👩‍👧 BEFORE YOU WERE MINE – Carol Ann Duffy

Context: Love not all consuming

Duffy challenges the idea that love must be self sacrificial particularly for women and questions whether maternal love should erase personal identity

Context: Life before vs after motherhood

The poem contrasts the mother’s pre maternal freedom with her post maternal constraints reframing self love as legitimate rather than selfish

Quote: “The thought of me doesn’t occur in the ballroom with a thousand eyes”

Technique Hyperbole celebrates the mother’s social vitality while the daughter’s absence highlights identity beyond motherhood

Quote: “The decade ahead of my loud possessive yell was the best one”

Technique Adjective choice as possessive acknowledges emotional intrusion complicating innocence and highlighting love’s cost

Quote: “Love is proved in the letting go”

Technique Aphorism where the declarative tone suggests certainty yet emotional context creates ambiguity leaving the poem deliberately unresolved

1 what do u compare before u were mine with

Walking Away

Theme: parent–child relationships

• Walking Away → parent letting go

• Before You Were Mine → child looking back
  Perfect pairing
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