Test 2 (PLED 301)

What is the five-fold purpose of pre-marriage counseling?

1. Assessment
2. Affirmation
3. Alteration
4. This will establish a resource for the future.
5. This will maximize the butterflies.

[T/F] There is no such thing as a textbook couple.

True

Regarding pre-marriage counseling, you may never see this couple as _______, _______________, and _______________ as they are right now.

Open, sensitive, receptive

For pre-marriage counseling, what is the counseling environment?

Non-formal, structured

According to the professor, how long should pre-marriage counseling be?

Nine weeks

Why is pre-marriage counseling scheduled close to the wedding?

§ The reason pre-marriage counseling is this close to the wedding is because two people are not yet married until they are married. Talking constantly about marriage so far before marriage can cause problems, such as premature sexual desires. The pastor should not be guilty of defrauding (1 Thess. 4), stirring up desires in another person that cannot be righteously fulfilled.

What is "defrauding"?

Stirring up desires in another person that cannot be righteously fulfilled.

In what weeks is nothing done during pre-marriage counseling? Why?

Nothing is done in the last two weeks (week 8 and 9) because the couples are insanely busy. Even if you have the time, you do not have them mentally.

In pre-marriage counseling, what is given at the end of each section for the next session?

Homework

How long should a session or pre-marriage counseling be?

One hour

How far before the wedding should pre-marriage counseling be scheduled?

8-9 weeks

What is the six session topics for pre-marriage counseling?

1. Getting acquainted/testimonies
2. Communication
3. Finances/family devotions
4. Vows of ceremony
5. Wedding plans
6. Honeymoon/questions and answers

What are the elements of the first session of pre-marriage counseling?

1. Is there a quality about your partner that is significant? What do you admire about him?
2. Explain your engagement. (God's will.) Tell the whole story.
3. Is there anything about your past that your partner needs to know that you have not already discussed? (i.e. abortion, rape, divorce, disease, etc.)

What is the homework of the first session of pre-marriage counseling?

Birth control, your expectations

What are the elements of the second session of pre-marriage counseling?

Communication, conflict management
- Five levels of communication (sharing and listening)

__________ only leads to ____________. _____________ only leads to ________________.

Rebuke, hostility, affirmation, permissiveness

Communication is ______________ (it reveals the level of intimacy) and ______________.

Reflective, causative

The attitude/environment necessary for _____________ _____________ is _______________ and _______________, "_________ ____" when there is not "_______ _____."

Healthy, communication, sacrifice, character, "wanting to," "want to."

What is the common marriage day and month?

Saturday, May

What are the five levels of effective communication?

Level 5: Affirmation and Rebuke
Level 4: Feelings
Level 3: Opinions and Judgments
Level 2: Facts and Information
Level 1: Clichés

[10 Keys to Effective Sharing #1]
1. Be a ready __________ and do not _________ until the other person has finished __________.

Listener, answer, talking

[10 Keys to Effective Sharing #2]
2. Be slow to __________. ________ first. Do not be _________ in your _________. _________ in such a way that the other person can _______________ and __________ what you say.

Speak, think, hasty, words, speak, understand, accept

[10 Keys to Effective Sharing #3]
Speak the _________ always, but do so in __________. Do not _______________.

Truth, love, exaggerate

[10 Keys to Effective Sharing #4]
Do not use ______________ (____________) to _____________ the person. ___________ why you are _____________ to talk at this time.

Silence, pouting, frustrate, explain, hesitant

[10 Keys to Effective Sharing #5]
Do not become involved in __________. It is possible to ___________ without _______________.

Quarrels, disagree, quarreling

[10 Keys to Effective Sharing #6]
Do not __________ in _________. Use a ______, _______ response.

Respond, anger, soft, kind

[10 Keys to Effective Sharing #7]
When you are in the ___________, ________ it and ask for ________________. When someone ______________ to you, tell him you __________ him. Be sure it is ____________ and not ____________ ____ to the person.

Wrong, admit, forgiveness, confesses, forgive, forgotten, brought up

[10 Keys to Effective Sharing #8]
Avoid ____________.

Nagging

[10 Keys to Effective Sharing #9]
Do not ________ or ___________ the other but _________ him, ____________ him, and _______ him. If someone verbally __________, ____________, or __________ you, do not ____________ in the same ___________-.

Blame, criticize, restore, encourage, edify, attacks, criticizes, blames, respond, manner

[10 Keys to Effective Sharing #10]
Try to ____________ the other person's _____________. Make _____________ for _______________. Be _____________ about their _______________.

Understand, opinion, allowance, differences, concerned, interests

What are the three questions to knowing when you should speak?

Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?

[5 Keys to Effective Listening #1]
Establish ______ ___________ and assume a ___________ that clearly _________________ the other person has your complete _____________.

Eye contact, posture, indicates, attention

[5 Keys to Effective Listening #2]
Pay _______________ to ___-___________ clues

Attention, non-verbal

[5 Keys to Effective Listening #3]
Listen _____________.

