Psy 437: Marriage and In-Laws

Identity the top 5 reasons people say they marry

• love

• making a lifelong commitment

• companionship

• having children

• financial stability

Explain factors related to arrange marriages

• elder wisdom: the older individuals in the family have a better sense of lifelong commitment to

• lineage & family status

• benefit: no rejection in dating

Explain what a common-law marriage is

a legal marriage without a formal ceremony or a license in which the couple plans to formally get married in the future but have certain aspects to prioritize such as finances and cohabitation

Explain legal factors that change after getting married

• assets

• - property

• - retirement benefits

• - “next of kin” inheritance

• - alimony

• taxes

• - different rate brackets

• - larger standard deduction

• - none of spousal gifts

• healthcare

• - decision-making authority

• - hospital visitation rights

• - HIPPA helps spouse grant access to their spouse’s medical record

Explain what Financial Infidelity is

the idea of one partner using money in terms that were on agreed upon

Differentiate between flexibility and cohesion in family type and how these relate to marriage

flexibility > could be very rigid/structured and chaotic

• leadership, discipline roles

cohesion > together very disengaged/separate

• interdependency, connected

Identify top 4 reasons people say they have children

• finding the right partner to have children with

• joy of children

• adequate financial resources

• spouse’s or partner’s wishes

Identify examples of the 4 reactions to finding out having children

• planner partners: both spouses discussed it and want to have children

• acceptance of fate: pleasant surprise

• ambivalent partners: both partners don’t want to have children

• yes-no partners: one partner says yes while the other says no

Identify examples of the 4 decision types of couples becoming “child-free”

accelerated consensus: both partners both agree that they don’t want to have kids early on in their relationship; both partners came into the relationship both not wanting to have children

mutual negotiation: both partners had not made a decision of wanting to have children, both communicate the pros and cons of having kids, experience times of uncertainty about wanting children

unilateral persuasion: one spouse is committed to being childfree and convinces the undecided partner to not have kids

bilateral persuasion: both partners disagree completely, one wants to have kids while the others doesn’t which causes heated communication and turmoil

Explain factors related to the “empty nest” period

• feelings of malaise

• feeling like there is a lack of purpose

• or feeling that the nest is “spacious”

boomerang kids: kids move back in with their parents after moving out for a period of time

Identify factors related to changes in marital satisfaction

• the honeymoon period: lovey-dovey period of intense levels of love

• having their first child

• having the second child

• the last child leaves the home

• retirement

Explain how in-law relationships are different than other relationships

secondhand self-disclosure: learning about the in-laws before meeting them and getting to know them

lack of choice with in-laws

mothers are name first then the father and after that the siblings

spilt between 50/50 for positive and negative relationship with in-laws

Explain what impacts relationship quality with in-laws

• contact with the spouses

• individual contact (so partner doesn’t have to reach out for them)

• generally positive relationship with in-laws

• complaints about the son or daughter in-law are due to the in-laws reporting that they are distant and inconsiderate

• complaints about the mother or father-in-law typically lie in that they are meddlesome, critical or nagging about the marriage, and can be possessive in regard to their child or grandchildren