L10: Attraction and the need to belong

What is the "need to belong"?

A psychological need to form and maintain strong, stable interpersonal relationships, necessary for survival and well-being.

What happens when the need to belong is unmet?

Mental and physical health decline, increased mortality, loneliness, and reliance on unhealthy coping mechanisms.

How is the need to belong measured?

Through self-report questionnaires and experimental tasks like Cyberball to simulate exclusion.

Why is belonging considered a psychological need?

It regulates behavior to secure resources crucial for survival and mental health.

What is loneliness?

A subjective feeling of being deprived of social connection, even if surrounded by others.

What are effects of loneliness?

Poor health outcomes, reduced self-control, increased alcohol use, and even increased risk of death.

What is social rejection?

Being deliberately excluded or discriminated against by others, which undermines the need to belong.

How does loneliness relate to alcohol use?

Excluded individuals in studies (e.g., Cyberball) drank more alcohol, especially those who drink to reduce anxiety.

What is Cyberball?

A simulated online ball-toss game used to study social exclusion and its effects on emotions and behavior.

What does Cyberball demonstrate?

Social exclusion leads to psychological distress, increased alcohol consumption, and poorer self-regulation.

How does paracetamol affect social pain?

It reduces brain activation in areas linked to physical pain (insula, anterior cingulate cortex) when socially rejected.

What does this suggest about social pain?

Social pain activates similar brain regions as physical pain, indicating an innate biological reaction to rejection.

What is the propinquity (proximity) effect?

The tendency to form relationships with people we encounter frequently or are physically close to.

Why is proximity important in relationships?

It increases familiarity, which fosters liking and potential attachment.

How does the mere exposure effect support relationship formation?

Familiarity through repeated exposure leads to increased comfort and positive feelings toward others.

What is transference in relationships?

The redirection of feelings for one person onto another who resembles them in some way.

What is attitude similarity?

The idea that people are attracted to others who share similar beliefs, values, and interests.

How does physical attractiveness influence attraction?

People tend to form relationships with those they find physically attractive, which is often culturally shaped.

What is the halo effect?

The assumption that physically attractive people possess other socially desirable traits.

How do gender differences affect attraction and sexual attitudes?

Men often prioritize physical attractiveness, while women may prioritize resource availability and emotional connection, though context matters.

What is a parasocial relationship?

A one-sided relationship where one person feels a bond with a media figure or celebrity who is unaware of their existence.

What are the three main types of attachment?

Secure: Comfortable with intimacy and independence. Anxious: Craves closeness but fears abandonment. Avoidant: Struggles with intimacy and prefers emotional distance.

How does proximity influence attraction?

Being near someone increases familiarity and comfort, making attraction more likely—if the initial perception is neutral or positive.

Why do familiar people feel safer to us over time?

Repeated exposure reduces uncertainty; we learn behavioral patterns and feel less defensive.

What is the reward model of liking?

We like people who are associated with positive experiences and avoid those linked to negative ones.

What is misattribution of arousal?

When we incorrectly attribute our internal states (e.g., anxiety, excitement) to people around us rather than the true cause.

What is transference in social psychology?

Projecting feelings from someone we know onto a new person who resembles them in some way.

How does attitude similarity influence attraction?

Sharing attitudes validates our beliefs and strengthens attraction.

What types of similarity often exist in close relationships?

Similarity in attitudes, socioeconomic status, age, location, ethnicity, and personality.

Is actual or perceived similarity more important in relationships?

Perceived similarity is more predictive of attraction and relationship satisfaction than actual similarity.

Do opposites attract?

Sometimes—especially in short-term relationships or in domains like dominance or financial habits.

What is the norm of reciprocity in attraction?

We tend to like people who like us; it boosts self-esteem and satisfies psychological needs.

When is flattery most effective?

When it appears sincere and the person giving it seems selective in their compliments.

Why is physical attractiveness important in social interactions?

It is rewarding to look at, influences judgments, and plays a major role in dating and social evaluation.

Why are "average" faces rated as more attractive?

They are perceived as healthier and more genetically fit, according to evolutionary theory.

How did Todorov et al. (2005) demonstrate the influence of attractiveness on perceived competence?

Participants judged more attractive political candidates as more competent, influencing mock election results.

How does the Halo Effect influence perceptions of infants and children?

Attractive infants receive more attention and care; attractive children are seen as more intelligent and preferred by peers.

Do attractive people benefit legally?

Yes, attractive defendants are less likely to be found guilty.

What traits are genuinely associated with attractive people?

Outgoing, popular, and socially skilled—but not higher in self-esteem or life satisfaction.

What influences the stereotype of attractiveness?

Culture, history, and self-fulfilling prophecies.

Do men and women benefit equally from attractiveness?

Yes, meta-analyses show equal positivity in treatment.

How does culture shape views of attractiveness?

Through media, stories, and social interactions emphasizing good vs. bad looks.

Is there cultural variation in attractiveness norms?

Yes, attractiveness standards vary by culture and over time.

Why are average faces attractive?

They signal good health and mating potential (evolutionary psychology).

What is a composite face?

A digital average of multiple faces; more faces = more attractive.

What did Buss & Schmitt find about men and women across 37 cultures?

Men prioritize physical attractiveness more than women; women value financial status more.

What physical traits do women prefer in men?

Masculine features during ovulation; large eyes, small nose, full lips, etc.

What traits do men prefer in women?

0.7 waist-to-hip ratio, younger age, and features signaling fertility.

What do both genders value most in a partner?

Kindness, dependability, humor, and pleasant disposition.

How do men and women differ in sexual attitudes?

Men: casual sex, early interest, regret not pursuing. Women: sex as intimacy, more ambivalence, less regret about abstaining.

