Intimate Relationships (6,7,8,9,10) Miller

Social Exchange

Interdependence theory that offers an economic view of relationships that suggests people seek maximum reward at minimum cost.

Rewards and Costs

Outcome=Rewards-Costs

Comparison Levels CLs

Reflect expectations for interactions with others. When outcomes exceed, we are satisfied. When outcomes fall below, we are discontent.

Comparison Levels for Alternatives (CLalt)

When outcomes received exceed their comparison levels, they cant do better and are dependent on their current partner.

4 Types of Relationships

Happy & Stable, Happy & Unstable, Unhappy and Stable, Unhappy & Unstable

Approach Motivation

Leads us to seek rewards

Avoidance Motivation

Leads us to avoid costs

Approach Goals are Fulfilled

Plenty of novel, enticing rewards are present, so the relationship is passionate and invigorating

Flourishing

Many delights and few costs. (Approach & Avoidance Fulfilled)

Avoidance Goals are Fulfilled

Aggravations and annoyance are averted, so relationship is safe and secure.

Boring

Being safe but dull. (Avoidance Fulfilled, Approach Thwarted )

Approach Goals are Thwarted

A monotonous lack of stimulation makes the relationship dull and stagnant.

Distressed

Few rewards and many costs (Avoidance Thwarted, Approach Thwarted)

Avoidance Goals are Thwarted

Insecurity and discord are present, so relationship is dangerous and threatening.

Precarious

Many delights and many dangers (Approach Fulfilled, Avoidance Thwarted)

Relationship Turbulence Model

Suggests that new relationships encounter a lull when partners adjust to their new status as a couple. Marital satisfaction decreases over the 1st year.

The Nature of Interdependency

Interdependent partners have a stake in keeping each other happy. As a result, generosity toward one's partner is often beneficial to oneself.

Exchange Relationships

Governed by a desire for immediate repayment of favors.

Communal Relationships

Involve selfless concern for another's needs.

Equity

Occurs when both partners gain benefits from a relationship that are proportional to their contributions to it.

Commitment

A desire to continue a relationship, and an inclination to maintain it. (Personal, constraint, moral)

Investment Model

Satisfaction, the quality of one's alternatives, and the size of one's investments influence commitment.

Attributes of Friendship (5)

Respect, Trust, Capitalization, Social Support, Responsiveness

Dyadic Withdrawal

Occurs as people see more of a lover, they see less of their friends.

Socioemotional Selectivity Theory

Seniors aim for quality, not quantity, in their friendships.

Gender Differences in Same-Sex Friendships

Women (emotional sharing & self-disclosure), Men (shared activities)

Interdependence self-construals

Lead people to emphasize their relationships rather than their independence.

Types of Love

Intimacy, Passion, Commitment

Romantic, Passionate Love

Intimacy and passion

Companionate Love

Intimacy and commitment, deep friendship

Nonlove

Intimacy, passion, commitment are all absent. Love does not exist.

Liking

Intimacy is high but passion and commitment low.

Infatuation

Strong passion in the absence of intimacy or commitment.

Empty Love

Commitment without intimacy or passion.

Fatuous Love

Passion and Commitment

Consummate Love

Intimacy, Passion, Commitment

Why doesn't romantic love last?

Arousal, Novelty, Fantasy decreases

Attachment Styles

Intimacy, Passion, Commitment, Caring

Sexual Double Standard

Judge women having sex more harshly than men having sex.

Extradyadic Sex

Cheating

Sociosexual Orientation

The degree to which a person is comfortable having sex without love or commitment.

Good Genes Hypothesis

Women cheat to have healthy offspring

Illusion of Unique Invulnerability

"It won't happen to me." attitude

Pluralistic Ignorance

"Everyone's doing it." attitude

Relational Value

The degree to which others consider their relationships with us to valuable, important, or close.

Reactive Jealousy

When people get jealous in response to at real threat.

Suspicious Jealousy

When one's partner has not misbehaved and one's suspicions do not fit the facts at hand.

Deception

Intentional behavior that creates an impression in the recipient that the deceiver knows to be untrue.

Truth Bias

Leads them to assume that their partners are being honest with them.

Betrayals

Hurtful actions by people we trusted and from whom we did not expect such misbehavior.