The Middle tv show who said it

You do for family

Frankie

I like it. It soothes me.

Brick

Mom, you don’t need to do this alone.

Axl

Uh, cause I’m not a nerd

Axl

Once they think they’ve won, they’ll just walk away.

Brick

I gave you a dollar not to talk about that.

Frankie

So you’re not dad’s favourite. Move on. I’ve made peace with it.

Brick

Hell, yeah, you were a mistake. I mean, we’re happy that you’re here now but you were definitely a mistake.

Mike

You mean we’ve been living outside are means? Oh, god.

Axl

Oh god. Axl’s got a beer!

Sue

You said it was a great plan.

Sue

And, by the way, not a good babysitter cause she obviously dropped April on her head a few times.

Brick

Yeah. I only got two thoughts in my head driving and sex. Uh, grades. I mean driving and grades.

Axl

But you know what? At least you have a room. I don’t have anything of my own. No baby pictures, clothes from the cousins box. I don’t even have a chair at the dinner table. None of you walk in my shoes. I don’t even walk in my shoes! I walk in cousin Jared’s shoes.

Brick

You told my sister you were going to take her to prom and then like you just cancel on her last minute.

Axl

No, this is from a young lady who’s in a lot of pain. My dearest brother. I know you’re going back to college tomorrow. But before you go, I want you to know that I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, very, very, ver— basically, she’s sorry.

Brick

What if mom and dad got a divorce. Who would we go with.

Sue

I can read. I’m not stupid.

Axl

But mom, oh shoot! My smile!

Sue

Actually, now that I think about it. I wouldn’t go with dad. I’d go with Axl and April.

Brick

If being weird was a reason not to take things home, we would have left you at the hospital.

Axl

Oh! I know the answer! Nothing the answer is nothing!

Sue

Yes, we knew they both could wait, but could we?

Frankie

I like to think it found me.

Sue

This is so unfair. Why do our Thanksgiving planes have to be ruined? Just because the timing doesn’t work out for April.

Sue

So if I tell the social worker that you hit me, too, does that mean that I can, like, trade up to a better foster family or..

Axl

Shut up, shut up, shut up! They’re gonna split us up! They’re gonna take us away!

Sue

Why can’t we just die now and get it over with?

Axl

That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard!

Sue

A hot girl who thinks she’s a geek. Some 13-year-old boy is going to be very lucky.

Axl

And oh, my god, he’s dressed like corn.

Axl

Are there any foster families available with cute teenager girls? Cause they wouldn’t be considered my sister, right?

Axl

Of course, Sue. You’re my sister. I’d do anything for you. And 20 bucks.

Axl

Well, you got to know. You’re not a little kid anymore playing Barbies, Sue. A man has asked you to marry him. Do you understand the situation you’re in here?

Mike

Why? Why do I always have to help her? Why do I always have to be the one to save the day? She’s scared? I’m scared! Ever think about that? Everyone’s always worried about Sue, but what about me? I spent years building my reputation at school, and now she’s coming into my world, and… Sue-ing it up it’s not fair! But no one cares about what I might be going through. Nobody even thinks about me! Ugh!

Axl

Eh, it’s not worth the fight.

Frankie

Why do we have to get a fake tree? Why can’t we get a real tree and a fake Sue?

Axl

oh my God you ruin my life at school now you gotta ruin my life at home too. I take it anymore. I need my space.

Axl

You can look at the cord, but the truth is you don’t get to stop being parents, no matter how old your kids get and with moments like these why would you want to

Frankie

It means your mom is right! Your girlfriend’s as dumb as a bag of hammers! And we all think so.

Mike

I’m out. He’s not talking to me anymore. And I took Sue and Brick down with me.

Mike

What about me makes you think I’d be on top of it?

Axl

“No! No way! Look, I don’t know what you think is happening here, but I gotta tell you, this is not a family in crisis or whatever like at all. I mean, yeah, some of the time, we can’t stand each other, and if my sister goes to my college, I will be forced to change my name and get a cheap Mexican face transplant, but we are tight. We hang with each other and we goof on each other and we crack each other up, and we’re always there for each other. I-I think that’s because we have parents who every day, a million times a day show us what being a family is really all about. I mean, they have our backs, and we have theirs. And isn’t that the whole point? Just having each other’s backs? I mean, right? That’s… basically what Jesus is saying. I know it’s not pretty to look at, but we get the job done. It’s like a… like a crappy-looking football team that manages to win 10 games a season. We win ugly. It’s just how we roll.

Axl

“We’re not even here for me. This isn’t my day. We’re running errands. You see? Even my special day isn’t even for me. This is nothing at all that I wanted. Nothing. You won’t. I know you won’t. No you do things for everyone else. And by the time you get around to me, you don’t care. You don’t have anything left. You don’t even have the energy to yell at me.

