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Positive Psychology
If we study what is merely average we will remain merely average
How is the positive psychology different from previous approaches
Finding its not necessarily the reality that shapes us but the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality, and if we can change the lens not only can we change your happiness we can change every single educational and business outcome at the same time
How does Happiness relate to performance and achievement according to Shawn Achor?
Harvard – brains were not focused on the privilege of being there but the competition, the workload, stresses
Only 25% of job successes are predicted by IQ, 75% of job successes are predicted by your optimism levels, your social support, and your ability to see stress as a challenge instead of as a threat
Every time your brain has a success you just changed the goalpost of what success looked like – if happiness is on the other side of success then your brain never gets there – pushed happiness over the cognitive horizon
Our brains work oppositely – if you can raise somebody’s level of positivity in the present, then their brain experience a happiness advantage – brain at positive performs significantly better than negative, neutral or stresses
Happiness
The experience of joy, contentment or positive well being combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile
Definition is person centered, we all get to define what happiness is for us
Myths of happiness and why not supported
1. Happiness must be found – exists in something out there; once you get there you’ll have happiness – job, partner, graduating, moving, etc ----- why not? We create pur own happiness
2. Happiness is in changing our circumstances – if the circumstances of our life would change then we would be happy ---- again we create our happiness so we must change our circumstances
3. You have it or you don’t – genetically hardwired for our happiness, we can’t change it, ---- creating our own happiness
happiness myths problematic
We create our own happiness and these are myths that promote societal expectations, shift the blame onto genetics, and make excuses for why we cannot be happy when we create it ourselves
50-40-10 Happiness Pie
Genetics 50%,Intentional Activity 40%, Circumstances 10%,
Hedonic Adaptation
Tendency for humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness, despite major positive or negative events or life changes
Hedonic Adaptation contributors
social comparison and rising expectations
hedonic adaptation combat
Intentionality – change up activities to keep it fresh and with Len
be mindful of and try to notice things that make you happy
Burnout in Americans
Average employed americans work 46.2 hours more per week than most developed countries and over 1/3 average americans do not take the holiday time they are allowed. General trend of burnout between 23% report always feeling burnt-out and 44% sometimes, 45-66% of American physicians experience burnout.
Juliet Schor argument for consumption and materialism
Technological advance? If we use it to produce more we are going to continue to put really heavy and unsustainable pressure on the environment. Countries who have longer hours of work have a much higher carbon footprint and that the countries that have succeeded in using some of that technological improvement to reduce their hours of work have actually been able to reduce their carbon footprints along with it
Schor;s principles for controlling consumerism
Workers choose their hours, employers set the hours. Prefer higher rates of production and economic growth. Will they get more free time or be asked to produce more?
Three ways activities FIT with a person
Source of Happiness - Worried or traumatized → coping, therapeutic writing, optimism
One’s Strengths - Introverted → mindfulness or gratitude
One’s Lifestyle - Little time to do things → simple activities you can fit in ie count your blessings
what is meant by the phrase, “If you always do what you always did…you’ll always get what you’ve always got”?
Nothing will change if nothing changes, so you need to put in the work to make that change to allow yourself betterment
Intrinsic vs extrinsic - HapGoal
For you, is authentic, fits your personality and who you want to be…. VS… not for society, family or others
Approach vs Avoidance- HapGoal
Good approach is I want to be stronger VS bad approach I want to be smaller ---- frame goals as approachable goals
Harmonious vs Competing - HapGoal
Don’t let goals compete with other aspects in your lifestyle negatively
Feasible yet stretching - HapGoal
Will be an effort but flexible enough
Activity (process) vs Circumstances (end result) - HapGoal
going through the motions and making progress towards your goals vs only seeing the end result
Flexible vs Rigid - HapGoal
being flexible with your goals and not having such a sturdy direction will make it more approachable and feasible
Why hapgoals are important to happiness
happiness comes from pursuing goals rather than just achieving them
Gratitude
Gratitude is a felt sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life
Research on gratitude
Less likely to be depressed, anxious, lonely, envious, neurotic
Why gratitude boosts happiness
Promotes savoring experiences, bolsters self-esteem and worth, helps cope with stress/trauma, encourages moral behavior, cultivates social bonds, inhibits envy, comparison, diminishes anger and bitterness, can counteract hedonic adaptation
Activities to be more grateful
Gratitude journal/lists, directly expressing gratitude
Optimism
Looking on the positive side; celebrating the present and past and anticipating a bright future
how optimists view and see events
