interpersonal exam 1

How do intimate relationships differ from non-intimate ones?

-Knowledge of each other
-Care about each other
-Mutuality "we" not "I"
-Trust expect fair, honest treatment
-Commitment
-Interdependence

Interdependence

-Mutual dependence between things. Inter- means "between," so interdependence is dependence between things.
-Our behavior affects us and our partner

Mutuality

-Mutual character, quality, or activity
-"We" not "I"

Why do theorists hypothesize we have the human need to belong?

-We need fulfillment, to include, and to be included
-Health implications, psychological and physical like the lack of confidants is a bigger health risk than smoking!

How are human connection to others and intimacy related to mortality rates? Physical and mental health? Pain perception? Healing of physical wounds?

People who are in happier intimate relationships generally:
-Live longer
-Have stronger immune systems
-Heal quicker
People coping with congestive heart failure who were in more satisfied relationships were more likely to be alive when researchers followed up on them four years later: 30% of the patients in happy relationships died vs. 55 percent of the patients in unhappy relationships.

Be familiar with the research on hand holding and threat (Coan, et al., 2006, page 4), as well as the Coyne, et al., 2001 (figure 1 on page 6) examining quality of marital relationships and mortality rates.

Coan: Hand holding reduces the brain's alarm in response to threatening situations.

Coyne: The figure showed those who had cancer over the course of 4 years. The more happy a couple was, the longer the patient lived and vice versa

How has our culture changed in the last 30 years in ways that would be significant for interpersonal relationships? Be aware of the hypothesized sources of this change (pages 11-14)

The sex ratio has changed in the last 30 years as well as communication, technology (women can control their fertility and when to get pregnant) and education and financial resources allow people to be more independent so women are less likely to marry now. We are more disconnected to the people we are physically with and connected with the people online

How does culture have the potential for influencing our relationships? Be aware of the hypothesized sources of this change (pages 11-14)

When the sex ratio (a count of the number of men for every 100 women in a population) is high, there are more men than women; when it is low, there are fewer men than women.
-When the sex ratio is high, women tend to support traditional, old-fashioned roles for men like staying at home taking care of the children while the men go outside and work. The bride is a virgin when newly wedded, no shameful unwed pregnancy, open cohabitation is rare, and divorce is discouraged.
-When the sex ratio is low, it's less traditional and more permissive. Women have high paying carreers, allowed to have sexual relationships outside of marriage, and unmarried motherhood is an option.

On average, how do cohabiting relationships differ from marriages (page 9-10)?

-Cohabitation increases a couple's risk that they will later divorce. Some reasons are that they are less committed to each other than are those who marry because their options are open making them more uncertain, face more problems and conflict. The longer people cohabit, the less enthusiastic about marriage and more accepting of divorce they become.

-The longer a couple is married, the less likely they are to ever divorce. Couples who are engaged to marry when they move in together do not suffer like the ones that cohabit especially when they agree that they'll marry within a year.

Be familiar with the Guttentag and Secord (pg 11-14) theory regarding sex ratios. With regard to sex ratios, when are societies typically more conservative?

When the sex ratio is high, societies are more conservative and more traditional. This can be for sexually conservative as well.

What type of society do we currently have?

We have a low sex ratio because of the slut-shaming campaign/sexual revolution, women have sexual relationships outside of marriage, open cohabitation is common, and unmarried options are okay.

*Be very familiar with the 4 adult attachment styles described in class (in terms of abandonment and intimacy) (pgs 16-19).

Low avoidance of intimacy + low fear of abandonment = secure

Low avoidance of intimacy + high fear of abandonment = preoccupied

Higher avoidance of intimacy + low fear of abandonment = dismissing

Higher avoidance of intimacy + high fear of abandonment = fearful

*Is attachment style changeable?

Yes, it can be changeable like a preoccupied becoming secure when they are with another secure person and vice verse.

*How do experts believe we acquire a particular attachment style?

Experts believe we acquire a particular attachment by our temperament (traits a child is born with) and parenting.

Know the longitudinal studies of attachment and later relationships. About what % of people change attachment styles?

1/3 over a course of 2 years

How might temperament influence attachment style?

