HDFS 120 Exam 2 Materials

A family’s love is

The family is usually our earliest and most important source of  love and emotional support

Self love (1) essential

for our social and emotional development

Self love (2) prerequisite

for loving others

Self love (3) is

an important basis for self-esteem

People who like themselves are more

open to criticism and less demanding of others

Those who don’t like themselves seek

relationships that will bolster their poor self-image

8 + Qualities of friendship

enjoyment, acceptance, trust, respect, mutual support, confiding, understanding, honesty

8 Qualities of love (romantic love)

sexual desire, priority over other relationships, and caring to the point of great sacrifice

When you feel safe enough to tell someone your needs, you probably have experienced happiness

applies to both friendship and romantic love

A relationship can start off with friendship and develop into love

love, like friendship, develops over time

There is no universally agreed-upon definition of love

it varies in degree, intensity, and in different social contexts

At the very least, love includes

caring, nuturing, intimacy, and commitment

Sexual arousal = lust

a physiological rather than an emotional repsonse, occurs either consciously or unconsciously

Sexual arousal/lust is

fleeting and instinctual

Sexual desire (1) a psychological state

in which a person wants to obtain a sexual object that one doesn’t now have

Sexual desire (2)

a psychological state in which a person want to engage in sexual activity in which one isn’t now engaging

Caring

helping another person by providing aid and emotional support

Intimacy

 physical, affective, emotional, and verbal (self-disclosure)

Self-disclosure

communication in which one person reveals their honest thoughts and feelings to another person with the expectation that open communication will follow

You can’t do care, be intimate, or self-disclose without

safety or connection

Caring + intimacy =

commitment

Commitment

 a person’s intention to remain in a relationship and work through problems

Many relationships end, even if love is present

if there is no mutual commitment

Positive aspects of commitment

affection, companionship, trust

Romantic love is associated with common beliefs

love at first sight, fate, destiny

Romantic love is ignited by future factors such as similar

social class, physical attractiveness, and need for intimacy

Examples of romantic love

obession, longing, loss of sleep, ecstacy

Traits of long-term love

demanding, altruistic, gestures are less tangible and materialistic, grows and develops

Examples of long-term love

Patience, independence, making the other feel wanted, and putting others before self

Common to both romantic and long-term love

trusting, caring, communication, honesty, understanding, having fun together, respect, and friendship

Helping love flourish (1) good

relationships take work

Helping love flourish (2) what you

do more than what you say matters

Helping love flourish (3) love is

nurtured when we turn towards our partner rather than away or against

Helping love flourish (4) stable relationships

are always changing (individually and as partners)

Helping love flourish (5) forgiveness

is essential

Helping love flourish (6) partners must

have a self-identity outside of the relationship

Maturation

dating sends the message that an adolescent has become capable of engaging in developmental tasks such as emotional intimacy outside the family, and often sexual expression

Manifest functions of dating

maturation, fun and recreation, companionship, love and affection, mate selection

Latent functions of dating

socialization, social status, fufillment of ego needs, sexual experimentation and intimacy, and big business

Social status

enhances one’s status and prestige from dating

Fufillment of ego needs

boosts a persons self-esteem and self-image

Big business

dating provides a significant economic market for products and services such as clothing, grooming, food, and entertainment

The dating spectrum

traditional → contemporary → traditional contemporary

Examples of traditional on the dating spectrum

formal events and debutante

Examples of contemporary on the dating spectrum

informal events and hanging out

Traditional-contemporary

semi-formal events and dinner dates

The evolution of dating

colonial dating → 1920-1930s → ….2010s

Colonial period of dating (1) courtship

was meant to lead to marriage, marriage brought order and stability to family life

