Don’t Touch Your Television Set

STEVEN: I’m off to work honey!

I’m so sorry Steven! I must have dozed off…

STEVEN: It’s all those magazines you read. I'll be back around 5:00, I'm expecting a marvelous dinner.

Of course. Have a good day at work honey!

—Dining table—

So deary, how was work today?

STEVEN: Well Arthur is going on vacation to San Francisco in a couple of weeks.

Really, with his new wife?

STEVEN: Yes her, the ginger one.

She’s too young.

STEVEN: So I’ll be running the office while he’s gone.

Oh how exciting! Well, I heard on the radio today there's going to be a new broadcast starting on the ABC channel. Also, there’s something wrong with the radio, it started playing this weird channel with these weird voices...

—Pause—

Did you hear what I said Steven…Steven?

STEVEN: So what do I say now?

…Steven?

STEVEN: I don’t have a god damn line to say!

Language Steven!

STEVEN: You gave me an unfinished fucking script! So what I'm supposed to make up lines? Jesus man, can I just get a normal role for once.

Steven, who are you talking to?

STEVEN: EXCUSE ME? Did you just say I was a bad actor? NO! Don't try to cover it up!

Steven…

STEVEN: SCREW THIS!

*SCREAM*

STEVEN: What’s wrong honey?

What is wrong with you?

STEVEN: With me? What do you…Oh my, it seems I made a mess.

*Stare, confused, startled, yadayadayada*

—Living room, day—

He just started talking to no one saying these strange things. He said he was an "actor" or something. He's never done anything like that then he just throws his food in the air!

*THUD*

Sorry Sarah, I think I'll have to call you back.

RE-CAST STEVEN: Honey, I’m home!

Steven, what is this…Who the hell are you?

RE-CAST STEVEN: Audrey, it’s me, Steven! What’s that in your hand?

You’re not Steven! WHO ARE YOU?

RE-CAST STEVEN: Audrey, what’s going on?

Oh my god…

RE-CAST STEVEN: Honey, what’s going on?

GET AWAY FROM ME! This is, this is all mad! There's been weird things happening, and I think its all been trying to tell me something...

RE-CAST STEVEN: Audrey, I think you need a doctor-

In one of the science fiction stories I read—

RE-CAST STEVEN: Science fiction?

A person realizes that they are inside a different reality. It’s like they just shifted without knowing, and I think that's whats happened to me...

RE-CAST STEVEN: Audrey…YOU NEED HELP.

NO NO! LISTEN TO ME! SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING! THEY REPLACED YOU, SOMEONE IS CONTROLLING EVERYTHING!

RE-CAST STEVEN: YOU'RE INSANE. This is why women shouldn't be aloud to read those science fiction horror stories and watch those violent moving pictures. YOU PEOPLE CAN'T HANDLE IT. And if I'm being honest Audrey... YOU WERE NEVER A GOOD HOUSEWIFE.

YOU’RE EVIL!!!!!

*Smash radio on R-CS’ head*

I’ve done, EVERYTHING FOR YOU!

*Punches*

YOU’RE NOT EVEN MY HUSBAND!!!

*Aspect ratio switch, camera stare*

What is this?

ROBERT: I think you know.

Who…are you?