Some newborns have an easy temperament that make it easier to parent while some are fussy making it harder. The quality of parenting a baby receives can depend on his personality and behavior

With regard to individual differences, how big are typical gender differences noted in relationship science?

Large sex difference = .8
Medium sex difference = .5
Small sex difference = .2

In general, are men and women more the same or different?

Men and women are more the same

How are sex differences different from gender differences?

-Sex refers to the biological and physiological characteristics that define men and women = nature.

-Gender refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviors, activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women = nurture

*What are instrumental traits? Expressive traits? About what % of these traits are thought to be due to culture/gender roles?

Instrumental Traits:
-Task oriented traits/talents
-Traditional masculinity

Expressive Traits:
-Emotional and social traits/talents
-Traditional femininity

50% are thought to be due to culture/gender roles?

*How do traditional couples typically differ from non traditional (i.e, androgynous) couples (pg. 25) in terms of reported martial satisfaction?

Traditional couples are very different from each other since they technically do not have anything in common and have more distinct traits.
Androgynous couple possess a little bit of both instrumental and expressive traits making it easier to connect and find more things in common.

*Be familiar with the findings of the classic Ickes and Barnes(1978) study of androgynous vs. traditional couples (pgs. 25)

They paired men and women in couples in which both partners fit the traditional gender roles and another where one or both partners were androgynous. The couples were introduced and were left alone for 5 minutes while the researchers videotaped. The traditional couples talked less, looked at each other less, and laughed less than the other couples.

*According to Metts and Cupach, 1990 (pg. 23), what are the consequences of stereotypic beliefs about men and women's degree of similarity?

-It harmful because the couple will try less to fix their relationship
-More pessimistic and feel hopeless towards their relationship
-Hard for the other person to understand the other's point of view
-Prevent collaborative problem solving

Are gender expectations stricter for females or males?

Males!
If a guy is too feminine, people worry whereas girls can be tomboys and no one says anything.

*What are the Big 5? KNOW the order of the most to least important of these traits with regard to interpersonal relationships.

1. Neuroticism = personality of being emotional
2. Agreeableness = reflects much individuals adjust their behavior to suit others
3. Conscientiousness = personality trait of being honest and hardworking
4. Extroversion = personality trait of seeking fulfillment from sources outside the self or in community
5. Openness to Experience = personality trait of seeking new experience and intellectual pursuits

Which one seems to have LITTLE to do with relationship success or satisfaction and which one appears to be the MOST correlated with relationship satisfaction?

Little correlation to relationship satisfaction = neuroticism

Most correlated to relationship satisfaction = openmindedness

How do people with same sex attraction differ from those with opposite sex attraction in terms of attachment styles?

-Gay men are more expressive than heterosexual men and lesbians tend to be more instrumental than other women
-More secure than heterosexual couples

On average, do same sex couples have better or worse relationships as compared to opposite sex couples?

Same sex couples have better relationships!

Is a relationship with 2 partners high in Neuroticism an extra disadvantage as compared to a relationship with only one person scoring high on Neuroticism?

2 partners high in Neuroticism is an extra disadvantage because they are more prone to anxiety, anger, pessimism, and other negative feelings. They would be on each other's throats

What about the effect of 2 partners who are high in agreeableness?

When 2 partners are high on agreeableness, they tend to be more likable, polite, compassionate, trusting, and just better lovers towards each other

Are private or public events more likely to influence self esteem?

Public events influence our self esteem more because our self-evaluations are much affected by what we think others think of us

Discuss Murray's findings regarding self esteem and relationships (pg. 30-2).

People with low self-esteem sometimes sobotage their relationships by underestimating their partners' love for them, find it hard to believe that they are loved by their partners. This results in overreaction, not being optimistic about their relationship lasting, feel worse about themselves when things go wrong and distance themselves. Relationships are more fulfilling for both partners when they both have high self-esteem. Even after 10 years of marriage, people with low self-esteem still believe their spouses love and accept them less than they really do

Why does the text hypothesize that self esteem is related to others' evaluations of us?

How we think of ourselves depend on the quality of our connection to others and those self-evalutions affect our interactions with new partners who give us more evidence of our interpersonal worth

*Discuss evolutionary psychology as it relates to interpersonal relationships. What are its 3 assumptions?

