Crimes of the Heart Meg Lines

Babe: …Look, here’s a picture of me when I got married.

Meg: Let’s see.

Babe: I was just eighteen

Meg: You're smiling, Babe. Were you happy then?

Babe: Yes you are. You’re beautiful.

Meg: I’m not—

Lenny: Look, Meg’s starting to cry.

Babe: Oh, Meg—

Meg: I’m not—

Lenny: Why, it’s Daddy.

Meg: Where’d you get that picture, Babe? I thought she burned them all.

Lenny: Well, will you look at that smile.

Meg: Jesus, those white teeth— turn the page, will you; we can’t do any worse than this!

Babe: …she wouldn’t have gotten all that national coverage.

Meg, after a moment, hopelessly: Why are we talking about this?

Babe: We used up one whole big box of Kleenexes.

Meg: And then Old Granddaddy came in and said he was gonna take us out to breakfast. Remember, he told us not to cry anymore ‘cause he was gonna take us to get banana splits for breakfast.

Babe: That’s right— banana splits for breakfast!

Meg: Why, Lenny was 14 years old, and he thought that would make it all better—

Babe: … he kept shoving them down us!

Meg: God, we were so sick!

Lenny: Oh, we were!

Meg, laughing: Lenny’s face turned green—

Lenny: Oh, she was!

Meg: The thing about Old Granddaddy is, he keeps trying to make us happy, and we end up getting stomachaches and turning green and throwing up in the flower arrangements.

Babe: Oh, Lenny! Oh, Meg!

Meg: Oh, Babe! Oh, Lenny! It’s so good to be home!

Babe: Oh, let’s do!

Meg: All right!

Babe: I know! I’ll fix us up some popcorn and hot chocolate—

Meg, getting up: Here, let me get out that old black popcorn pot.

Babe: Gosh, I hope I remember all the rules— are hearts good or bad?

Meg: Bad, I think. Aren’t they, Lenny?

Lenny: That’s right. Hearts are bad, but the Black Sister is the worst of all—

Meg: Oh that’s right! And the Black Sister is the Queen of Spades.

Babe: And spades are the black cards that aren’t puppy dog feet?

Meg, thinking a moment: Right. And she counts a lot of points.

Babe: And points are bad?

Meg: Right. Here, I’ll get some paper so we can keep score.

Lenny: Oh, here they are!

Meg: I’ll get it—

Babe: Oh, let me see!

Meg: Hello… No, this is Meg MaGrath… Doc. How are you? Well, good… You’re where?… Well, sure. Come on over… Sure I’m here… Yeah, come right on over… All right. ‘Bye. She hangs up That was Doc Porter. He’s down the street at Al’s Grill. He’s gonna come on over.

Lenny: He is?

Meg: He said he wanted to come see me.

Lenny: Oh. Well, do you still want to play?

Meg: No, I don’t think so.

Lenny: You know, it’s really not much fun playing hearts with only two people.

Meg: I’m sorry; maybe after Doc leaves I’ll join you.

Lenny: I know; maybe Doc’ll want to play. Then we can have a game of bridge.

Meg: I don’t think so. Doc never liked cards. Maybe we’ll just go out somewhere.

Lenny: Meg—

Meg: What?

Lenny: Well, Doc’s married now.

Meg: I know. You told me.

Lenny: Oh. Well, as long as you know that. As long as you know that.

Meg, still primping: Yes, I know. She made the pot.

Lenny: Ah, Meg, could I— could I ask you something?

Meg: What?

Lenny: I just wanted to ask you—

Meg: What?

Lenny: Well, just why did you take one little bite out of each piece of candy in this box and then just put it back in?

Meg: Oh. Well, I was looking for the ones with nuts.

Lenny: The ones with the nuts?

Meg: Yeah.

Lenny: But there are none with nuts. It’s a box of Assorted Crèmes, not nuts! Besides, this was a birthday present to me!

Meg: I’m sorry. I’ll get you another box.

Lenny: I don’t want another box. That’s not the point!

Meg: What is the point?

Lenny: …while Babe and I only had three apiece?!

Meg: Oh, God! She’s starting up about those stupid jingle bells!

Lenny: Well, it’s an example! A specific example of how you always got what you wanted! 

Meg: Oh, come on, Lenny, you’re just upset because Doc called. 

Lenny: … why, I’ve long since given up worrying about you and all your men.

Meg, turning in anger: Look, I know I’ve had too many men. Believe me, I’ve had way too many men. But it’s not my fault you haven’t had any— or maybe just that one from Memphis. 

Lenny: What one from Memphis?

Meg, slowly: The one Babe told me about. From the— club.