Brick

Maybe we shouldn’t plan at all. Maybe we should just be in the moment we’re in and enjoy the time we have with the people we love. Damn it! That would have been the perfect toast. Oh, I’ll save it for Thanksgiving. I hope it’s just the core group.

Frankie

Did we tell Brick we were leaving?

Mike

You know what, man? I’m out, okay? Fine. And—and—and—and… I know you think you’ve won, but you haven’t. It might seem cool to just sit on the sidelines and make fun of everything, but at the end of the day, you’re not really cool. You’re just a guy who missed out on a lot of fun stuff.

Axl

Wow, that’s really bad. You know, this probably isn’t a good time for me to be swallowing a pill. I don’t want to add to the family stress.

Brick

What are you looking at, Frodo?

Axl

I don’t take it personally. The truth is, if you go through life expecting other people to make things good for you, you’re gonna be disappointed. The only person you can depend on is yourself. And I guess I’m lucky cause I like myself. So whenever I’m with myself I’m happy. I’ve never once let myself down.

Brick

Hell we can’t. The bear stole are car?

Mike

I know what’s going on. The kid’s got a certain amount of snark that’s got to come out, and since he’s with April 24/7, it’s got nowhere to go. It’s— it’s like a plugged-up hose. The water’s gonna come out somewhere.

Mike

I mean, I would get it if she’s some great catch, but she’s not. Axl could have had his pick of anyone and he picks April? She’s a moron, an idiot. If breathing wasn’t automatic, she’d be dead!

Frankie

I don’t play sports. I don’t exactly have a ton of friends. I have books. You don’t read. You don’t understand. You don’t know what it’s like to live in different worlds, to travel on great adventures through the galaxy with people you know better than you know your own family, to live and die with them. Have you ever loved anything? Do you have any idea? These are my friends, Axl my best friends in the world. You took away something from me that I can never get back you took it, and you wrecked it.

Brick

Eh, I’m a little tired. Seeking attention is exhausting. Axl makes it look so easy

Brick

Sean who? Sean Penn? Sean Connery? Sean the bagger from the Frugal Hoosier?

Frankie

No, that’s just how we are. He calls me gross, and I say his girlfriend isn’t good enough for him. It’s banter. We’re very Italian and Jewish that way. We speak with our hands, and we’re passionate. We say things we shouldn’t and then we’re fine!

Frankie

I don’t know. Maybe they’re a good match. It’s not like Axl’s the sharpest tool in the shed.

Mike

He needs to marry up in the brains department, not down. Their kids are gonna be wearing their pants on their heads!

Frankie

What I’m saying is, go out and get yourself a bookmark. Bookmark equals girl go get one before it’s too late. What are you waiting for?

Brick

This is how bad it is. We’re crossing our fingers for Cindy.

Frankie

She is the same person she was two weeks ago before you started poking around on her Facebook. Now you’re all caught up in who’s looking at her page and who’s commenting and none of it’s real. None of it means anything. You’re letting other people define who Sue is to you.

Mike

No, that’s okay. Somebody’s gotta love the weird ones.

Brick

If you could trade Brick for some kid that never made us worry, would you? I wouldn’t. Cause then we wouldn’t have the kid who made us take all the leaves that we raked in the yard and release them back into the wild. I mean, who thinks like that? I’ll never forget it. So, yeah, he’s weird, but I’d take him over some “normal” kid any day.

Mike

Is all the vomit gone? If the vomit’s gone will you kiss meeee?

Sue

Take me off the group text.

Mike

Do I flush or not?

Brick

Well if you go, I’m gonna miss the hell out of ya. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do what’s right for you.

Mike

My whole life, I’ve been breathing your sweaty sneakers, living with cereals bowls everywhere, your hair everywhere, wet towels on my bed. I never really had anything that wasn’t yours already or anything that didn’t have something to do with you. And if that’s ending, then I’m trying to figure out what my room is without you in it. I don’t know. You’re like my arm or something. Like having to suddenly learn to write with your left hand. You get that right?

Brick

Yup. Three just feels right. It’s all that fits in the back seat.

Axl

Wow. Think about it. This is the last night we’re gonna have all three kids living here under one roof. I love this feeling. When your body just knows that they’re safe and sound and right next to you in their beds.

Frankie

I still don’t understand how birth order dictates seats, but I figured this is your last trip with the family.

Brick

Oh. Uh, yeah, I put in there as a goodbye gift. This is a long way to come to thank me.

Sue

I thought you were drunk!

Axl

Well, I did not see that coming at all.

Brick

I knew. I’ve known for a long time. I was the first, but I was sworn to secrecy. That’s why I knew and the rest of you didn’t.

Frankie

And they have a grief counsellor if you want it.

Mike

You made a new Death Napkin without me?

Frankie

It’s the end of an era.

Frankie