UC Davis CMN 120 Section and EXAM #2 Reading Flashcards

How is sexual permissiveness viewed around the world? (60-63)

collectivist cultures strongly disapprove of premarital sex, whereas young adults from individualistic cultures tend to hold more permissive attitudes

How do females and males differ in sexual permissiveness? (60-63)

men tend to believe sex on the first date is acceptable in comparison to women

How have attitudes about relational sex changed over time? (60-63)

permissiveness has increased over time

What do most people feel is an important condition for sex to be perceived as acceptable? (60-63)

What is sex appeal? (63-65)

factors that render someone particularly sexually appealing & that thus prompt initial attraction

What were the qualities discussed that males, females, and different cultures perceive to be sexually appealing? (63-65)

- men want women to be attractive, interesting, confident, & intelligent

- women want men to be attractive, compassionate, interesting, & funny

What is sexual passion & how does it impact partner preferences? (65-66)

similar sex drives/styles, people want high levels of sexual passion

What is sexual history & how does it impact partner preferences? How do cultures vary? (66-67)

collectivist cultures value chastity, while individualist cultures value some sexual experience, but not so much to make someone promiscuous

What is a 'passion turning point' in a relationship? (67)

comprises of multiple events:

1. 1st kiss

2. 1st time having sex

3. 1st "I love you"

4. whirlwind phenomenon

What are the 4 general reasons & circumstances underlying the decision to have sex for the first time in a relationship? (70-73)

1. for positive affection & communication

2. for arousal & receptivity

3. for obligation & pressure

4. for circumstance

What is the most important & most commonly cited reason to have sex for the first time in a relationship? (70-73)

because of feelings of love and intimacy

What is a pathway to sexual involvement? (68)

INTIMACY!

- sexually traditional/abstaining -> low involvement

- sexually liberal -> rapid involvement

- sexually moderate -> later sex

- gradual involvement

- delayed involvement

What were the primary findings regarding sexual frequency? What groups have the highest frequency of sex & which ones have the lower frequency of sex? (70-71)

younger couples have more sex, LGBTQ+ couples have more sex

How does frequency change over time? What is the critical variable that produces the most sexual activity? (70-71)

being a couple produces the most sexual activity, people engage in less sex over time due to having kids, older age, stress, lack of interest in partner, boredom

What is the honeymoon effect? (70-71)

when rates of sexual activity are typically very high during the newlywed phase & then undergo a dramatic decrease as the couple settles into married life

What are the predictors of sexual satisfaction? (74-75)

how often the partners engage in sexual activity, if partners experience orgasm, when partners experience orgasm, ratio of rewards, costs of relationship

What is a sexual script & what are the different kinds? How does each one typically play out, & which ones are preferred? (74-75)

A sexual script is the ability to effectively communicate w/one's partner about one's sexual needs, preferences, expectations, & attitudes

Different Kinds Include:

(1) Traditional Sexual Script (man initiates w/woman)

(2) Female-dominated

(3) Egalitarian (preferred)

What are the challenges associated with sexual communication? (74-75)

being able to effectively communicate about sex and desires to one another

What was said regarding the causal relationships between sexual satisfaction & relational satisfaction? What is the 'bottom line' regarding the two? (76-77)

if you are satisfied with your relationship, you will be satisfied with the sex you're having

What do current behavioral trends & perceptions in the USA suggest regarding cohabitation? (1-2)

that people support cohabitation prior to marriage

How does cohabitation influence the decision to marry? (3)

53% of people marry the person they have cohabited with

What does cohabitation as an 'evolving' process mean? (3-4)

often a midpoint of a relationship, commitment continues to grow during cohabitation, as couples become more or less involved in the relationship

What are relationship forms & functions? And what are the forms & functions of cohabitation? (4-5)

- as a prelude to marriage

- dating-like

What is the cohabitation effect? (6)

the association between premarital cohabitation & poorer marital outcomes

What is the inertia effect? (6)

provides an explanation for why cohabitation prior to the solidification of commitment may negatively influence later relationship quality, suggests that constraints may force partners into commitments in the absence of dedication

What are relational constraints & how do they relate to the inertia effect? (6)

sharing a lease, buying household items together, owning a pet, etc.-- forces partners into commitments even if they aren't dedicated to the relationship itself

What are the differences in 'sliding' & 'deciding' to cohabitate? From a communication perspective, how do they differ? (9-10)

sliding-- those who move in together without discussing or thinking about what the transition means

deciding-- a deliberate & purposeful decision to move in together

In what ways is cohabitation ambiguous, & in what ways does it create relational uncertainty? (11)

it's an uninstitutionalized union in the U.S, devoid of socially expectations & clear norms for what the transition means about commitment

