military discount sketch

start of the scene

TOM: Bank’s ten minutes away—do you think we can get our food and get out of here quick?

FRANK: Yeah, we’ll be fine. I’ve been the getaway driver plenty of times, and I’ve always had time for McDonald’s.

TOM: Yeah, yeah, okay. Boss, this is exciting. I love crime AND McDonald’s!

FRANK: Yep. Y’know, they got some good employee discounts here for like, first responders and stuff. Makes me wish they did one for guys like us.

TOM: Ha ha, that’d be nice, wouldn’t it!

FRANK: Would save me a helluva lotta money since all this inflation stuff, y’know Tommy?

TOM: Don’t I know it

CASHIER: Welcome to McDonald’s, what can I get for you?

TOM: Can I please do a 10-piece McNuggets with Fries and a Vanilla shake?

CASHIER: Is that all for you today?

TOM: Yeah.

CASHIER: That’ll be $11.68.

TOM winces. He leans in, trying to be discreet.

TOM: Do you guys offer uh… first responder discounts? For law enforcement?

CASHIER: Are you in law enforcement?

TOM shushes her.

TOM: Shh…. If I was, how much would this meal be?

FRANK: Speed it up, Tommy. It’s part of the job–we have to be there so they can GET AWAY.

TOM: Yeah, yeah, just… having some trouble with my drink choices!

FRANK (looks at CASHIER): He’ll have a Coke.

FRANK walks away.

TOM: Here it is.

TOM looks around before sliding it over.

CASHIER: These names don’t match. License says Tommy Plainclothes, and your employee ID says Hugh—

TOM shushes her again.

TOM: Alright, alright. I’ll just pay it.

FRANK: What’s this?

TOM: Umm… I don’t…

FRANK: You trying to use your discount?

TOM: No… I just…I found it. I wanted to return it, see if somebody lost it.

FRANK: It’s okay man, you don’t have to lie to me. I do the same thing.

TOM: Really? You’re undercover too?