My lines Danny m1 without P: and L:

Josh Giants? / Eve Cyclops Griffin

Human head body like a goat

Eve Fauns

Werewolves. Vampires.

Dave Obviously we can't do werewolves / or vampires

Im just riffing

Dave Giants...Centaurs...

Cyclops Griffin, Humanhead Goat /

Brian Okay

Giants, Centaurs, Cyclops / uh

Eve Manticore

What?

Spirals, concentric circles, swastikas, firewheels /

What site are you looking at? /

Well..Im Icelandic?

My sister just got back from Iceland

Iceland is like very hip these days

She showed me this picture that looked like a screensaver

Sarah enters with a menu and a sheet

Like there was a rainbow and a waterfall and / like an eagle.

Towards the menu Oooooh....

Its 11:30 already?

Has everyone met Sarah? You already know these idiots

HI SARAH /

I guess you'll be Danny M

But Im Danny M

Oh fuck. Thats weird. Someone needs a nickname

Flasheroo

What?!

I want everyone to call me Flasheroo

Fuck yeah Flasheroo!

He reaches across the table and high fives Danny M1

Yeah. Order whatever you want and um...oh. Let me know if there are any snakcs you want that we don't have.

You got great snacks, Sarah

Whats Uni again?

Roe

These guys know this...I mean you guys have been through this...

Dave and Danny M1 nod vigerously

Id say half the stuff on heathens was from our lives or just / stories we'd heard from other people

More than half.

What'd you say?

More than half of the stories. Were from our lives.

This is a sacred spaceand what we say here obviously tays in the cone of silence

The cooooooone

Whos Alejandra?

She was this crazy / person who-

We can do anything. Jeff and Victor have given me carte blanche

Amazing

she had to have boob-reduction surgery in college / boobs, and -

Why'd she date you

He doesn't have to

You can always say don't put this in the notes and he won't put it in the notes

I told him that night that I wanted to lose my virginity to him and he said something like sounds good / and

I bet

Chimera Chimera Chimera

Enough

Thats impossible

Gills? You dont have gills

Yes I do. All fetuses have gills but mine just stuck around. They're tiny. She pushes her hair back to show them her temples. They all lean forward. Some of them have to kind of scramble onto the table.

Fuck me

They all sit there while Sandy drinks from his thermos

I once had this crazy thing. Oh man. This is a weird story. I once had this crazy thing that uh...I don't know if it was like a male uh...UTI or whatever but uh...Cone of silence

cone cone cone of course cone

Okay this was in...I just want to say first of all that this was in the early years of marriage and I'm like the most loyal husband in the world now.

Oh Jesus

But right after Sly was born things were kind of weird between me and Ellen and you know you know we weren't having that much / sex

Thats what happens

But more than that we were just sort of disconnected and I felt like she hated me and right cutting to the chase I started sleeping with other people. That's not true. With this other woman. This woman I worked with. I'm going to say this again. Cone cone cone cone.

CONE

Anyway we were having this really hot affair but we were like, we were friends, and we were crazy attracted to each other but we both knew we weren't in Love, and we were both married, and we like...we like convinced ourselves that we weren't actually cheating on our spouses or like disrupting the sanctity of the marriage blah blah blah if we just, uh, fucked in the ass If I just fucked her in the ass. So we did that. For a while. I mean that's what we did.

You never fucked her fucked her?

I never did. OKay and this was the first and last affair I ever had. So I just want to say for the record that I have never actually had uh vaginal intercourse with anyone other than my wife since marrying my wife. Okay. So anyway we're fucking like / once a week...

...Iin the ass

Yes having incredible anal sex like once every week or so and uh one day I pee and it uh...it really hurts. / It just really hurts to pee

Were you wearing a condom?

I. Was. Not

So it was...what? Gonorrhea?

And I uhh...well I don't know what it was. I got so terrified that I have an STD and that I'm gonna have to tell Ellen and I just go into denial mode. So I stop fucking this woman at work but I also stop fucking Ellen because a I'm in pain and b I don't want to give Ellen this STD and it just starts getting worse and worse and it's like peeing razors. And it's not getting better, and my dick is like...how much detail do you want?

Lots of Detail

My dick starts oozing this kind of uh yellow stuff, like I'll find just like a drop of yellow oozy pus just sitting on the tip of my dick and I'm freaking out and I'm too scared to go to the doctor because he'll ask me about the kind of sex I've been having, and then one afternoon Ellen isn't home and I realise I haven't had a wank in like two weeks because I've been like running around behind Ellen's back and pretending I'm not in excruciating pain and anyway I'm home alone one day for the first time in a while and I know I shouldn't because I'm sore and I'll probably make it worse but...

Oh no

So I have a wank. And then I cum. And when I cum...it's the most like terrifying thing I've ever seen. I basically cum blood...

Fucking Christ

I cum this like enormous amount of jizz and blood and pus. And it hits the shower wall and it's the most disgusting thing in the world. It looks like someone was murdered. And I run to the kitchen and I get these paper towels and I start mopping the blood off the wall and while I'm mopping the blood off the wall I suddenly realise. I feel fine. I feel fine for the first time in weeks.

