Interpersonal relationships

The 4 horsemen of the apocalypse?

• Criticisms

• Contempt

• Defensivness

• Stonewalling

Criticism?

Attacking your partners character usually to show you are right

Contempt?

Attacking your partners character with insults or abuse

Defensivness?

Arguing against the concerns of your partner, seeing yourself as the victim

Stonewalling?

Withdrawing from the relationship to avoid contact

Antidotes to the 4 horsemen

• Criticism = Gentle start up (i statements)

• Contempt = Build culture of appreciation

• Defensive = Take responsibility

• Stonewalling = Physiological self so-o-thing

Social penetration theory?

Close relationships are formed by a process of gradual self disclosure that is sharing a personal things about yourself to someone that you trust

Stages of social penetration (levels of disclosure)

• The orientation stage

• The exploration stage

• The affective stage

• The stable stage

The orientation stage?

Small talk. simple information about oneself without revealing anything that would revel vunerability

The exploratory stage?

One starts to reveal more about ones personal feeling and opinion but one safe topics

The affective stage?

Beginning to share information of a private/personal nature (intimate physical relation)

The stable stage?

One feels that they can be honest and open with a partner trust is strongly developed

What is the love cocktail?

A series of biochemicals that play a role in attraction

• Dopamine

• Noradrenaline

• Serotonin

Attachment behaviours?

Humans innate attachment systems that consist of behaviors and physiological responses

Vasopressin?

A hormone that plays a role in long term relationships

Evolutionary explanations of attraction?

• Natural selection

• Sexual selection

• Intrasexual selection

Sexual selection?

A facet of natural selection, how the best mate is chosen to produce and protect the most healthy offspring

Intrasexual selection?

Competition between one sex for access to mates

Limitation of evolutionary arguments?

• Evolutionary theories are based on the assumption that behaviors are inherited

• It is difficult to test empirically evolution based theories

• Evolutionary arguments often understate the role of cultural influences

• Does not explain all love relationships and mechanisms by which our genes choose the best mate for reproduction

Natural selection?

Those members of a specific species who have characteristics better suited to the environment will be more likely to breed

Similarity attraction model?

People like and are attracted to others who are similar rather than disimilar to themselves

Internal working model?

As children we form mental representations or schemas based on our first bonded relationships

Halo effect?

The tendency for an impression created in one area to influence opinion in another area

Evaluation of cognitive explanations of attraction?

• Most studies make use of actual dating sites (ecological validity)

• The approach is considered oversimiplistic when no used in combination with other approaches

• Some of the constructs are difficult to measure

• Cognitive theories account for personal difference in attraction

• Factors influencing relationship formation are impossible to isolate

Mere exposure effect?

The psychological phenomenon by which people tend to develop a preference for things simply because they are familiar with them

Cultural psychologists view on western love?

Passionate love is a western phenomenon

Evaluating sociocultural explanations of attraction?

• Unlike biological theories sociocultural theories account for cultural differences

• Several studies are experimental and can be replicated 

• The theories are less deterministic 

• Cultural research stresses the difference between cultures when there are more similarity than differences

• Possibly more globalized view of attraction 

• Most research ranks western qualities sought out in relationships 

Equity theory?

People are happiest in relationships were benefits and costs are balanced

Equity theory strenghts?

• Provides framework for understanding

• Supported by empirical evidence

• Emphasizes the importance of balance in realtionships

Limitations of equity theory?

• Faces cultural bias and assumes the need for equity is universal 

• Some individuals have different priorties 

• Dissatisfaction may cause perceived inequity 

• Overlooks other aspects of relationships

Social exchange theory?

Relationships are maintained through a cost benefit analysis. the costs must not outweigh the benefits

Strengths of social exchange theory?

• Matches how people may feel in real life

• When we put in the same effort as someone else they get more reward

Limitations of social exchange theory?

• Not all relationships are based only on fairness or equal exchange 

• People may give more because they care not because they expect the same

Fatal attraction theory?

What attracted us to out partners in the first place may end up being the reason the relationship end

Strengths of Fatal attraction theory?

• Empirical support

• The concepts can be applied in the real world

Limitations of Fatal attraction theory?

• Most research is western based

• Interpretation of traits may be subjective 

• Theory may not account for all the factors involved in relationship breakdown

Boredom?

Subjective feeling or reduced excitments’s novelty and emotionall engagment

Limitations of boredom theory?

• Dependents on subjective judgements, based on what people feel

• Doesn’t explain causation

• Doesn’t explain how categories are learned or found

Strengths of boredom theory?

• Explains how passion declines

• Identifies boredom is not always the direct cause of breakups

• Suggests that a lack of new experiences due to a routine creates boredom and prevents partners from growing together