unit two | love and relationships

purposes of dating

to discover compatibility, to have fun, to build connections, to experience love and fulfill emotional needs, and companionship

great dates and why

cooking class, escape room, hike, paddle boarding, game night with family

allows you to better get to know the person through their actions, discover their true personality and the realness of your connection, fosters communication, less intense, vulnerability

love

• takes time to develop

• sense of security

• focused and happy

• secure and not worried

• concern for others

• sex may occur, not driving force

• trust

• people/family approve

• doesn’t have you compromise values

• fighting occurs, but not freq. or severe

infatuation

• starts quickly

• sense of uncertainty

• can not stay focused

• risk of losing person

• self-gratification

• sex is driving force

• inability to trust

• jealousy

• others don’t approve

• you do things not normal for you

• frequent and severe fighting

love vs intimacy

love is an intense emotion, desire, and commitment toward another person

intimacy is the deep, trust-based, and vulnerable connection at the same level that allows individuals to feel truly known and safe

patriarchal versus egalitarian marriages

patriarchal believes in father rule. affirms hierarchy and supports that differences between men and women are part of God’s design, our different natures give us our separate roles

egalitarian strongly rejects hierarchy and promotes equality. avoids the concept of sexual differences and that there are levels of fit for certain roles, roles are determined based on who the spouse is, not their gender

benefits of marriage to men and women

women - boost mental health, promotes healthier life, and a longer life

men - lower rates of alcohol and drug abuse, depression, and risk-taking behavior

reasons for divorce

lack of commitment, infidelity, poor communication, growing apart, abuse, substance abuse, and marrying to young

consequences of divorce to children

children face emotional distress, behavioral issues, and lower academic performance

what parenting style am I most likely to use? detail the parent actions and child outcomes associated with style

authoritative. a balanced style combining high warmth, support, and responsiveness with high expectations, clear boundaries, and discipline from the parents. children grow into well-adjusted and successful adults with strong emotional regulation, high esteem, and social skills

mindset of abusers

entitlement, power and control. they justify sexual assault by adopting “rape myths” that blame the victims clothing, location, alcohol, or no answer equals consent

mindset of victims

self blame, doubt, shame, emotional numbness, isolation, depression, anxiety, confusion

ways to avoid abuse in relationships

learn what healthy love looks like and build healthy relationship skills (communication, honesty, trust) don’t ignore patterns, stay connected to support systems (don’t isolate), set boundaries (watch for their response), and learn the warning signs

ways people can help the victim

listen without judgment, create a safe space, spend time with them, provide resources, and reassure the victim that it is not their fault

consent - verbal and non-verbal

to give or receive sober permission to do something

verbal - using words to clearly express permission and want. saying “yes” or “i want this”

non-verbal - using actions to clearly express permission and want. nodding or active participation

date rape drugs and effects

roofies - deep sedation, extreme fatigue, slowed breathing and heart rate

ecstacy - emotional warmth and empathy, affection, more likely to engage in unwanted sexual activities

weed - altered perception, impaired cognitive functioning, relaxed mood

ketamine - physically unable to move and respond, hallucinations, increased heart rate and bp

GHB - sudden onset, euphoria, increased talking, enhanced sexual feelings

spiked drinks - extreme incapacitation, sudden onset, vomiting, difficult breathing, change in heart rate

strategies to avoid date rape

never leave drinks unattended, avoid sharing, go with trusted friends

make an argument for reporting on campus or to local police if a sexual assault

reporting sexual assault to local police treats it as a crime. law enforcement will not minimize or blame the victim, but conduct investigations, collect evidence, and hold perpetrators legally accountable regardless of their value to the institution in ways universities can’t. police reports also create public records that help identify repeat offenders and protect the community. while campus reporting ultimately prioritizes the institution and their programs, such as sports, over the safety of the victim and general public.

although in some cases, sadly, neither campus or local police will do anything if the police are in contract or favoritism towards the university.

why do universities discourage victims from reporting to local police

for control and reputation management

police reports are public records and once law enforcement is involved it can lead to news coverage and publicity. By handling cases internally, schools can keep things quiet, avoid lawsuit, and protect their brand helping to maintain donors and enrollment

three essential needs in a healthy relationship and how you would promote those in your relationship

trust - admit mistakes, make sure my words and actions are the same, avoid secrets, be supportive

communication - active listening, regularly check-in, talk openly and calmly

set boundaries - know my limits with time, space, physically, and express them. be consistent