Interpersonal Comm Master Guide

· Individualism

o "I" consciousness
o Individual identity is valued over group identity, individual rights over group rights, individual achievement over group concerns

· Collectivism

o "we" consciousness
o People value group identity over individual identity, group obligations over individual rights and group concerns over individual desires

Power Distance

· Degree to which less powerful member of society accept and expect unequal power distribution

· High (large) Power Distance

o Some people are expected to have more power than others
o Corruption frequent, scandals covered up
o Ex: North Korea, Russia

· Low (small) Power Distance

o Equality is emphasized and assumed
o Corruption rare, scandals end political careers

Uncertainty Avoidance

· Extent to which members of a culture attempt to avoid ambiguity or uncertainty about others

· High Uncertainty Avoidance/Low Tolerance

o Prefer a lot of information about others in order to be comfortable
o dislike ambiguity
o like rules/ability to predict behaviors

· Low Uncertainty Avoidance/High Tolerance

o More open
o Change and diversity is welcomed
o Difference is "curious" (as opposed to dangerous)

High/Low Context

· The degree to which people find meaning in the context versus explicit words

· High Context

o Better at reading nonverbals and assume others are also
o Speak less and listen more
o Indirect and less explicit

· Low Context

o Stress explicit communication
o Emphasize verbal messages

· Ethnocentrism

o Tendency to see others and their behaviors through our own cultural filters, often as distortions of our own behaviors, often results in the belief that one's own culture is better than any other
o Culture is pervasive

· Assumed similarity

o Individuals refuse to recognize true differences between groups

Cores of Intercultural Communication Competence

- knowledge
- understanding
- acceptance
- skills

o Involuntary

§ Members related by blood or marriage (in-laws)
§ You do not get to choose who is in your family

o Voluntary

§ Members chosen to be included not related genetically
§ Friends, romantic partner

· Socio-orientation (conformity orientation)

o Similarity is valued over individuality and self-expression
o Harmony is preferred over expression of opinion
o Children must do what parents want

· Concept orientation (conversation orientation)

o Freedom of expressing is encouraged
o Communication is frequent
o Family life is pleasurable
o Allows children to develop their own ideologies

· Family

o Network of people who live together for long periods of time bound by ties of marriage, blood, or commitment (legal or other)

· Family structure

o Way a family assigns roles to its members

· Family functions

o Services a family provides for its members and for society

What is Culture?

· A group of people who, through a process of learning, can share perceptions of the world, which influence their beliefs, values, norms, and rules, eventually affecting one's behavior
o Not every individual member of that group shares every element of that culture
o Not born knowing culture, we learn it (communication, socialization)
o Learned
o Dynamic
o Pervasive

Intercultural Communication Defined

· The effects on communication behavior when different cultures interact together—communication that unfolds in symbolic intercultural spaces

Why Study Intercultural Communication?

· Opportunities for intercultural contact are increasing
· Business has become more international
· Technology (it's a small world)
· Rewarding and fulfilling relationships
· Self-awareness

· Family evolution

o Way a family adapts to change
o Understanding how families function helps predict major life events
o Weaver and Lawton's Family Life Cycle

Internal Functions of Family

· Providing care (children, elderly, ill)
· Socialization (what's appropriate, what's expected)
· Intellectual development (growing and learning)
· Recreation
· Emotional support

External Functions of Family

· Transmission of cultural values
· Accommodation to cultural change role of women in workplace vs household

· Support messages

o Any message that communicates support, affection, closeness

· Control messages

o Some of the ways parents discipline their children

Power assertion

asserting power, physical (spanking), demands (go to your room), restricting privileges (taking away phone)

Love withdrawal

§ ridicule their child, happens when parent is frustrated, no affection

Induction

logical reasoning with child, giving a reason for the punishment

Destructive Communication

o Verbal aggression
o Deception
o Psychological abuse
o Bullying
o Infidelity
o Loneliness
o Jealousy

· Romantic jealousy

o When an individual worries that a rival could interfere with the existence or quality of his/her relationship
o Doesn't have to be a person, can be anything interfering with the relationship
o Different from envy, this is where you want what they have but jealousy is that you have that thing, but you're worried something will take it away

Jealous Emotions

· Fear and anger are most central
· Other jealous emotions include:
o Sadness
o Guilt
o Envy
o Sexual arousal and attraction
o Some positive affect, such as love and appreciation

