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No study sessions yet.
she was working alone and
visibly weakening with every line
Franklin H Wheeler was among the few
who bucked the current
and the happy implication that they alone
were painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture
Hadn’t she given him every
possible encouragement for months?
he made the most of it. Sentences poured from him
paragraphs composed themselves and took wing
most of her memories were crisply told
and hard to sentimentalize
the fact that girls could actuallly
want to go to bed with him
A shrill metallic whine cut
through the silence of his sleep
a small stain of drying milk and cereal was all that remained of the childrens breakfast:
the rest of the kitchen gleamed to an industrial perfectionn of cleanliness
it seemed to him now that no single moment in his life had ever contained better proof of his manhood than
holding that tamed submissive girl while she promised to bear his child
whose subject was a tall, proud girl with deeper breasts and hips than
he thought fashion models were supposed to have
he sat with the look of a man condemned to a very slow, painless death
he felt middle aged
how she talks and talks
and never says anything
Isn’t this the damndest thing
he would demand of April tonight?
his face obediently paled and gaped into
the look of a man stunned by bad news
must make him look the
picture of an underling
hundreds of tiny pink men in white shirts
acting out their passionate little dumb show
the whole slow dry agony of this place would be
cut away from his life like a tumour from his brain
it’s been spreading like a disease for years, for generations
until now, everything you touch is flabby with it
I felt
full of blood
We’re like a litter of suckling pigs waiting for a free tit
oh of course we’re all very well mannered
splayed on the carpet like toads, they were tough and knuckled with bunions, curling ton hide their corneous toenails
she stuffed them quickly into her norwegian slipper socks
Did other men feel distaste at the
sight of their own children?
Oh Jesus God,
to be there with April Wheeler
his main tactical problem
in the initial stage of the campaign
I mean it’s a wonder you could
survive a childhood like that
he atoned for his meekness by
staring critically at her tense, quivering buttocks
And what about me?
How am I supposed to feel?
Listen to me. In the first place you
know goddamn well you love me
tough and female and
adequate as hell
You must give him a pretty bad time if making babies is the only way
he can prove he’s got a pair of balls
throughout this period, he had schooled himself
to be more than ordinarily fond of Milly
he had won.
but he didn’t feel like a winner
he felt himself more than ever a victim of the world’s indifference.
It didn’t seem fair
he had been a professional for twenty years
without quite learning his craft
as he miserably pressed
and mauled her