What? How / is that -

Like somehow it...whatever it was inside of me just needed to come out. I felt TOTALLY NORMAL again. And I thanked God and I never fucked this other woman again. Or anyone else. Except my wife.

So you never found out what it was?

Nope

And your wife didn't get sick?

Nope

I have no idea what we're talking / about

How do you see Time? I don't see Time. Time is not something you / see

Hes lost his mind Laughter

Maybe you should go home and take a nap

Hes such a...I watched Paragon like seven times / when I was -

Paragons not even his best work

Its a great book theyre waiting for me

Tell them that thing he used to say about boats. And/how

What do you mean about boats?

Like if it floats, don't...and is it just...I can't remember. If it fucks / or

Guess how old the worlds oldest animal is

What kind of animal?

This means that there is no theoretical limit to its life span but also that it is impossible to verify its age

Wow

No I get it it was just a weird thing with my mom I won't do it anymore They all watch Eleanor shell her egg for a while

That smells like farts

Sure I'll go. My dad shooting himself in the face

Wait, Really?

You know this story

I don't think I do

Thats awful

I don't think you did

Does it sound familiar now?

Maybe

Biggest Regret. Danny.

Let's see. Biggest regret. I guess I / always

Because they're like literally a lifetime!

Yeah

the past four yugas combined and then everything will start all over and people will be like nice to each other again

Huh

I guess only Sandy knows this but my mom died when I was thirteen?

Oh shit

Wait you guys really want to hear this? This isn't boring?

No

Hello! Oh there you all are!

Hey

Yes hello Dave!

Danny. / We

You've got a lot of big fans in this room

nudges or winks at Eleanor she mouths stop!!

Thank you [garbled] everyone

Bye

Yeah but he used to be so sexy

Hes still a good-looking guy

shed say uh did anyone know theres a solar eclipse tomorrow or or have you heard / about the war in -

She had insane dietary restrictions. But not just about what she ate. Like she couldnt be in the same room as certain. uh/ what was

Barbeque sauce!

Yeah she couldnt be in the same room as barbecue sauce!

Once I had barbecue sauce on my sandwich and she smelled it and ran like puking to the bathroom.

How many sick days did she take?

wed have to spend an hour filling her in!

Everything offended her

Dave Everything offended her

She would just say about everything: thats offensive

No, remember, she would say Im sorry, thats-

Do / her

Im sorry, but thats offensive

Thats what she sounded like

I dont know about that

She was in love with Sandy

She was always offended but she was also always flirting with everyone

She would talk about how she was unhappy in her marriage. She would say it point blank. Wed all get here in the morning and shed say: Im thinking of leaving my husband. / Just like that

this woman is crazy but were just gonna put up with it and not say anything

AND THEN

dont go ratting on me to HR. If you have a problem. Come talk to me

Yeah

Im a nice guy. I can take it. Just dont rat me out

pause AND THEN

huge damper on the creative vibes in the / room-

a huge damper

She disappeared. She never came back What? Thats so horrible.

She evaporated

She was batshit crazy and then she just took off

Also remember how she was obsessed with Bora Bora?

I had dinner plans

Its not a big deal. Once on Heathens we were here until three in the morning

Anybody want a probiotic?

Sure

Morning everyone!

Morning

What do you mean by that

Sometimes certain stories I mean Sandys a genius but sometimes not all his stories work out

But what does that mean

Sometimes they get cancelled. Or sometimes he pulls the plug on / them

Pulls the plug?

Sometimes he realises the idea isnt right or the room isnt right and he pulls the plug

Where you in a room that the - where the plug got puled?

Shakes head But the room before my first room with him was brutal. I shouldn't be talking about this. Almost everyone was fired. And then he pulled the plug. to brian You were the Sarah to that room, right?

What happens if youre not fired but he pulls the plug?

You go home

You still get paid?

You go home and you and still get paid

stands in the doorway wearing sunglasses hey

Hey

Ive only got a few minutes but / I wanted to stop and-

Oh no, is everything okay?

Yeah everythings fine Rachels doing a little better but things are pretty crazy so I gotta head home in a few / minutes

Please send her our love

I don't believe in filling my bathtub

What does that mean?

Is Sarah still here?

SARAH?

Ill stay as long as you guys stay! / Thats my job

Go home and be safe!

We can all order dinner. I called Hueys and theyre doing deliveries until nine

Great. Thanks

Rebirth is about deciding to change and become a better person

There are thirty-six types of stories in the world.Supplication, Crime by Vengeance, Pursuit, Disaster, Abduction, Murderous Adultery, Vengeance for Kin Upon Kin, Fatal Imprudence, Madness, Self-Sacrifice for Ideals, Self-Sacrifice for kin, All sacrificed for passion, Obstacles to Love, Conflict with a God, Mistaken Jealousy, Erroneous Judgement, Loss of a Loved one, Recovery of Loved Ones...Was that thirty-six?

That was like Nineteen

...Rivalry of Superior Versus Inferior, Ambition, An Enemy Loved. And Murderous Adultery.