Ch.12, 13. Work, Fam, Marriage, & Money

They key to harmony is to invest ur time & money in activities that enhance multiple domains that we value in our lives.

TRUE

7 Strategies that can help ur fam experience greater joy as juggle demands of work, fam, & church in harmony:

1. Enhance Energy

2. Increase Quality Time

3. Learn to Bundle

4. Focus on the Most Important Things.

5. Work Flexibly

6. Simplify ur Life

7. Center on the savior

1. Enhance Energy

**Depletion of energy: Main factor causing ppl to feel like there is conflict between work & their lives.

How to increase energy w/o reducing work hours:

• Make list of things we do at work that drains or energize us → do energizing things right before go home (caries most of energy home to fam).

• Make time to do things that are personally rewarding. (exercise, music..)

• Prayer- pray frequently at work

• Time Commute to & from work— conference talks, scriptures,

2. Increase Quality Time

To obtain life harmony, we must find ways to put each moment to its best use. imp. interactions happen in long periods of unstructured time.

**Life harmony study among subsample of U.S. IBM employees who r parents revealed: Meal Time protected ppl from conflict b/t work & family life.

• Reg meal time- Associated w/ less adolescent risk for variety of internalizing bxs (Depressed, suicide, bx prob).

Bedtime: child give parent undivided attention bc don’t wanna sleep.

• having consistent bedtime routine = better sleep for children & better mood for mothers.

Ways to increase quality time: (principle: when we make the effort to engage in meaningful activities w/ ppl we care abt, we r better able to provide for & nurture our fam harmony).

• create time for carefree play w/ children

• plan a time when all fam available for dinner

• make priority to be available during bedtime hour

3. Learn to Bundle

When one activity simultaneously serves purposes in 2+ aspects of life. Do 2+ things at same time.

When we do two or more things at the same time in harmony, we give that time period greater value.

4. Focus on the Most Important Things

**Examples:

• Keeping sabbath day holy— as free as possible from stressors of employment is KEY to focused harmony

• Weekly fam home evenings

• Fam vacation

Recognize: Fam take priority over other life domains.

5. Work Flexibly

Ability of workers to make choices abt when, where, & how long they engage in work-related tasks.

Ppl who provide for their fam in workplace flexibility jobs → are better able to nurture family members.

Examples:

• telecommuting

• flextime

• part-time

• leaves

Results of flexibility in work & fam life (part-time):

• Used their extra time to care for & nurture children

• Less work-to-fam conflict

• Greater work-fam success, childcare satisfaction, fam success.

Results of flexibility in work & fam life (telecommuters- mostly work from home):

• Greater job motivation, career opportunity, work-life balance, personal/fam success

• less likely to think abt leaving co.

6. Simplify Your Life

Voluntary simplicity—deliberately choosing to accumulate fewer possessions & engage in fewer activities than possible—aids in creating life harmony.

Key to do this financially: distinguish between needs & wants.

Look for ways to compose a life of modest means.

Examples:

• stay out of debt

• Reduce # of demands outside the home. eliminating low-value activities

7. Center on the Savior

Most important key in successfully providing for and nurturing our families in harmony.

When the primary focus of our life is to become a disciple of Jesus Christ, everything else falls into place.

We create harmony as we center on the Savior by building spiritual patterns in the home:

• Start day w/ fam scripture, prayer

• meaningful FHE

• be more diligent and concerned at home.

  • parents frequently bare testimony in front of kids, be consistent in this

• Presthood blessings

• read faith-filled inspirational stories at bedtime.

• bless the

  poor with our financial resources

**Financial Qs to answer abt potential spouse b/f getting married:

1. Are you a saver or spender?

2. What is your net worth?

3. What is ur attitude abt debt?

4. what is ur attitude abt financial help from fam?

5. what is ur credit score?

6. Do u currently have & live w/in a budget? If so, what r ur living expenses each month?

7. How r u paying for college edu?

8. How do u foresee sharing finances & assets w/ ur spouse a/f marriage?

9. How many children do u want in ur fam?

10. What is ur expectation abt who is going to earn the $ in ur fam?

11. What do u think abt tithing & other donations?

**Financing the Engagement & Wedding

• Engagement ring

• Wedding budget

  • Avg U.S. cost $35,329

  • Avg LDS cost 4k-16k

  • Principles:

    • Avoid debt

    • Jointly create & stick to budget

    • Dont over-spend on a honeymoon (**A quiet, private, inexpensive getaway is often better for the marriage than an elabo-rate, expensive tour)

**Principles for Handling Money in Marriage

1. Equal Partnership

   • husband and wife should agree before major purchases

2. Total Trust & Transparency

   • The way a couple manages money is indicative of their trust level.

   • all financial gains after the day of the wedding r kept in common.

3. Reducing & Eventually Eliminate Debt

   • both should agree on how to do this

4. Counsel w/ the Lord in all Financial Doings

**Practices for Handling Money in Marriage

1. Do ur budget together, & review it frequently.

   • reflect the needs and wants of both spouses and the children

2. Make Major Purchases Together.

   • Fail-ure to heed this counsel has been the cause of many divorces

3. Agree to Spending Limits

4. Sleep on it

   • never make a major purchase on the spot.

   • buyer’s remorse is less likely, and couples are less likely to blame one another if the purchase doesn’t work out well.

5. Deal With Financial Disagreements Constructively (remember H.A.L.T)

6. Mad Money