Reflectively

[5 Keys to Effective Listening #4]
Give _______ responses.

Open

[5 Keys to Effective Listening #5]
Allow the _________ person to _________ the ___________.

Other, resolve, problem

[The Wife: God's Instrument in the Husband's Journey #1]
Her _______ become your ____________/____________.

Needs, message, direction

[The Wife: God's Instrument in the Husband's Journey #2]
Her ______________ is your ____________ (God _________ you to ___________ her into ____________).

Development, guidance, expects, guide, fulfillment

[The Wife: God's Instrument in the Husband's Journey #3]
__________ her to __________ you.

Invite, instruct

[The Wife: God's Instrument in the Husband's Journey #4]
____________ her to ____________ you.

Encourage, correct

[The Wife: God's Instrument in the Husband's Journey #5]
_________ ________________ as a __________.

Lead, authoritatively, servant

[The Wife: God's Instrument in the Husband's Journey #6]
_________ her ____________ (that may ____________ His ________ and _________—beware of ______ worship).

Resist, influence, contradict, Word, ways, idol

_____________ is not __________, necessarily _______, or a __________.

Conflict, wrong, bad, sin.

If ___________ is not a part of your ____________, the _____________ of your _____________ is ______________.

Conflict, intimacy, quality, intimacy, diminished

What are the five types of differences in conflict management?

1. Taste (preferences)
2. Habits (involuntary, non-thinking, personal practices)
3. Values (convictions)
4. Thinking (processing and implementation)
5. Temperament (personality)

In conflict management, what are habits?

Involuntary, non-thinking, personal practices

What are the two categories and four temperaments?

Introvert (melancholic, phlegmatic)
Extrovert (sanguine, choleric)

What are the five keys to conflict management?

1. Timing
2. Communication
3. Stick to the issue
4. Fight fair
5. Compromise is not a dirty word

In conflict management, what are the five steps for dealing with differences?

1. Awareness (learning the facts)
2. Acknowledge (one side is not right, and the other side is not wrong)
3. Acceptance (compromise)
4. Adaptation (making adjustments)
5. Appreciation (see the other part for who he or she is)

According to Tim Clark, ___________ cannot dictate the ______ of God.

Finance, will

According to Tim Clark, you must know ______ you are doing and _______ you are doing it to have the __________ to keep going.

What, why, motivation

According to Tim Clark, if you learn how to ________ a __________ and ___________ family, you will be able to ________ a __________ and ___________ _________.

Lead, strong, healthy, family, lead, strong, healthy, church

According to Tim Clark, _______ the _________, and ________ the _________.

Follow, leader, lead, follower

According to Tim Clark, whatever you do, include you ________.

Kids

According to Tim Clark, if you ______ your __________ well, they will _______ your _______ well. _____ them love your family.

Lead, church, love, family, let

According to Tim Clark, do not ________ all the __________ things about the ministry with your _______ and _______. Use _________ and __________.

Share, negative, wife, family, wisdom, discretion.

According to Tim Clark, do not develop a _________ ____________ if things do not go your _____ or if you are _________ in what you can ___ because of the _________.

Victim mentality, way, limited, do, ministry

[Family Devotions Guidelines and Suggestions #1]
Christian ___________ should be ___________; ______________ are a _____________ part of ______ _______.

Families, spiritual, devotions, critical, soul care

[Family Devotions Guidelines and Suggestions #2]
It must not take the place of __________ _________ life (beware of ___-____________)

Personal devotional, co-dependency

[Family Devotions Guidelines and Suggestions #3]
Take an ___________ of __________ and ________; what are their current ___________?

Inventory, husband, wife, practices

[Family Devotions Guidelines and Suggestions #4]
Scripture ____________ & _________. (_______ with each other at __________)

Reading, prayer, pray, bedtime

[Family Devotions Guidelines and Suggestions #5]
Develop a ____________ of ____________/_________ _____________ and _______________.

Lifestyle, individual, family, sensitivity, expression

[Family Devotions Guidelines and Suggestions #6]
Develop a _________ _______ _______ based upon _______ _______ _______.

Written daily plan, long range goals

[Family Devotions Guidelines and Suggestions #7]
______________: ______ ________, ______ _________________ of each __________ member

Contextualize, life stage, age appropriateness, family

[Family Devotions Guidelines and Suggestions #8]
_______ & _______________: Establish ______, ______, ________. i.e. ___-____ minutes at __________ time

Time, locations, time, day, hour, 15-20, dinner

[Family Devotions Guidelines and Suggestions #9]
Not ____________________ _________________ ______________, but _____________ _________ and _________________ should be ______________ or ____________ (typically this can be done through the church)

Comprehensive biblical instruction, lifetime scope, sequence, adopted, written

[Family Devotions 10 Ideas and Tips #1]
More important than ______ you do family devotions is ______ you _____ family devotions.