What are key criticisms of attraction research?

Focus on evolutionary theory, heterosexual/cisnormative bias, small gender effect sizes, reliance on self-report.

What are the 6 components of closeness?

Interdependence, mutuality, commitment, knowledge, caring, trust.

Define interdependence.

One person's actions significantly influence the other over time.

Define mutuality.

Seeing the relationship as "us" rather than two individuals.

What are parasocial relationships?

One-sided emotional bonds with media figures (e.g., celebrities, podcast hosts).

Which components can parasocial relationships include?

Knowledge, caring, commitment—but lack interdependence.

What is the Social Exchange Model?

An economic view that people seek relationships based on self-interest (costs vs. benefits).

What is attachment theory?

The idea that early bonds with caregivers influence adult romantic relationships.

What are the 3 main attachment styles?

Secure, anxious-ambivalent, avoidant.

How do scholars define romantic love?

Intense feelings of preoccupation, joy in reunion, despair in separation.

What does neuroscience say about love?

Love activates dopamine (reward) systems in the brain.

What is the Self-Expansion Model?

Love helps expand the self through closeness with a partner.

How does terror management theory view romantic relationships?

As buffers against mortality awareness—giving life meaning and a sense of transcendence.

What are Murstein's 3 relationship stages?

1. Stimulus (physical attraction) 2. Value (shared beliefs/attitudes) 3. Role (defining roles in the relationship)

What are positive illusions?

Idealized perceptions of a partner that help early bonding but may lead to heartbreak.

How does satisfaction change in relationships over time?

Initial increase, dip during turbulence, then gradual rise or decline.

What is the relational turbulence model?

Conflicts spike in young adulthood due to personal/career development.

What factors contribute to marital dissatisfaction?

Unrealistic expectations, decreased affection, parenting stress, magnified issues.

How do cultural values affect divorce rates?

More individualistic cultures tend to have higher divorce rates.

What 3 factors determine commitment in Rusbult's theory?

Satisfaction, investments, and perceived alternatives.

Who is more likely to leave an unfulfilling relationship?

People with secure attachment styles.

What evidence supports the idea that belonging is a psychological need?

Like hunger or thirst, people experience distress when their need to belong isn't met and feel better when it is satisfied.

How does the need to belong function like a biological need?

It operates on a principle similar to homeostasis—deficiency leads to motivation until the need is met.

Can the need to belong be satisfied in flexible ways?

Yes, people can form substitute bonds (e.g., prisoners forming surrogate families) if primary relationships are unavailable.

What are the benefits of satisfying the need to belong?

Higher self-esteem, happiness, better mental and physical health, stronger immune function, and longer life.

What is the evolutionary explanation for the need to belong?

Early humans who formed social bonds were more likely to survive, reproduce, and care for offspring, passing on social traits.

What evidence supports an evolutionary basis for belonging?

Universality of relationships, innate affiliative behavior in infants, pain of rejection, and reproductive success through close bonds.

How does rejection affect people psychologically and physically?

It increases vulnerability to stress, depression, and physical illness; can even lead to early death.

What brain area is activated by social rejection, similar to physical pain?

The anterior cingulate cortex.

Why might rejection cause physical pain?

Evolutionarily, pain may have motivated early humans to restore social bonds for survival.

What are some extreme responses to rejection?

Substance abuse, remaining in unhealthy relationships, or experiencing long-term psychological damage.

Is loneliness the same as being alone?

No. People can be alone without feeling lonely, but prolonged isolation often leads to loneliness.

What are some effects of loneliness?

Depression, eating disorders, weakened immune system, and increased risk of schizophrenia.

How can people combat loneliness?

Reaching out to others, connecting virtually, and even receiving physical affection like hugs.

How significant is loneliness to physical health?

It is as harmful as smoking or obesity in predicting health outcomes.

What is proximity and why is it important in relationship formation?

Proximity refers to the physical nearness of others. It increases the likelihood of forming relationships due to increased opportunities for interaction and exposure.

What is the mere exposure effect?

The mere exposure effect is the phenomenon where repeated exposure to a person or stimulus increases our liking for them.

How does proximity influence attraction according to Festinger et al. (1950)?

People were more likely to form friendships with those in nearby apartments, highlighting that even random physical proximity predicts attraction.

What is the Reward Model of Liking?

A model suggesting we like people associated with positive experiences and dislike those linked to negative experiences, often through classical conditioning.

What is transference in the context of attraction?

Transference is when feelings for a known person are transferred to someone new who resembles them in some way.

How do culturally valued traits affect attraction?

People are attracted to others with traits or achievements their culture values, which can enhance their own self-esteem through association.

What is the halo effect in attractiveness?

The halo effect is the tendency to attribute positive traits (like intelligence or kindness) to someone based on their physical attractiveness.

How do gender differences manifest in attraction preferences?

Men tend to prioritize physical attractiveness, which is linked to perceived fertility, while women may consider other traits like resources and stability.

What role does attitude similarity play in attraction?

People are more attracted to those with similar attitudes and values, especially when those attitudes are uncommon or unique.

How accurate are people's self-reported attraction preferences?

Self-reported preferences often reflect cultural norms and are poor predictors of actual attraction, as shown in speed-dating studies.

Why do people like those who fulfill psychological needs?

We are drawn to individuals who validate our worldview and self-esteem, including those who are similar to us, reciprocate liking, or flatter us.

What predicts liking in initial attraction?

Sexual and aesthetic appeal.

How are attractive people typically perceived?

They are stereotyped to have positive traits.

What facial characteristics are commonly rated as more attractive?

Composite and symmetrical faces.

Why might symmetrical faces be considered attractive?

They may reflect good health or familiarity.