CFS100 Nurture Shock Ch.4

Why Kids Lie

What is the myth described?

• Parents believe they can tell when their child is lying

  • Children do not naturally grow out of lying; they grow into it

Talwar’s Video Experiment

• Videotaped children & had them tell one true & one fabricated story about bullying

  • participants had to determine which was false

Talwar’s Video Experiment Results

• Most people, including parents, teachers, & even police officers, perform no better than chance at detecting children's lies

Talwar’s "Peeking Game" Experiment

• Children are told not to peek at a toy while left alone

  • most peek & lie when asked about it

What did Talwar discover about lying & child development?

• Lying is a sign of cognitive development (smarter kids tend to lie earlier & more effectively)

• Lying becomes more sophisticated with age

  • By 4, most kids lie, & by 6, they get better at covering it up

Talwar’s Moral Story Experiment

• "George Washington & the Cherry Tree" reduced lying because it framed honesty as a positive virtue rather than focusing on punishment

Parents unintentionally teach children to lie:

• White lies in social situations (ex: complimenting bad food)

• Discouraging tattling teaches kids to withhold the truth

Lying is a Developmental Milestone

• Children who lie earlier tend to be more cognitively advanced

• Lying often reflects intelligence & social skills

Increased punishment makes children better liars:

• Harsh consequences teach kids to be more careful with their lies, not to stop lying

Recommendations

• Encourage truthfulness by rewarding honesty instead of focusing on punishment

  • ex: “If you tell the truth, I will be really happy”