Senior Show

Ferris: Are you seriously blaming me for Wall Street being weak? […] Most of that was kids ditching school and spending money like it was their last day on Earth.

Ferris’s day off showed us what YOLO really means

hey, you’re back from your date already? how’d it go?

ugh, just terrible! you wouldn’t even believe it

well, now you have to spill the tea. what did he do? we did talk about breadcrumbing, right

it was even WORSE. he talked about his 24 pairs of pants for like- half an hour!

NO way

WAY. you’d think a guy would own something other than capris!! anyway, we sat down for dinner, and he started talking about … (looks around, loudly whispering) FINGERING

oh my gosh! just out of the blue?

yes!! completely unprompted!!

you poor thing… what did you do next?

well, i was just so surprised that i didn’t do anything at first. i mean, he was kind of old! i didn’t expect him to just come out of the gate with that kind of stuff.

well, you never know with those older guys…

…yeah. i thought i’d misheard him for a while, so we ordered our food. but then we start eating, and he starts talking about how fast he is with his fingers!

again? ewww…

right??? i couldn’t eve make it past our appetizers. (sighs) he started talking about giving me a private lesson, and i knew i had to leave. i got out of there as fast as i could

ladies and gentlemen, is your man talking at length about capris, fingering, taking things fast, and private lessons? if so, that’s not your man! that’s italian violinist and composer nicolo paganini

what the heck, you’re the weird RA! how did you get in our room?

Nicolò Paganini lived from 1782 to 1840, and was known as an exceptionally talented virtuoso and composer […] Although his 24 Caprices are among his more well-known works, there are several other hidden gems- such as the piece you’re hearing right now, known as the Devil’s Laughter!

so he was telling me about his… music? not his 24 pairs of capris, or his skills in bed, or all the innuendos classical music is riddled with?

there sure have been!

UGH yah, the one who kept asking for- head

kerris smiles and nods

you’re… not uncomfortable with that very… obvious innuendo?

well, usually i would be! but not in this case. because joseph haydn was an austrian composer who was incredibly instrumental in

AGAIN??? how many old dead composers have i been on dates with???

it hurts to see others living your dream

just… give me the sparknotes please. i can’t take much more of this

so he really was just asking you about… head

yeah, i’m not doing this anymore (storms off)