PAIR Project

Exam 2

Process of Adaption in Intimate Relationships

Developed by Ted Huston, PhD

Purpose: explore courtship and early marriage patterns of couples

Possible Outcomes

1. Married and happy: high satisfaction and happiness
2. Married and unhappy : low satisfaction and happiness
3. Divorced early (within 7 years)
4. Divorced later (after 7 years)

Married and unhappy

1. Had lower satisfaction in relationship
2. Defined relationship as working partnership: rather than a romantic or emotional connection
3. Marriage is stable: choose to stay together and maintain stable marriage for various reasons, financial stability or children

Married and Happy

1. In love and affectionate as newlyweds
2. Expressed negative feelings less often
3. Viewed partner more positively
4. Feelings remained stable over time: despite challenges/changes they maintained positive feelings

Divorced Early or Later

1. Disillusionate: initially affectionate, gradually less loving, more negative, and more critical
2. Major impact: change in relationship in first 2 years, indicating that early experiences and adaptions are crucial to the long-term success of the relationship
3. Most salient predictor: loss of initial love and affection, rather than conflict

Marriage Quiz Results: Disaffected Lovers

The contrast between the happiness felt as newlyweds and the loss of that feeling later → disenchantment

Still some affection and love, may be waning: may be less intense or less frequent than before

With some disagreement and loss of affection and love could lead to doubt about future together: may begin to question whether they will be happy together

Marriage Quiz Results: A Fine Romance

Affectionate, loving, and harmonious relationship

May have lost some affection as realities emerge: realities of life and challenges emerge

Sense of security and cohesiveness in relationship: despite challenges, still sense of security/cohesiveness

Potential for happy and stable relationship: have higher potential due to strong emotional connection and security/cohesiveness

Marriage Quiz Results: Mixed Blessings

Less romantic start; changed little over its 1st 2 years, losing only some of the positive feeling

More conflict and ambivalence than a romantic ideal

Few signs of stress; content in relationship

Marriage Quiz Results: Disengaging Duo

Not overly affectionate and express displeasure with one another

Love changes; greater ambivalence about the relationship

Sense that relationship is unstable: may also contribute to further disengagement

Emotional Climate of Relationship Scale: Reading “What’s love got to do with it? Why some marriages succeed and others fail.”

1. Fine romance (warm): high affection; low antagonism
2. Bland (empty shell): low affection; low antagonism
3. Tempestuous (stormy): high affection; high antagonism
4. Distressed (hostile): low affection; high antagonism

Scale for affection and antagonism to define emotional climate of marriage

Article Findings

1. Women who sense future problems before marriage generally find out later that their concerns were accurate
2. Quickly divorced have serious problems at beginning (less affectionate; more antagonistic)
3. Individuals who possess traits of warmth, concern for others (caring), and kindness make better spouses; those who are moody, irritable, and emotionally up and down make worse spouses
4. Compatibility of partners’ qualities predicts marital success (similar preference for macro-level activities)
5. Loss of love and affection predicts divorce
6. Timing of divorce depends on how positive relationship was at the beginning

Suggestions for Relationship Stability

1. Loving and caring
2. Remind self of partner’s valued traits that initially interested you and also the pleasurable activities you shared
3. Highlight your partner’s positive attributes
4. Discuss important (or significant) issues with partner
5. Recall pleasurable activities
6. Appreciate partner’s presence and give three appreciations a day