· Constructive responses

o Integrative communication- being upfront with partner
o Compensatory restoration- yourself feels jealous, you engage in behavior aimed to improve relationship (look better, gifts)

· Destructive responses

o Negative communication- direct and indirect, verbal/nonverbal aggression (sarcasm, dirty looks, silent treatment)
o Violent communication- words and threats (threatening to key car or break up with them), or touch and physical violence
o Counter jealousy induction- make your partner jealous too, revenge

· Avoidant responses

o Denial (of jealousy), pretending it isn't real
o Silence- don't know what to say so you don't say anything

· Rival-focused responses

o Signs of possession- publicly displaying relationship
o Derogating competitors- putting someone else down when someone could possibly interfere with relationship
o Surveillance- behavior aimed at finding more out about the rival- stalking
o Rival contacts- direct communication with potential rival

Deception

· A message knowingly transmitted by a sender to foster a false belief or conclusion by the receiver

Falsification

(lying), what you are saying is completely not true

Concealment

leaving out in important details that are important to the story, is misleading

Equivocation

strategically vague, making words fancy, playing with language to mislead

Why do we lie?

- harm others
- protect self
- spare others

Deception in Relationships

· Can help avoid arguments and hurt feelings
· Dishonest- less satisfaction and commitment
· Leading cause of conflict and breakups

· Advantages of relational closeness

o Behavioral familiarity- know their typical behaviors, know when something is off
o Informational familiarity- familiar with information about partner, therefore less information to lie about

· Disadvantages of relational closeness

o The truth biases- assume they are always telling the truth
o Behavioral control- partner knows behaviors you're looking for, so they can do those behaviors

Relational transgressions

· violation of implicit or explicit relational rules
o Sexual activity (monogamy)
o Wanting or actually dating others
o Deception about something significant
· Hurtful messages (words that elicit psychological pain) are also relational transgressions

How do Apologies Impact Relationships

o Expression of responsibility- did do something wrong
o Conveyance of remorse- wish I didn't do that
o Direct request for forgiveness
o Commitment to avoid repeated occurrences of the same behavior

Friendship Characteristics

1. voluntary
2. between two individuals
3. equality
4. shared reality
5. Friendships have affective aspects- emotional component
· Relational aspects= affective, inclusion, and control

Dialectics of Friendships

· Private

· Asynchronous communication

o Sender and receiver are not concurrently engaged in communication
o Ex: texting -send message and wait for response

· Synchronous communication

o Sender and receiver are concurrently engaged in communication
o Ex: texting can also be this

Impression Formation and CMC

· How one presents themselves to others through their online persona
o Strategic to accomplish goals
· Impacts employment and hiring decisions
· Impacts online dating experience
o Ex: tinder- hookups eHarmony- relationships, influences impressions
o Anticipated future interaction

CMC and Nonverbal Communication

· Cues filtered out
o Reductions in nonverbal cues lead to impersonal, orientations among users
o Different media filter out or transmit different cues, we interpret the message we are seeing based on the perception of what the sender intended, filling in gaps in messages
· Are not the same online and in person, so can't form relationships online

Social Presence Theory

· Fewer number of cue systems (nonverbal channels) = less warmth and involvement

Presence

o Degree to which we perceive another as a real person
o Ex: phone call has more presence than texting, don't have tone in text

· Individuals with higher levels of perceived social presence...

o Have more rewarding online interpersonal interactions
o Perceive themselves as more competent communicators

Walther and Burgoon 1992

· Can we form relationships online? Yes, takes time, can lead to face-to-face relationship
· Time more important than channel

Hyperpersonal CMC

· Premise: CMC can surpass the level of affection and emotion of parallel FtF interaction
· Can be equal, just takes more time over technology
o We can strategically use CMC to present an idealized self to others

· Optimized self-presentation

o Strategic self-presentation
o Emphasize desirable characteristics, downplay negative characteristics

· Idealized Perception (receiver)

o Fill in the blanks with idealized information
o Ex: Assuming they have other positive qualities after shown some
o Increases similarity and liking (esp. when anonymous)

· Channel

o Reduced cues
o Asynchronous
§ Can take time constructing a message (ex: bumble)

· Intensification Loop (feedback)

o Behavioral conformation magnified in CMC
o Idealized on expectations rather than actuality
§ Ex: explains reasons for a catfish

Summary

· We can form online relationships that are equal to offline relationships
o Just takes more time
· Our online relationships can not only reach the same levels as FtF relationships- they can exceed them

what is a conversation?

