Choice and equality - the pure relationship, same-sex couples as pioneers

Giddens (1992) - the past vs now in relation to choice and equality

• More gender equality and choice have transformed family and marriage

  • Contraception means sex and intimacy are now the main reason for a relationship, not reproduction

  • Feminism and opportunities in work and education have given women more independence

• Past: family relationships held together by ext. forces like laws and norms (pre-marital sex stigma)

• Now: freedom to self-define relationship, not act out the roles defined by law and tradition

  • No mandate to marry or have children

  • Divorce is more accessible

Giddens (1992) - the pure relationship

• Intimate relationships are based on choice and equality

  • Not: law, religion, social norms, traditional institutions

• Freedom to enter/leave relationships as see fit is part of the process of self-discovery/identity

• The pure relationship is typical of late modern society

  • Key feature: exists solely to satisfy each partner’s needs - partners remain together because of love, happiness and sexual attraction (not sense of duty, tradition or children)

    • Survives only as long as both partners believe it’s in their best interest - ‘rolling contract’ not permanent commitment

• HOWEVER: more choice → less stability → more diversity (l-p families, single person households, stepfamilies)

Giddens (1992) - same-sex couples as pioneers

• This leads the way to new family types, more equality in relationships and increased democracy

• SS relationships not influenced by tradition as hetero ones are due to previous stigmatisation and criminalisation

  • SS couples can negotiate personal relationships and create need-suiting family structures based on choice due to the absence of traditional roles

Weston (1992) - families of choice

• Families of choice created by queer people can be made of former lovers or biological kin

Weeks (2000)

• Friendships are very similar to kinships for queer people

CRITICISM of the pure relationship

• Families include more than just couples, and even then we’re unable to walk away at will

  • Separated couples are linked by children

CRITICISM of the pure relationship

• It’s important to put individuals in the context of their past and web of relationships as these shape their choices and family patterns