Colonial period of dating (2) men had

to get permission from the woman’s father before a courship could begin

Colonial period of dating (3) courtship was

chaperoned and happened in the middle to upper class

1920s-1930s (1)

marriage wasn’t the primary goal, dating for fun, pleasure

1920s-1930s (2) highly

gendered process and going steady with one person

1940s-1950s (1) the ultimate

goal returns to marriage as a lot of ppl died during the war

1940s-1950s (2) dating had

an emphasis on traditional roles and had a filtering process

1960s-1970s (1) Less

controlled by parents and dating shifting happened

Dating shift in the 1960s-1970s (1) women

intiated dates and intimate relationships, each person paid their own way

1960s-1970s (2) delayed

marriage, sexual intimacy no longer confined to marriage, and rise in cohabitation

1980s-1990s (1) begin dating

at an earlier age (as young as 13), dating is increasing in groups (group dates)

1980s-1990s (2) “dating” and

“going steady” are the things of the past

1980s-1990s (3) hooking up,

going with someone, and seeing described the experiences

1980s-1990s (4) a lot

of same-sex relationships and different races dating

2000s-2010s (1) increase

in long-distance relationships due to tech

2000s-2010s (2) social

media (pre-date stalking, catfishing, swiping and sliding in DMs

2010s-2020s

situationship, ghosting, breadcrumming, and conscious dating

Contemporary dating (1) less

based on traditional gender roles

Contemporary dating (2) more

casual sex, fewer committed relationships

Contemporary dating (3) marriage

isn’t the ultimate goal

Why do we break up?

individual (mirco) and structural (macro) reasons

Example of micro reason for breaking up

emotional abuse (between the two individual)

Example of macro reasons for breaking up

social pressures, poor with the wealthy

What’s the most common reaction to breaking up? (1)

confusion and anger

What’s the most common reaction to breaking up? (2) men

seem to get over the breakup more quickly than women

Is breaking up healthy?

yes, it opens up a larger pool of eligible and interesting partners as we mature

Singlehood in early America

stigmatized and non-normative

Early America viewed singlehood as stigmatized bc

it was viewed as defective, incomplete, sinful, unnatural, old maid

Early America viewed singlehood as non-normative bc

of religious beliefs, and practical reasons like economics

Political, social, and economic shifts have

changed the views from early America

Key factors in the increase of singlehood in 19-20th centural

industrialization, cultural views, occupation, and less stigma

Industrialization led to

financial independence

Cultural views in 19th-20th century

individualism and self reliance

More occupations for men and women caused

an increase in singlehood 19th-20th century

There’s an increase of singlehood in the 19th-20th century bc there’s

less stigma

In the 19th-20th century, marriage is viewed as

an option and not a necessity (to survive)

Singlehood facts today (1) significant

number of ppl choose not to marry for all or a large part of their lives

Singlehood facts today (2) those

who do choose to marry, do so by their mid-30s

Singelhood facts today (3) never married

increased for all racial/ethnic groups but with higher rates in African and Latino/as

Singelhood facts today (4) aging

and double standard, women are seen as “stale” whereas men are seen as “distinguished”

Push factors to marry

pressure from parents, cultural expectations, and loneliness

Push factors NOT to marry

view relationships as suffocating, obstables to self-development, high divorce rate

Pull factors to marry (1) parental

approval, marriages of friends, physical attraction

Pull factors to marry (2) emotional

attachment, and desire to have children

Pull factors not to marry (1) career

opportunities, sense of self-suffiency, freedom

Pull factors not to marry (2) psychological

and social autonomy, role models, and positive images

Some reasons for postponing marriage

Macro-level factors, demographic variables, and individual reasons

Macro-level factors for postponing marrage

war, tech, social movements, economy, and gender-roles

Demographic variables for postponing marriage

sex ratios, marriage squeeze, social class, residence, nonmarital childbearing

Individual reasons for postponing marriage (1) waiting

for a soul mate, being independent, enjoying close relationships

Individual reasons for postponing marriage (2) not waiting

for a commitment, having children, fearing divorce, and being healthy and physically attractive

Variability in types of singles

differences in how they view singlehood, length of singlehood, and satisfaction

Types of singles

voluntary temporary single, voluntary stable single, involuntary temporarily single, and involuntary stable single