1. Sexual selection has helped make us the species we are today
2. Men and women should differ from one another only to the extent that they historically faced different reproductive dilemmas
3. Cultural influences determine whether evolved patterns of behavior are adaptive and cultural changes occur faster than evolution does

What is natural selection?

Advantages conferred on animals that cope more effectively than others with predators and physical challenges such as food shortages

What is sexual selection?

-Advantages that result in great success at reproduction, that you were able to pass on your genes
-Idea that many of our behaviors relate to this

What is parental investment?

Women choosing their mates carefully, reproduced more successfully than women who were less thoughtful and deliberate in their choices of partners

What is paternity uncertainty?

Men suffer from not completely knowing if a child is theirs or not unless he knows their partner is faithful

How does mate preference differ when considering long term vs. short term relationships?

Short Term:
Men = attracted to women who are sexually available and easy
Women = have extramarital affairs, seek sexy, charismatic, dominant men with masculine appeal

Long Term:
Men = value physical attractiveness, as they age, they marry women increasingly younger than them
Women = seek men with income, status, and resources who can provide a safe environment for their children even if they're not sexy

What are some possible downsides to relationships?

-Time consuming
-Effects your self esteem
-Baggage to carry on next relationship
-Not growing but hindering yourself
-Confuse sex with love
-Fear of abandonment

*KNOW the Awareness Wheel-its components and, given an example, be able to correctly put different examples into the wheel.

Sensory Data -
-Internal (intuition)
-External
Thoughts (subjective + bias)
Feelings
-6 basic emotions
Wants
-SOS
Actions
-Past
-Present
-Future

Where does intuition fit on the Awareness Wheel?

In the internal sensory data!

Where does interpretations, beliefs and expectations fit on the Awareness Wheel?

In thoughts

What are the 6 basic emotions?

1. Happiness
2. Sadness
3. Disgust
4. Fear
5. Anger
6. Surprise

What is the SOS on the Awareness Wheel?

SOS is in the Wants/Intentions of the wheel

S - Stakeholders = wants and desires of those that are indirectly involved with the issue
O - Others = wants and desires of those that are directly involved with the issue
S - Self = what you do and/or don't want for yourself

Differentiate between direct and indirect rewards in terms of social attraction and given an example, be able to identify a direct and an indirect reward.

Direct Rewards
-Rewards provided by the person themselves, such as affection and love
-Stronger than indirect rewards
-Example = hugging, kissing, attention, ect

Indirect Rewards
-Rewards linked to the person, such as an emotional tone of the surrounding situation
-Example = being in someone's company

How does proximity and convenience affect attraction?

-Tend to like those near us
-More rewarding to have someone convenient
-Repeated contact can impact attraction
-Proximity accentuates our feelings

Be familiar with the classic Festinger et al., (1950) research conducted at MIT.

Residents were randomly assigned to rooms. Those who lived closer to each other, were more likely to become friends than those whose rooms were further apart

Be familiar with the Moreland and Beach (1992) study on pg. 71. What basic principle of attraction does it exemplify?

-Had women attend certain classes 5-15 times during the semester. They never talked and just say there and then at the end of the semester, the students were given pictures and asked for their reactions
-It exemplified the mere exposure effect.
-The more familiar the women were, the more the students liked and were attracted to them.

*Halo Effect

What is beautiful is good," we make + first impressions of good looking

Example = We think attractive people would be intelligent, friendly, trustworthy, ect

Assimilation Effect

Idea that if you associate with an attractive person, you may pick up some of the "goodies" they get from being attractive

Example = Hanging with the new pretty girl can make you more popular

Attractiveness-Leniency Effect

More likely to give attractive people the benefit of the doubt

Examples =
-Sentences + acquittals for court are given less days
-Severity of diagnoses and days in psychiatric hospitals are less

Contrast Effect

Attractiveness can depend on what we are compared to

Example = After looking at supermodels, people give average people lower attractiveness scores

Matching Hypothesis

Idea that we end up with partners of our same attractiveness level

Example = If you're a number 6, most likely choose someone who are numbers 5-7

Mate Value

All the assets you offer in a relationship

Example =
-Men's mate value is assessed by their overall
physical fitness
-Female mate value was determined by the measure of waist-to-hip ratio

