Realistic Joneses Scene 11

(Enter)

Hey. What are you doing out here?

spoon with my mind.

Let me see. Where's the spoon.

That was the other problem.

I got you some candy.

Did you get all signed up?

Yeah. It's getting cooler.

It is.

You know what's weird and scary?

good to hear it again.

Seriously, to think that you and me aren't the greatest love story in the world. To think that we're just kind of a mess, and we're nice to each other, and we have fun sometimes.

That's kind of hard to think about.

I'm sure there's some saying about it. Where, since you can't face that you're not perfect, and not even close, you try to just make yourself into barely nothing. Do we do that?

I do.

I know you hate talking like this.

when the Universe was formed?

Yeah. I saw that show with you, remember?

That's such a great thing.

Yeah. Do you have something you're not telling me?

No.

Good, you're sure?

and I thought it all the time.

You did?

Yeah. I'm sorry.

Me too, I mean, I thought you might do that. You have that look.

Yeah.

I thought I might too. I always saw myself leaving you. In a really ugly way. Or just saying bye and going. Or not saying bye.

That's a big relief.

Come on.

No, it is.

I want to try to solve things with you.

We can get a van.

I like hoe you're always joking around. Sometimes I hate it, though. I just want to try to solve a few little problems with you, maybe like five a year.

Four.

Five.

Deal. Or, you know.

Yeah. We don't have any friends or relatives.

I guess he hasn't been doing too well.

That's too bad.

She won a gift certificate.

That'd be fun. I love gift certificates.

Or just drop dead, into my salad.

I wouldn't spend too much time planning, because I might not even show up at all. I'm a totally unreliable person that's filled with terror.

Maybe I'd hear that better if you whispered.

Terror. Now you do me. Abandonment.

Can I have a different one?

Loneliness?

Can I tell you something?

Do you have to?

I've sort of got this thing.

So? Don't look at me.