How, that, do

[Family Devotions 10 Ideas and Tips #2]
Keep family devotions __________, especially when _________ ______. _______ ___________ minutes are far better than __________ ___________ ones.

Simple, starting out, five engaging, twenty rambling

[Family Devotions 10 Ideas and Tips #3]
Family devotions is not only about __________ ____________ but also about ________________ ____________ and ____________ _____________.

Gaining, knowledge, establishing patterns, displaying priorities

[Family Devotions 10 Ideas and Tips #4]
The _____________ of family devotions is __________: __________ and ________. Better said: ________, ________, and ________.

Foundation, simple, read, pray, read, teach, pray

[Family Devotions 10 Ideas and Tips #5]
Family devotions don't need to be _______, but they must not be _______ either. Focus on ______________, not _________________.

Fun, drab, engagement, entertainment

[Family Devotions 10 Ideas and Tips #6]
The ___________ of family devotions is not only ____________ _______________ but also ___________ to _______ together as a __________.

Benefit, gaining knowledge, relating, God, family

[Family Devotions 10 Ideas and Tips #7]
Do not grow ______________ if your _____________ look ___________. Measure ________, not ________ and let your _______ be ________.

Discouraged, children, bored, long, short, kids, kids

[Family Devotions 10 Ideas and Tips #8]
Ask for ______ on family devotions from ___________ in your _________ ________. _________ from their ___________ and _______ _________.

Tips, others, local church, glean, successes, false starts

[Family Devotions 10 Ideas and Tips #9]
_____________ that God will ______ through family devotions but do not __________ that His _______ take a __________ _________.

Expect, work, demand, work, certain form

[Family Devotions 10 Ideas and Tips #10]
______, take _____________ for family devotions. ________ your _________ by leading them to the _______ and leading them in _________.

Dad, responsibility, lead, family, Word, prayer

[T/F] There is a difference between family devotions and family catechism.

True

[Developing a Family Bible Catechism General Guidelines #1]
This is a ___________ and ___________ family _____________. ______, ______, and _________.

Spiritual, personal, endeavor, pray, fast, worship

[Developing a Family Bible Catechism General Guidelines #2]
_______________ the ______ with the ___________ and __________ (kindergarten-12th grade, summers off)
a) What is the ________ currently providing in this area?
b) What is the __________ currently covering?
c) Choose _________ matter that ________ to the _________ ________ concerns.

Synchronize, plan, church, school
Church
School
Subject, responds, public school

[Developing a Family Bible Catechism General Guidelines #3]
Make sure that _____________ is "____-_________________."

Curriculum, age-appropriate

[Developing a Family Bible Catechism General Guidelines #4]
Search for _________ ________ from ____________ ____________ (there are _______).
a) ________________ publishers
b) _________ __________ organizations, etc.

Lesson plans, reputable source, many
Denominational
Home school

[Developing a Family Bible Catechism General Guidelines #5]
_____________ who will be the _____________.
a) Both __________ should be involved.
b) ____________ with the _________ and the ____________ who ____________ program (_______________ to children, youth, and adult)
c) ___________ other _________ who will provide ____________.

Determine, instructor(s)
Parents
Coordinate, pastor, person(s), oversee, ministers
Organize, parents, instruction

[Developing a Family Bible Catechism General Guidelines #6]
________ with _________ in mind.
a) ____________ instruction
b) ________ regularly
c) ___________ for outcome (did the child understand and retain the subject?)

Teach, outcome
Individualized
Test
Look

[Developing a Family Bible Catechism General Guidelines #7]
Use a ___________, "________-_________" approach.

Narrative, story-telling

[Developing a Family Bible Catechism General Guidelines #8]
Use a ________ _________ of the _________ approach, what we ___________ (_____________).

Great, truths, Bible, believe, doctrines

[The Meaning of Money #1]
Money as __________.

Power

[The Meaning of Money #2]
Money as __________.

Love

[The Meaning of Money #3]
Money as __________.

Status

[The Meaning of Money #4]
Money as __________.

Security

[Biblical View of Money #1]
______ is the ___________ for our __________.

God, Provider, needs

[Biblical View of Money #2]
Being _______ ___________ of what God ____________.

Good, stewards, provides

[Biblical View of Money #3]
______ and how to __________ it.

Debt, handle

[Biblical View of Money #4]
_____________ loans.

Cosigning

[Biblical View of Money #5]
The ___________ of ________ by _________.

Acquisition, money, work

[Biblical View of Money #6]
Being _________ in our ____________ ___________ is the ___________ ___________.

Ethical, financial dealings, highest priority

[Biblical View of Money #7]
__________ is a ______________ __________.

Savings, disciplines, practice

[Biblical View of Money #8]
____________

Investing

[Biblical View of Money #9]
_______________

Inheritances

[Biblical View of Money #10]
___________ to God is a __________ ___________.

Giving, regular practice

[Biblical View of Money #11]
__________ to _________.

Giving, others