What is the impact of ambiguity & uncertainty on the cohabitating relationship? (11-12)

jealousy, reduced intimacy, lack well-defined expectations for behavior

What is the relational turbulence model, & how does it relate to the partners' perceptions of their relationship? (12-13)

provides a potentially advantageous framework for understanding how partners might navigate the demands of increased interdependence, transitions create a need to adapt to the changing interdependence, or mutually beneficial systems of behavior in order to sustain the relationship

types of families (LEC)

- family of origin (family you were born into)

- family of procreation (the family you helped to create)

- nuclear family (includes adopted children & LGBTQIA+ parents)

- extended family (cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles)

- blended family (family consisting of a couple & their children from this & all their previous relationships)

- nontraditional families (single-parented, cohabitating parents, polygamous families)

family roles (LEC)

the recurrent patterns of behavior by which individuals fulfill family functions

potential process-type roles (LEC)

- peacemaker

- scapegoat

- artistic

- reasonable

family rituals (LEC)

repetitive behaviors that have special meaning for a group or relationship, critical in spending quality time together, creating memories, & reinforcing bonds

family stories (LEC)

particular stories we hear over and over again from family members, gives families a sense of their history, what members expect from one another, & reinforce connections across different generations

family secrets (LEC)

secrets families have intentionally kept secret, that contain info the family considers private & inappropriate for sharing w/others, can be kept within families, which can often be stressful & divisive

common characteristics of friendships (LEC)

- voluntary

- peers

- governed by rules

- differ by sex

3 challenges of cross-sex friendships (LEC)

- emotional bond challenge

- potential sexual attraction challenge

- public presentation challenge

friends with benefits (LEC)

platonic friends who decide to have sex but stay friends, quite common on college campuses

FWB common rules (LEC)

- staying emotionally detached

- terms on sexual activity & safety

- communication

- secrecy

- permanence

- friendship

6 primary reasons people keep their friendships nonromantic (LEC)

1. they aren't physically attracted to their friend

2. their relatives & other friends wouldn't approve of a romantic relationship w/the friend

3. they aren't ready to be in a romantic relationship

4. they want to protect their existing friendship

5. they fear being disappointed or hurt

6. they are concerned about a 3rd party who is romantically interested in the friend

negative feelings are most likely to arise when one friend... (LEC)

- constantly nags/criticizes the other

- betrays the other's confidence/trust

- behaves in a hostile/physically violent way around the other

- begins abusing alcohol/drugs

- fails to provide help/support when the other friend needs it

- becomes intolerant of the other friend's romantic partner or other friends

- feels he or she no longer has anything in common anymore

- life circumstances

result of having positive relationships w/co-workers (LEC)

increases job satisfaction

expectations of romantic relationships (LEC)

expected to be exclusive, voluntary, based on love, & involve commitment

precursors to attraction (LEC)

- micro-environmental (specific situations)

- social network

- proximity

predictors of attraction (LEC)

- physical attractiveness

- rewarding communication

- warm, positive interactions

- revising of initial impressions of people

- hard-to-get phenomenon

- chemistry between people

- similarity

- opposites attract

Matching Hypothesis of the Predictors of Attraction (LEC)

Suggests that instead of getting the most attractive ppl we can find, we are often attracted to ppl who have roughly the same level of overall physical attractiveness as themselves (b/c it minimizes rejection!)

reasons for dating (LEC)

- having fun

- investigating romantic potential

- developing friendships

- engaging in sexual activity

- reducing uncertainty

stages of coming together (LEC)

1. initiating

2. experimenting

3. intensifying

4. integrating

5. bonding

self-disclosure (LEC)

the action of intentionally giving others info about ourselves that we believe to be true & think that the receiver doesn't already know

What’s the Dialectical Perspective (LEC)

when people have strong needs for both openness, secrecy, and mutually managing when and what to disclose which can be very challenging, especially when the 2 parties involved have very different needs regarding the need for openness & secrecy

attributes of self-disclosure (LEC)

- intentional & truthful

- varies in breadth & depth

- varies among relationships

- a gradual process

- usually reciprocated

- can serve many purposes

- influenced by cultural & gender roles

dimensions of self-disclosure (LEC)

- depth

- breadth

- frequency

- valence

- duration

benefits of self-disclosure (LEC)

- enhancement of relationships & trust

- reciprocity

- emotional release

- helping others

risks of self-disclosure (LEC)

- rejection

- chance of obligating others

- hurt to others

- violation of another's privacy

self-disclosure & liking hypotheses (LEC)

- disclosure leads to liking

- liking leads to disclosure

- too much disclosure too early can lead to disliking

- indiscriminate disclosure is less likely to lead to liking

- negative responses to disclosure reduce liking

difference regarding online self-disclosures (LEC)

b/c of lack of F2F interaction, people are more often open in their self-disclosures at the start of an online relationship, can accelerate feelings of closeness between people

strategies for intensifying relationships (LEC)

- increasing contact

- direct definitional bid

- acceptance of definitional bid

- personal appearance

- behavioral adaptation

cognitive valence theory (LEC)

describes how people respond to increases in intimacy behavior

1. person a behaves in a way that increases intimacy behavior

2. intimacy behavior is perceived by person b & then experiences some level of arousal

3. person b makes a cognitive appraisal based on his/her cognitive schemata

cognitive schemata involves (LEC)

an evaluation of the increase in intimacy behavior based on...