-joint activity in which two or more people use language and nonverbal signals to communicate interactively
-involves the transmission of facts and information, ideas, thoughts, and feelings
-occurs in real-time
-is an art that must be LEARNED

what types of conversations do we use?

-directionality
-tone/purpose

directionality

-one way conversations (talking at someone)
-two way conversations (to someone and they say something back)

what is the johari window?

-a model for understanding how the connections between self-disclosure and feedback can produce greater self-awareness and a positive self-concept
-focus on two interpersonal dimensions (willingness to self-disclose, receptivity to feedback)

difference between listening and hearing?

hearing is:
passive
physical ability
secondary process
multitask
listening is:
active
complex thinking
primary process
focus

Stages of Listening? HURIER

hearing
understanding
remembering
interpreting
evaluating
responding

what are the four listening styles?

people- oriented listeners, focused on person doing the talking
action-oriented listeners, focused on what the person wants
content oriented listeners, focused on content of message, comprehension trying to decode
time oriented listeners

5 types of listening

discriminative
comprehension
critical
appreciative
therapeutic

1. discriminative listening

distinguishing between stimuli to determine what you should pay attention to

2. comprehensive listening

use of discrimination skills in order to understand and remember what the speaker is saying

3. critical listening

an individual carefully analyzes the message sent in order to determine the acceptability or validity of the message

4. appreciative listening

the act of listening for pleasure

5. therapeutic listening

an individual serves as a sounding board for the other person

step 1 hearing

attending to some kind of communicated message
get physically and mentally ready
make a complete shift from speaker to listener

step 2 understanding

ability to comprehend the message
paraphrasing (content paraphrase/feeling paraphrase)

what is persuasion?

an attempt to convince other to form, reinforce, or change their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors in an atmosphere of free choice (behavior can be more valuable) ex: voting

social influence

conformity, power, and authority

difference of coercion vs persuasion

freedom=persuasion
no freedom=coercion
all depends on perceptions and circumstances

coercion

persuading using force or threats

what is a fear appeal?

a persuasive form of communication, tries to scare people into changing their attitudes, emphasized negative consequences that happen if they do not comply

why aren't fear appeals easy?

-needs to be scary enough
-cant be too scary, or we block it out
-we tend to believe we are invincible or invulnerable

illusion of invulnerability

"unrealistic optimism"
we believe we are less likely than others to experience negative life effects

3 reasons of illusion of invulnerability

-dont want to admit that its possible
-dont fit the stereotypes of other victims
-delay costs until were older for enjoyment (ex: smoking)

what are 2 key processes of guilt appeals?

empathy:
feel for the endangered cause/group, guilty if you dont comply
efficacy:
like fear, solutions must be both doable and effective

why are guilt appeals effective in a lab setting but not in real life?

TV messages less impactful than in a lab
intentions dont always lead to behavior
distrust of some charities
sense that its not our responsibility

fixed action patterns

sequences of behavior that occur in virtually the same fashion and in the same order every time

what are the six weapons of influence?

reciprocation
commitment and consistency
social proof
liking
authority
scarcity
(rcslac)

1. reciprocation

-we should try and repay what another person has provided for us
-uninvited debts (feel like you must do the same)
-unequal changes (usually pay more than initial favor)

2. commitment and consistency

-once we make a choice, we will encounter personal and interpersonal pressures to behave consistently with that commitment (dont like behavior that's inconsistent)

3. social proof

we view behavior as correct in a given situation to the degree that we see others performing it (following the crowd) ex: nike shorts

social proof- pluralistic ignorance

people infer that they feel different from their peers, even though they behave similarly

4. liking

people prefer to say yes to individuals they know and like (physical attractiveness, halo effect, similarity, compliments, contact)

5. authority

a strong pressure exists to comply with he requests of an authority, we perceive leaders are in charge as they have earned their credibility
symbols of authority (titles(dr. mrs.), clothes, artifacts)

6. scarcity

-opportunities seems more valuable to us when they are less available ex: toilet paper scarcity
-limited numbers
-time limits (ex: shamrock shake)
-competition (ex: Christmas time)

what are five styles of conflict management?

competing
accommodating (McDonalds)
Avoiding (were staying in)
Compromising (Somewhere else other than those 2)
collaborate (grab both places, eat in car or park)