Stimulus-Value-Role Theory

3 types of info about new partners that gradually unfold over time and impact long term relationships

-Initially attracted to stimulus (age, looks)
-Then values (religion, goals, career, and beliefs)
-Lastly, roles. Share the activities to build a working relationship

Fatal Attraction

When something about a new partner that is attractive gradually becomes one of the most irritating things about that partner

Example = You think it's cute that your partner is clumsy but it soon becomes expensive and annoying when they break something

Romeo and Julie Effect

The more parents interfere with their relationship, the more love teenagers feel for their partners

Example = ME LOL

Is the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" generally supported by the psychological research? What about "familiarity breeds contempt"?

-Absence makes the heart grow fonder if the partners are committed. The more committed partners are, the more they miss each other and express their love and regard for each other. Conversations are longer, more personal and positive.

-Familiarity breeds contempt is not true

What typically happens to attraction when people who meet online get together for the first time (pg. 72-73)?

When they first meet, they are mildly disappointed. Their knowledge for each other goes up but their perceived similarity to and their liking for each other down. When we find out who our online partners actually are instead of who we thought they were, our attraction declines

What is the most common way for heterosexual couples to meet? What about same sex couples?

Heterosexual = meeting through friends

Homosexuals = online encounters

What % of visible Match.com profiles belonged to people who were currently looking for partners?

7% belonged to people who were looking for partners

*What assumptions do people make about attractive people? Do attractive people make more money than less attractive people? Are they promoted more often?

Attractive people make more money and are promoted more often than average people

Assumptions:
Interesting
Sociable
Outgoing
Good character

In general, is the saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" an accurate statement in the United States? What about in other parts of the world?

-No, because other than people's individual tastes, people generally share the same notion of who is and isn't pretty.
-Same for China, Japan, Nigeria, and India

Is ovulation associated with attractiveness? Is ovulation associated with what women find attractive in a man?

-Ovulation IS associated with attractiveness and is associated with what women find attractive in a man.

-When a woman is ovulating, she is more attractive to a rugged, manly look but the rest of the month, are more attracted to youthful boyishness

What are the most attractive waist-to-hip ratios for men and women?

For men = .9
For women = .7

Discuss scents heterosexual men find attractive (pg. 80)

-Men prefer natural scents of a pretty woman compared to a woman less attractive.
-Heterosexual men do not like the smell of gay men who release aromas that are more attractive to other gay men
-Women smell better when they are ovulating than other times of the month

Is WHR associated with fertility?

Yes, in the 0.7 range have optimal levels of estrogen and are less susceptible to major diseases such as diabetes, cardiovascular disorders and ovarian cancers

What color are women more likely to wear when they are fertile?

Pink and/or red

What factor seems to determine whether a culture finds a larger or smaller female form attractive (page 84)?

The economic well being of a country

How does ethnicity factor into what sizes men find attractive?

Black and Latino men like heavier women than white men do.

According to the text, is speed dating an effective way to find a long term relationship?

No, because you don't know much about a person in 3 minutes other than their physical appearance

What are some of the cons associated with being highly attractive?

-Being lied to
-Being rejected by the same sex peers
-Thought to be promiscuous

Be familiar with the findings of the Reis, et al., (1982) study on pg 87.

The number of times a woman talks to a man determines how attractive she thinks he is, but the number of times a man talks to a women does not influence how attractive he thinks she is

What % of variability in overall adjustment is associated with physical attractiveness (pg. 87)?

10% is associated with physical attractiveness

How likely is it for heterosexual men to ask a woman out if they don't know if she is likely to say yes?

Not likely at all, only 3%!

*Be familiar with the Bernstein, et al., (1983) study of risking rejection on pages 89.

-College men had to choose to watch a movie with very attractive woman OR watch alone (comfortably)
-Researchers varied what was playing, either the same movie was playing in both cubicles, or 2 different movies were playing in both cubicles.
-When there was the same movie playing in both cubicles, 75% watched alone while 25% tried to squeeze in with the woman due to the fear of rejection but when they played 2 separate movies, the opposite occurred

Do heterosexual women like men to initiate contact with them via opening lines? What about heterosexual men?

