HDFS exam 3

Love vs limerence

• fantasy based

• obsessive

• intense desire to have love returned

• self based vs other based

Approach to sexuality

• sexuality is normative

• focus on the science of sexuality

How do our attitudes form

parents, friends, media, sex ed, experiences, cultural standards

Sex education

• abstinence only

• abstinence plus

• comprehensive

Attitudes about sexuality

premarital sex is “always or almost always wrong” (25%)

Sex differences about sex

men: more ok w/ casual sex, usually feel better after, more approving of extradyadic, higher sex desires

women: less ok w/ causal sex, more regret, judged harder, less approving of extradyadic

Sex similarities

very few men and women want more than two sexual partners in a year; both judged for having too many sex partners

Research on same-sex sexuality

• supports biologically based sexual orientation

• similar relational processes in same sex and heterosexual partnerships

• no difference in ability to be a loving parent

• evidence that marriage is good for people

Attitudes across cultures and time

• US has become less sexually conservative over the decades

• US is more sexually conservative than other countries

4 underlying reasons for sex

emotional, physical, pragmatic/practical, insecurity

Why men and women have sex

both high in emotional reasons; men higher in the rest

Sociosexual orientations

beliefs and behaviors regarding sex (fairly stable, trait like); restricted vs unrestricted

Restricted vs unrestricted

relationship only

relationship and no relationship

Stresses and strains

commonplace, powerful, pervasive, unmet expectations/needs, attributions

Relationship value

maximal inclusion, active inclusion, passive inclusion, ambivalence, passive exclusion, active exclusion, maximal exclusion

Types of relational value

perceived relational value, relational devaluation, emotional response

Emotional response to relational value

rejection to any degree = hurt; devaluation = hurt; acceptance = happiness, belonging, self-confidence

Ostracism

being ignored; VERY common; easy

Responses to ostracism

compliance; become open to meeting new people; aggression, leaving

Loneliness

when what we have is less than what we want (subjective)

Social isolation

lack of meaningful contact (objective)

Examples of social isolation

living alone, few social network ties, infrequent social contact

2 types of social isolation

social and emotional

Effects of social isolation

health problems, bad habits

What correlates with social isolation

personality, attachment, self-esteem, expressivity, attitudes of others

Deception

an intentional behavior that creates an impression in the recipient that the deceiver knows is false; usually self-serving

Who lies

self monitoring people, younger adults

Lies in romantic relationships

fewer lies, biggest lies

Effects on relationships

less pleasant, less intimate, undermines trust; truth bias, deceiver’s distrust

Jealousy

hurt, fear, and anger

Reactive jealousy

real life rival

Suspicious jealousy

not real; in our minds

Individual differences

dependence, inadequacy/mismatched partners, past experience, attachment style, neuroticism, self-esteem, gender

Betrayal

hurtful actions by people we trusted and from whom we didn’t expect such behavior

Effects of betrayal

perpetrators: minimize behavior, minimize impact, deceiver’s distrust, prone to jealousy, tend to be unhappy in life

victims: intense emotions, heighten impact, neg attributions of others, damages relationship

What to do after betrayal

betrayers: own up to ALL of it, apologize, don’t make excuses, empathize, be patient

betrayed: be honest and upfront, reframe the event, use support networks, forgive when ready, vengeful action creates more pain!!!