions of low power
are more likely to be depressed, behave more cautiously, and fear punishment
conversation
men and women behave similarly
but men interrupt women more often, and those who interrupt others are judged to be more powerful
nonverbal behaviour
powerful people:
take up more space,
display more intense facial expressions, and assume less symmetrical posture
men tend to do this more than women
nonverbal sensitivity
Powerful people decode others' nonverbal communications
less accurately than less powerful people do
and women decode others' nonverbal communication better
the irony of nonverbal sensitivity
in being adept users of nonverbal communication, women gain valuable information that can make them more pleasing partners
on the other hand, this useful and desireable talent may reinforce stereotypes that women are the minions of men
styles of power
- overt and direct
- indirect
- bilateral strategies (cooperation and reasoning)
- unilateral
bilateral strategies
more-so used by the more powerful partner
unilateral strategies
act independently, often used by the less powerful partner
men/women and power strategies
heterosexual men used more bilateral and direct strategies while women used more unilateral and indirect strategies
personality and power strategies
people high in instrumentality tend to use direct, bilateral strategies
the outcome of power
Spouses are much more likely to share decision making than they used to be, and those who do enjoy happier marriages than those who have marriages in which one partner is dominant.
relationships appear to be more stable and happier on the whole when both partners matter to the same extent
the two faces of power
When they are committed to a relationship, many people use power benevolently, generously enhancing their partners' well-being as well as their own. Unfortunately, this does not always occur.
men usually, seek to be top dogs in the relationship and tend to be controlling and domineering
violence
involves acts carried out with the intention of physically hurting another person
range from little harm to severe injury
the prevalence of violence
24% of the women and 14% of the men in the U.S. have encountered severe physical violence from an intimate partner.
And the rates of such violence are even higher elsewhere.
30% of the world's women have been assaulted by a domestic partner.
Types of Couple Violence
1. Situational Couple Violence
2. Intimate Terrorism
3. Violent Resistance
Situational Couple Violence (SCV)
Violence provoked by a particular situation that does not involve a quest for control in the relationship.
Intimate Terrorism (IT)
violence that is motivated by a desire to control the other partner
Violent Resistance (VR)
occurs when a partner forcibly fights back against intimate terrorism (IT)
the many facets of intimate terrorism
- using coercion/threats
- intimidation
- emotional abuse
- minimizing, denying, and blaming
- using children
- using male privilege
- economic abuse
frequency of violence types
When intimate partner violence occurs,
it is usually situational couple violence (SCV),
occasionally intimate terrorism (IT),
and only sometimes violent resistance.
gender and violence
Men and women engage in similar amounts of SCV,
but a vast majority of those who use it are men.
Eight out of every nine intimate terrorist acts are committed by a men.
Women act violently towards their husbands just as often as men act violently toward their wives.
However, men are more likely to cause injuries.
the correlates of violence
both types of violence are complex, emerging from various overlapping influences
The I^3 model of SCV perpetuation
instigating triggers, impelling influences and inhibiting influences determine how high or low risk the possibility of situational couple violence is
distal factor
cultural norms, economic conditions, family experiences
dispositional factors
individual personality characteristics that affect a person's behavior
relational factors
the current state of the couples relationship
situational factors
the immediate circumstances
Violence is less likely:
• cultures that promote gender equality
• conscientious people
• couples with good problem solving skills
• sober people
• in cohabiting couples than married couples
• in dating partners than cohabiting partners
the rationales of violence
Wife-abusing men feel superior to women and believe that their aggression is a legitimate response to their wives' disrespect.
They also maintain, because they do not enjoy hurting women and did less damage than they could have, that they are not "real"abusers.
Why Don't They All Leave?
- they don't think they'll be better off
- costs of leaving seem too high
- partners are sweet and loving some of the time
- women with high anxiety of abandonment are drawn to possessive, controlling men
Note 
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