tend to believe good things are due to their skills/abilities and will last long term
how pessimists view and see events
tend to believe that good things are due to luck and short terms
how optimists are guided in their behaviors
Bad things are temporary or due to bad luck
how pessimists are guided in their behavior
bad things are due to something they did and are likely long term
Modern neuroscience for how we actually see and perceive
We can only notice and process roughly .0005% of information in any given moment – only can process about 5% of meaningful information each day
How does optimism boost happiness
making out the positive side of the situation
how to cultivate optimism
Track and check off goals, vision/goal boards, goal list, encouragement and support groups, identifying barrier thoughts – replace pessimistic thoughts, be generous with perceptions
Rumination
thinking too much, needlessly, passively, endlessly and excessively pondering the meanings, causes, and consequences of your character, your feelings, and your problems
co-rumination
when overthinking becomes communicative, endlessly process with others either about ourselves or about situations/other people, related to complaining
social comparison
comparison of oneself to others, usually related to some general quality
Impact of rumination and social comparison
Rumination is linked to sustained negative mood, negatively based thinking, impaired judgement and problem solving, lower motivation, and lower concertation and initiative
Social comparison: upwards comparisons lead to feelings of inferiority, distress, and loss of self-esteem;
how does rumination and social comparison impact happiness
R: lead to feelings of powerlessness, being self critical, pessimistic, and negatively biased; very powerful negative impact
S: leaves you feeling vulnerable, threatened, and insecure
how does rumination and social comparison disort reality
R: typically far extends a distorted view of reality
S: has a very limited and skewed view on others’ reality
strategies to battle rumination and social comparison
Gratitude and positive thinking can combat these by refocusing us on the good and shaping our view of reality
1. Distract yourself with things you love
2. Ruminate mindfully – specific time each day, worry timer, close friend, journaling, STOP method (stop, take a breath, observe, proceed)
3. Take action – what can you fo
4. Dodge triggers and situations – where do you usually tend to ruminate or exchange in social comparison
5. Reflect on the big picture
Prosocial behavior
Voluntary behavior to benefit others, actions that benefit others or society as a whole
Helping, sharing, donating, cooperating, volunteering, etc. – motivated by empathy, concern for others
kindness link with emotional contagion
Through mimicry and feedback people can “catch” each others emotions
how do acts of kindness create happiness
Provides a sense of interdependence, awareness of one’s good fortune, distracts from rumination, improves self-perception, cascade of positive social aspects
considerations for maximal impact on happiness from kindness
impact on self-perception, sense of confidence, optimism, usefulness, positive social consequences
Whole hearted people have
Courage to be imperfect, compassion to ourselves then to others, connection, as a result of authenticity, vulnerability
Can’t “selectively numb emotions” and how it affects relationships
when we numb pain and vulnerability, we numb joy and happiness
happier people mean better relationships
happiness and quality relationships
They benefit socially with social support, advice, information, opportunity, and increased affection
Affection
good to get and to give
highly affectionate people are
Happier, more self-assured, less fearful of intimacy, less likely to be stressed, depressed, better overall mental health, socially outgoing, more satisfied with relationships
how to cultivate and nurture relationships
1. Time/Rituals
2. Gratitude, appreciation, affection,
3. Take delight in other’s good fortune,
4. support others dreams and goals,
5. Constructively deal with conflict,
6. Ask for help --- do small things, be present, turn towards each other, listen well
Coping
alleviates the hurt of stress, hurt and suffering
Problem focused coping
actively doing something, creating a plan of action
Emotion focused coping
recognizing, validating, and processing emotions
post traumatic growth
one’s ability to not only recover from hardship, but emerge even stronger
strategies for coping
Importance of Social Support
Finding Meaning
Pennebaker’s Expressive Writing Paradigm
Pennebaker Expressive Writing paradigm
ABCDE method:
Adversity – what happened;
Belief – what story do you tell;
Consequence – consequence for you;
Disputation – challenge the negative belief;
Energize – consider optimistic interpretations and explanations for this problem
How does the writing paradigm help deal with stress
each step is designed to move you through catharsis and cognitive processing
Forgiveness
Is the decision to transcend resentment and let go of the desire to do harm towards the transgressor
Forgiveness misconceptions
Is weakness, is about approving their wrongdoings, means we cannot participate in restitution, requires that you must forget the harm, the same as reconciliation
forgiveness and reconciliation differences
Reconciliation is the process of rebuilding a relationship after a breakup or fallout --- you may forgive someone but not be reconciled or vise versa
why is forgiveness important within the context of our happiness
it is something we do for ourselves
why might communicating forgiveness be important related to happiness
Provide closure and has positive consequence for the relationship, can lead to behavior change and improve the relationship,