Percy Jackson Lines

EXPELLED

Hey Mom, how was your day? Mine was ok. we went on this field trip, I got expelled, I saw some super x-rated art, museums are crazy -

The headmaster called me.

about the art?

About the field trip.

Are you mad?

Well, I'm not happy. What happened Percy?

So first the math teacher turned into a demon, and then I had this sword-

You know what, it doesn't matter. We'll find another school. Again.

I'm not a bad kid on purpose

Oh baby, I know. How would you like to take a trip? Just the two of us.

Is that okay with "Smelly Gabe"?

Who's gonna cook for me? Who's gonna clean?

My mom's not your servant.

Lucky for him... Bean. Dip.

Aw man, has that guy ever heard of showers? Mom... you don't have to put up with him like that.

It's complicated, Percy.

You always say that. Why?

SO BE STRONG

So what is this place? Are you sending me to summer school?

More like summer camp. It's just over that hill, past that pine tree. I thought I'd be enough to protect you. But you deserve the truth.

You're acting like I'm never going to see you again. If its just a summer camp...

Bahhhhhhhhhh-

Oh look, a goat. Hey little guy-

Paaaaaaercy!

AAAH! Grover? what are you doing here?...And what happened to your legs?

What happened on the field trip?

You said it didn't matter!

He met a Fury.

YOU'RE all furry! What happened to your legs?

I'm a satyr! I'm half goat.

And you couldn't have mentioned that sooner?

oh no.

What's a Minotaur?

Half-bull.

like you

I'm half-goat!

Well, I'm sorry if this is a lot to take in right now!

Boys! Grover you need to get Percy to the border.

What about you?

You heard your mom!

I'm not leaving her! If Mrs. Dodds was really a monster, I hope you're really a sword... Awesome!

You want my son, you have to answer to me

Mom no! ...mom?

go

NOOO!! I got him whoaaa

You drool when you sleep.

Wait, what? Where am I?

You had an accident. You're safe now. Your friend Grover carried you here, and I gave you ambrosia. It heals almost any injury. Unless I gave you too much and it kills you.

Where is Grover? I had this dream, he was a goat there was a bull, and my mom- Where's my mom?

You'll get used to Mr. D. He can be a bit... Well. He hates children.

I thought you were a Latin teacher

More like Ancient Greek. My true name is Chiron. And my real job is training demi-gods. Half-bloods... Like you

So everything that crazy guy said is true

Do you think the Greek gods stopped existing just because people stopped believing in them? They're all around us. And so are their children.

But I'm not... I mean, this has to be a mistake. Let me talk to my mom she'll clear this up. Where is my mom?

Grover said she fought bravely but a mortal woman against a minotaur...

It wasn't a dream. She's really gone.

I'm so sorry, Percy.

It's my fault. She was trying to protect me.

You mustn't blame yourself.

You say the gods are real. So how could they let that happen?

Tough first day?

Before this morning, I didn't believe in any of this.

...he's a dead-beat god. I get how you feel. I was your age when I found out my dad was Hermes, the messenger god. You know, Old Wings-On-His-Shoes?

Have you ever met him?

once

And?

I'm Luke. I'm gonna be your counselor. The Hermes cabin takes anyone who hasn't been claimed. You know what that means? We're literally the reject cabin. Welcome to the dysfunctional family.

Thanks. Luke

I'm sorry. Satyrs are supposed to be protectors. I'm the worst satyr in the world-

Grover. I'm glad you're here

Capture the Flag

What's going on? And are you ever going to wear pants again?

You're going to need this.

It's a sword.

Haven't you played capture the flag before?

Not with swords!

It's not a lightsaber.

You're my dream girl! I mean.... the girl I saw.... when I was dreaming....

This is Annabeth. Our cabins are on the same team. See, cabins are grouped by parent. And each cabin has certain...gifts. I figure, if we find what you're good at maybe that'll give us a clue about your dad.

I don't have any gifts

You have ADHD, right? Dyslexia too?

Yeah, but...

Letters float off the page when you read because your mind is hardwired for ancient Greek. And the ADHD - you're impulsive, you can't sit still in class. Those are your battlefield reflexes.

So who's YOUR dad?

He's a history professor

He's human? But I thought...

My mom is Athena. Goddess of wisdom. Sexist much?

No! I mean, I love girls! I mean... I think they're... really nice!

Capture the Flag isn't about being nice. It's about proving to the gods that we're tough, powerful and victorious in battle!

She's Kind of intense

You should see the captain of the other team.

Who's the captain of the other team?

I am

Ahhhh

I'LL PUT YOU IN

I'LL PUT YOU IN

I'LL PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE

We have to beat Her?

Yep. Hide in a tree!

What about me? I don't know my talent yet.

I have a special job for you. Go to the boys' bathroom.

And?

Battle!

Okay. just stay here. Just stay in the bathroom and stay out of ...

What's that noise?

It's not me. It's- the TOILET!!!

Whoa, what happened here?

I...had...an...accident?

Not bad for your first day

You set me up!

I dont know what your talking about.

You told me to hide in the bathroom. you knew Clarisse would go after me. I was part of your plan!

A: You mean distracting Ares' best warrior so I could capture their flag? Smart plan.

she could've Killed me!

The plan would've worked either way.

I thought Athena was all about books! And reading!

