Squip Lines ACT 2

dquiped up

BROOKE. You’re sweet, Jeremy. You need a drink!

(CHRISTINE. enters)

SQUIP 2. Look who’s arrived.

JEREMY. I should go. I can’t move my feet.

SQUIPS. You’re welcome.

JEREMY. Then why did you make me drink it?

SQUIP 1: It was important you take advantage of the — OTSKARE.

SQUIP 2. You’ll thank me— DOMO ARIGATO GOZAI MASHTA

SQUIP 3: ONAKA GA SUIATA. HIDARI ASHA GA ITAI NO

SQUIPS: KYOTSKETE KUDASAI

CHRISTINE. I’m sorry.

(CHRISTINE rises and runs off)

SQUIPS. Hello Jeremy.

JEREMY. Look who decided to show up.

SQUIPS. My absence was not ideal.

SQUIPS: My absence was not ideal.

SQUIP 1: But it was necessary.

SQUIP 2. One moment while I review the data from this evening.

…

Oh my.

JEREMY. It’s bad right?

SQUIPS. We need to get you home.

JEREMY. How could this happen?

SQUIP 2. Rich was under a lot of pressure at home.

SQUIP ?. …perhaps he lacked the proper…

SQUIPS. … coping mechanism.

JEREMY. This is Rich’s locker.

SQUIPS. Open it.

JEREMY. There’s gotta be enough squips in here for…

SQUIP ?. The entire school?

SQUIP 2. Now put those pills in that beaker and fill it with Mountain Dew.

JEREMY. I can’t trick her into drinking a pill!

SQUIPS. She’d do anything to feel like she belongs.

JEREMY. Then why did you let me say all that stuff?!

SQUIP 3. So you’d see for yourself what is necessary.

SQUIP 2. Not everyone is as open to change as you were.

JEREMY. You’re going to squip the whole cast.

SQUIP ?. And that’s just for starters.

SQUIPS/2. Soon I won’t just be in your brain. I’LL BE IN EVERYONES!

JEREMY. That’s not what I wanted!

SQUIP. It’s the [] to achieve [] I now realize: my operating system will only be complete when everyone shares a [].

SQUIPS. [ONLY way] [what you want] [social network]

JEREMY. …There has to be some way to turn you off!

SQUIP ?: I’d stop there.

SQUIP 2. Rich tried to fight back and look what happened to him.

JEREMY. Or a friend who’s so old school, he buys 90s soft drinks from the back room at Spencer’s Gifts!

SQUIPS/2. Too bad you don’t have one of THOSE ANYMORE.

SQUIP 1/3. It’s useless resisting, Jeremy. I’m going to improve your life if I have to take over

SQUIPS. The entire human race to do it.

JEREMY. Fine! I’m-

SQUIPS. Vocal cords: block.

MICHAEL. It’s a gesture! Gestures matter!

SQUIPS. Kung-fu fists: activate

JAKE. Actually,that doesn’t sound weird at all.

SQUIPS. Up up down down left right A

JEREMY & MICHAEL. AHH!!! AHH!!! AHH!!!

SQUIP 2. Oh Jeremy. Look what you’re making me make him do.

MICHAEL. How are we supposed to get it? (The bottle).

SQUIPS/2. You can fight off my control, Jeremy. — ALL OF THEM!

SQUIP ?. You don’t want to drink that Jeremy.

JEREMY. Why not?

SQUIPS/2. Because if you drink it, … HER.

CHRISTINE. JEREMY, I LOVE YOU

SQUIP 2. You’ve waited so long to hear Christine say those words.

JEREMY. (to CHRISTINE) — drink this.

SQUIP 2. No!

JEREMY. BUT OF THE VOICES IN MY HEAD

THE LOUDEST ONE IS MINE

SQUIP 2. You’ll never be rid of me!

(JEREMY confronts SQUIP)

JEREMY. THE LOUDEST ONE IS MINE!!!

SQUIPS. (pathetically glitches away) Jeremyyyyyyyy………… pleeeeaaaaasssseeeee…….