-Women like direct lines and not sexual or cute lines.

-Men like women making the first move, so it doesn't matter what she opens up with

Is playing hard to get typically a successful strategy (pg.91)?

No, but being selectively hard to get is: when you're difficult for everyone to catch BUT the person you're trying to attract

What is balance theory? Be able to recognize an example of this.

-When 2 people people like each other, their feelings fit together and can be said to be "balanced"
-Also true when 2 people dislike each other

Which is more accurate, "opposites attract" or "birds of a feather flock together"?

"Birds of a feather flock together"!

Discuss similarity as a variable in social attraction in general, as well as in interethnic relationships.

Do most people know their partners as well as they think they do?

No, because they don't realize their partner is changing

How does attraction to a possible significant other related to our ideal selves? Do we tend to prefer people who are more like our ideal selves? What if the other person is a lot better than we are?

We do prefer people who are more like our ideal selves and if the other person is a lot better than we are, it is a motivation for us to be better. The person may have desirable qualities that you may want to have.

Why do scientists think we find similar people so attractive?

-We like people who are like us
-It's comfortable + reassuring
-Take less thought and energy so it becomes more rewarding and easier
-Anticipate pleasant interactions with similar (self-fulfilling prophecy)

*What is psychological reactance theory? What is an example of this?

States that when people lose their freedom, they strive to regain it

What similarities appear to be the most important? Discuss the similarity of religion (pg. 96).

1. Gender roles
2. Division of housework duties
3. Religion (only if you are highly religious though)

What is complementarity? How does dominance relate to this?

Reactions that provide a good fit to our own

Example = people who are warm and agreeable are happiest when they are met with warmth and good humor in return

Discuss the role of first impressions. Are we likely to change our first impressions?

No, we are not likely to change our first impressions of someone

According to the text, what influences these "snap judgments"?

It's influenced by the fact that everyone we meet fits some category of people about whom we already hold stereotyped first impressions

*Primacy Effect

-Information we gain early in a relationship carries more weight than information gained later
-It can influence the information we seek to gain or the information we pay attention to

*Confirmation Bias

-Pursue information that confirms or verifies our first impressions
-We ignore information that does not fit our preconceptions
-In romantic relationships: often focus on our partner's strengths and ignore weaknesses

*Actor/Observer Bias

-Assign different causes to our behaviors vs. another's behavior for the same situation
-Other's behavior caused by personal, dispositional factor, our behavior to a similar situation caused by situational factors

*Self Serving Bias

-Take credit for the good things that happen to us
-Deny credit for the bad things

Do we tend to be over or under confident of our judgments?

-Overconfident
-The more we know people, this overconfidence becomes worse

Discuss self-full filling prophecies and the Curtis and Miller, 1986 study on page 123. Also know the Snyder, et al., 1977 study (pg 122)

self fulfilling prophecies is where we think something is going to come true, so our actions reflect said thing coming true, then it does end up coming true because we consciously or unconsciously altered our actions to make it come true

What is rejection sensitivity? How is it likely to play out?

Expectation that others will reject you

-People with this mind set often misinterpret others' behavior toward them
-See a snub when one was not intended
-Tend to overreact and to be overly defensive
-Tend to experience relationships as under satisfying

*What is self concept? The self enhancement and self verification motives? How do these typically play out? What does the term marriage shift refer to (pg. 126-7)?

Self concept is all of the ideas, notions, and beliefs we hold about ourselves. It is basically our self perception

Self verification motives: Talking to people who verify the beliefs we already hold about ourselves

Self enhancement: talking to people who will boost our self perception of ourself through compliments, praise

Know the different strategies for impression management and the goals of each (pgs. 129-30).

-Ingratiation (done to be liked)
Ex: Doing favors, giving compliments, being nice to others

-Self promotion (done to be respected)

-Intimidation (done to be feared)

-Supplication (done to be pitied, obtain support/help)

Describe high and low self monitors. What skills do each typically exhibit in social relationships? Which tend to have longer lasting relationships? What about more relationships?

High social monitor has a lot of friends, but not close meaningful connections. Low social monitors have fewer friends, but a closer bond to these friends and longer lasting relationships