She is. Also battle strategy. Look, I needed that win. I need to prove to my mom I'm a champion, so I can get a quest.

A quest?

The biggest honor a half-blood can get. But it doesn't matter. No one will be talking about

my victory tonight. They'll be too busy talking about yours. How'd you drench Clarisse the Beast anyway?

I don't know, it was like the water in the toilet just responded to me... What?

I really hope that doesn't mean what I think it means...

What? what does what mean?

Come on, grab some dinner and let the nectar flow!

Why did she scrape part of her plate into the fire? Is the food here that bad?

Yeah, who's your godly parent?

Oh, I don't know.

Go on. Make your offering.

To my dad. Whoever he is!

Check it out! The stars!

What's going on?

I told you, sometimes the gods send a sign.

Is that a... fork?

It's a trident. It seems your godly parent has claimed you after all. All hail Perseus Jackson, Son of the Sea God- Poseidon.

My dad's Poseidon? Oh Sweet! what? Luke, whats going on?

I don't know, he'd be a lot safer as a dolphin. We all would! Hear that thunder? Zeus knows we've got him and he ain't happy!

Wait.ZEUS? Like, the King of the Gods? I don't understabd, why is he mad at me?

No, he needs to know. Haven't you noticed that there aren't any other little sea godlings running around? No sons of Hades or daughters of Zeus? The Big Three gods aren't supposed to have kids!

The big three?

Kronos' most powerful sons. Zeus, Hades...

... and Poseidon

And you know why? Because they're always trouble. So where'd you stash it? Better 'fess up now, or I'll get the Hekatonkheires to pat you down. He's called the Hundred-Handed One so, y'know, THAT won't be fun.

Stash what?

You're right, you can't fake being that stupid, unless you're a brilliant actor and I'm also the god of drama so I can tell you: he's not. But as long as Zeus thinks he stole it, we're all gonna suffer. So: we're all agreed. One dolphin coming right up-

Braccas Meas Vescimini... Did I just speak Latin?

You told me to eat my pants. He's got more fire than I thought.

Wait. What does Zeus think I stole?

His Lightning

His lightning. Sorry. His lightning?

And not some crummy tin-foil zig-zag from a highschool musical. We're talking two feet of celestial bronze, capped with god-level explosives. Another god can't touch it. A mortal would be incinerated. Gee, I wonder who that leaves? A half-blood!

I didn't take anything!

We know that. But Zeus is the "guilty until proven innocent" type of god, and your existence

alone is suspicious.

So what happens to me now

One reasonable thing. But it could be dangerous. You must go to the attic. Speak to our mummy.

when you say mummy.. thats like Old person for mom right?

Be brave, Percy. Because if you fail.. all the gods will be at war.

Is anyone up here? hello?

Hello...hello...hello

Just an echo. Guess no one's here after- AAAHHHH

It's got to mean Hades right?

Why Hades?

The Underworld is in Los Angeles

Actually, I'm not surprised.

Hades has always been jealous of his brothers. And with every war, his own kingdom expands. If he's stolen the bolt to incite a war between Zeus and Poseidon, we have to stop him. And I'm afraid by "we"... I mean you.

What?

Annabeth's right. Your dad needs a hero to clear his name. This quest could be the whole reason he claimed you.

You mean beacuse he need me? where was he when I got kicked out of school ? or when we couldn't pay the rent? Or when my mom... Forget it. Im staying here

I'm afraid that's not an option.

what

I'm sorry, Percy. Mr. D was right. As long as you're here, Zeus will punish the entire camp. Which means...

You're going to expel me. Again.

Pro tip. When you're the son of Poseidon and you want to be alone... Don't go to the lake.

First place they'll look. Don't worry. I won't tell Chiron you're here.

Look at the Waves. It's like the sea and the sky are fighting

They are. When the gods are mad, they want everyone else to know. I went on a quest last summer. My dad told me to steal a golden apple from some garden. It wasn't important, the world wasn't at stake. Who knows, maybe he thought it would be fun to watch. Or he had a craving for apples. Anyway, I got the apple, but there was a dragon guarding it. So I also go this scar. That's when I realized: the gods don't care about us, or if we get hurt. I get it. If it were my dad, I wouldn't go either.

It's not just that. The Oracle said I'd be betrayed by a friend. That even if I find the bolt, I'd fail

That's pretty good for the Oracle. Look, prophecies are weird, they don't always mean what you think they mean. And I'm not gonna say you owe your dad anything because you don't. But what about your mom?

My mom's gone

From this world... but if she's anywhere... she'd be in..

.....The Underworld

And I'll be the second first!

Aw, Grover I can't ask you to come.

Look for DOA records

It's a record company? Actually, I'm not surprised.

Don't get eaten by monsters!!

Wait, monsters, who said anything about monsters-

Perseus Jackson, I'd like you to meet my sisters!!

I liked you better when you were a math teacher!

Submit now, or suffer eternal torment!

I'm suffering now!

Get off the bus! Now!

Guys... we just exploded a bus.

Yep

That was being attacked. By demon triplet math teachers.

Oh yeah

Is the whole trip going to be like this?

Children come inside!

Hello, ma'am.

Trust me. if we told you...you wouldnt belive it

we're fine, Ma'am, we're just camping

In a storm like this? Poor dears! Aunty Em will find you a place to stay.

She seems nice wow did you make all these statues yourself