1. cultural appropriateness

2. personal predispositions

3. interpersonal valence

4. situational appropriateness

5. psychological or physical states

love (LEC)

a complex, variable phenomenon that defies simple definition

Lee's Love Styles (LEC)

- physical love (eros)

- companionate love (storge)

- game playing love (ludus)

- possessive love (mania)

- unselfish love (agape)

- practical love (pragma)

Sternbeg's Triangular Theory of Love (LEC)

1. commitment

2. intimacy

3. passion

Types of Love (Sternberg) (LEC)

- nonlove

- liking

- infatuation

- empty love

- romantic love

- companionate love

- fatuous love

- consummate love

Marston & Hecht's Love Ways (LEC)

1. saying I love you

2. doing special things for the partner

3. being supportive, understanding, & attentive

4. touching the partner

5. simply being together

Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages (LEC)

1. acts of service

2. touch

3. gifts

4. verbal affirmations

5. quality time

attachment theory (LEC)

- developmental approach, view love as a process of becoming attached to someone, which includes forming a bond & becoming close to someone

- children 1st learn to develop attachments through dependence on their caregivers

Attachment Styles (Bartholomew) (LEC)

- secure

- preoccupied

- dismissive

- fearful

secure style (LEC)

self-sufficient, comfortable w/intimacy, wants interdependent relationships

preoccupied style (LEC)

overly involved & dependent, wants excessive intimacy, clings to relationships

fearful style (LEC)

wants approval from others, fearful of intimacy, sees relationships as painful, fears rejection

dismissive style (LEC)

is counter-dependent, uncomfortable w/intimacy, sees relationships as non-essentials

intimacy (LEC)

refers to the special relational states & interactions that occur in close relationships, characterized by feelings of warmth, trust, & deep friendship

characteristics of intimate relationships (LEC)

- unique

- contain depth

- exist over time in that they have a shared history, believe in a future together, & are marked by rituals

- involve the exchange of very high levels of listening & understanding

- are comfortable w/silence

importance of intimacy & affection (LEC)

- happiness

- mental health

- physical health

- overcoming relational turbulence

- self-expansion

intimacy & nonverbal behavior (LEC)

- visual behaviors

- spatial/proxemics behaviors

- touch

- body movement

- vocalic

- chronemic behaviors

types of verbal intimacy (LEC)

- self-disclosure

- verbal responsiveness

- relationship talk

- relational language

relational maintenance involves keeping a relationship... (LEC)

- in existence

- in a specified state/condition, stable, status quo

- in satisfactory condition

- at a desired level

centrifugal perspective (LEC)

people must actively work to maintain their relationships or else they will deteriorate

centripetal perspective (LEC)

people in close, committed relationships stay together unless something pulls them apart (cruise control approach)

strategic maintenance behaviors (LEC)

those that are intentionally designed to maintain the relationship

routine maintenance behaviors (LEC)

They are less strategic and deliberate

For Ex:

• Sharing takes, expressing positivity, and love languages

Why are LDRs increasing? (LEC)

due to pursuing higher education, dual professional careers, & immigrating from other countries

What are the 5 differences of LDRs (LEC)?

(1) They report just as much relational satisfaction

(2) Partners tend to show more openness & their better "sides"

(3) Both partners are on their best relational behavior when together

(4) Effort is put into creating quality time

(5) people in these idealize each other more & are more likely to believe they will get married

barriers to relational dissolution (LEC)

- attraction

- relational satisfaction

- love

- social pressures

- financial considerations

- fear of being alone

- internal psychological

- external structural

people stay in relationships for 2 major reasons... (LEC)

1. b/c they want to

2. b/c they have to

marriage types (LEC)

- conventionality

- companionships

- conflict

traditional marriage (LEC)

- conventional in views of marriage

- place more value on stability & certainty

- strongly interdependent, share much companionship

- don't avoid conflict, quickly able to resolve issues b/c of tightly defined roles

independent marriage (LEC)

- unconventional on views of marriage

- don't rely on each other much

- value own autonomy

- relationship is negotiated frequently

- results in more conflict

separate marriage (LEC)

- conventional in view of marriage

- not interdependent, do not share much

- emotionally divorced

- avoid conflict

- not expressive, don't understand partners' emotions well

9 signs your marriage will last (LEC)

1. you've dated for a while, but have had your own place

2. you keep "mmm-hmms" to a minimum

3. you talk a lot

4. you had warm feet on your wedding day

5. you've got demographics on your side

6. you fight fairly

7. you both carve out "me time"

8. you cultivate a culture of mutual appreciation

9. you amplify your partner's positive