Interpersonal Relations Exam 3

reappraisal

rethinking the meaning of emotionally charged events in ways that alter their emotional impact

affect labeling

putting emotions into words

alexithymia

a difficulty in identifying and talking about feelings, which can also lead to relational challenges

emotional labor

situations in which managing and event suppressing emotions are both appropriate and necessarye

emotional contagion

emotions can spread from one person to another

intrapersonal

through your own thought process

facilitative emotions

contribute to effective functioning

debilitative emotions

hinder or prevent effective performance

rumination

recurrent thoughts not demanded by the immediate environment

rational-emotive approach

the key to changing feelings is to change unproductive cognitive interpretations

self-talk

the non-vocal, internal monologue that is your process of thinking

fallacy of perfection

that a worthwhile communicator should be able to handle any situation with complete confidence and skill

fallacy of approval

go to incredible lengths to seek acceptance from others, even to the extent of sacrificing their own principles and happiness

fallacy of should

inability to distinguish between what is and what should be

fallacy of overgeneralization

occurs when a person bases a belief on a limited amount of evidence

fallacy of causation

people who believe they should do nothing that can hurt or in any way inconvenience others because it will cause undesirable feelings

fallacy of helplessness

suggests that forces beyond your control determine satisfaction in life

fallacy of catastrophic expectations

people operate on the assumptions that if something bad can happen, it probably will

social exchange theory

suggests that communicators seek out people who can provide rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs they encounter in dealing with the relationship

comparison level

the minimum standard of what behavior is acceptable

comparison level of alternatives

refers to a comparison between the rewards one receives in the present situation and those one should expect to receive in others

relational maintenance

aimed at keeping relationships operating smoothly and satisfactorily

initiating

to show that you are interested in making contact and to demonstrate that you are a person worth talking to

experimenting

small talk to find shared interests and decide if the relationship is worth pursuing

modality switching

the relationship that seemed promising in virtual reality may become less so when interacting face to face

intensifying

communicators increase their amount of contact and the breadth and depth of their self-disclosure

integrating

they begin to take on an identity as a social unit

bonding

partners make symbolic public gestures to show the world that their relationship exists and that a commitment has been made

differentiating

partners often find themselves needing to reestablish their individual identities

circumscribing

partners reduce the scope of their contact with each other

stagnating

relationship is a shell of its former self

avoiding

people in a relationship begin to create distance between each other

terminating

partnerships, friendships, and marriages can last for a lifetime, but many do deteriorate to the final stage

dialectical tensions

conflicts that arise when two opposing or incompatible desires exist simultaneously in a relationship

integration-separation dialectic

conflicting desires for connection and independence are embodied

connection-autonomy dialectic

you want to be close to others, but at the same time you seek independence

stability-change dialectic

acknowledges that stability is an important need in relationships, but that too much of it can lead to feelings of staleness

predictability-novelty dialectic

describes how stability-change dialectic operates within a relationship

conventionality-uniqueness dialectic

captures the challenges that people in a relationship face when trying to meet others' expectations while being true to themselves

expression-privacy dialectic

with the drive for intimacy, people have an equally important need to maintain some space between themselves and others

openness-closedness dialectic

the internal struggle between expression and privacy

revelation-concealment dialectic

the same conflicts between openness and privacy operate externally

denial

pretending to themselves and one another that the conflicts don't exist

compromising

the couple caught between the conflicting desires for predictability and novelty might settle for a lifestyle that is neither as predictable as one wants nor as surprise filled as the other seeks

alternate

choosing one end of the dialectical spectrum at some times and the other end on different occasions

compartmentalize

manage one area but not another

accept

move into an idea of a new way of relationship

reframeing

redefine the issue as an attractive aura of mystery

reaffirm

the dialectical tensions will never disappear

metacommunication

describe messages that refer to other messages

relational work

kind of metacommunication that focuses specifically on relationship problems

social support

helping others during challenging times by providing emotional, informational, or instrumental resources

relational transgressions

when one partner violates the explicit or implicit terms of the relationship, letting the other one down in some important way

friendship

voluntary relationship that provides social support

expectancy violations

instances when others don't behave as we assume they should-are the source of many relational problems

family

a system with two or more interdependent people bound by commitment, legal or otherwise, who have a common history and present reality and who expect to influence each other in the future

system

groups whose members interact with one another to form a whole

conversation orientation

involves the degree to which families favor and open climate of discussion on a wide array of topics

conformity orientation

refers to how much a family stresses uniformity of values, beliefs, and attitudes

family communication pattern

typical interaction process described as consensual, pluralistic, protective, or laissez-faire

boundaries

limits on family members' actions

triangular theory of love

intimacy, passion, and commitment

relational commitment

involves a promise-sometimes implied and sometimes explicit-to remain in a relationship and to make that relationship successful

love language

a particular notion of what counts as love

conflict

an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other part in achieving their goals

avoidance

occurs when people choose not to confront an issue directly

accommodation

occurs when you entirely give in to others rather than asserting your own point of view

competition

a win-lose approach to conflict that involves high concern for self and low concern for others

passive aggression

occurs when a communicator expresses dissatisfaction in a disguised manner

direct aggression

attack the position and dignity of the receiver

compromising

gives both people at least some of what they want, although both sacrifice part of their goals

collaboration

seeks win-win solutions to conflict

win-win problem solving

the goal is to find a solution that satisfies the needs of everyone involved

complementary conflict

the partners use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors

symmetrical conflict

both people use the same tactics

escalatory spiral

both partners treat each other with matching hostility, one threat and insult leads to another

de-escalatory spiral

the partners both withdraw from each other instead of facing their problems

serial arguments

repetitive conflicts about the same issue

criticism

these attacks are on a person's character

defensiveness

a reaction that aims to protect one's presenting self by denying responsibility

contempt

a contemptuous comment belittles and demands

stonewalling

occurs when one person in a relationship withdraws from the interaction, shutting down dialogue-and any chance of resolving the problem in a mutually satisfactory way

conflict rituals

unacknowledged but very real repeating patterns of interlocking behavior

communication climate

refers to the social tone of a relationship

confirming communication

to describe either direct or indirect messages that convey meaning

disconfirming

signals a lack of regard

recognition

the simple but important indication that you're aware of the other person

acknowledgement

a stronger form of confirmation than simple recongition

endorsement

means that you agree with or support another person

disagreeing message

includes two of the confirming components (recognition and acknowledgement) but says 'you're wrong'

argumentativeness

presenting and defending positions on issues while opposing positions taken by others

complaining

when communicators don't want to argue but still want to register dissatisfaction

disregard

you treat their messages as unimportant or nonexistant

phubbing

the act of snubbing others (intentionally or not) while attending to your portable device

aggressiveness

the tendency to attack another person's character, background, or identity

ostricism

'the social death penalty,' involves exclusion from a group or one-on-one interaction

face-threatening acts

messages we perceive as challenging the image we want to project

controlling communication

occurs when a sender seems to be imposing a solution on the receiver, with little regard for that person's needs or interests

problem orientation

communicators focus on finding a solution that satisfies both their own needs and those of the others involved

strategy

defense-arousing messages in which speakers hide their ulterior motives