March 25th

These flashcards cover key concepts related to positive relationships and communication patterns discussed in the lecture.

Criticism

Attacks the character of the recipient instead of focusing on a specific behavior.

Contempt

An expression of superiority that includes sarcasm, cynicism, name calling, eye rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humor; the greatest predictor of relationship failure.

Defensiveness

Self protection through righteous indignation or playing the victim; a way of blaming the partner without taking responsibility.

Stonewalling

Occurs when the listener withdraws from the conversation without resolving anything.

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Negative communication patterns identified by Dr. John Gottman that predict relationship failure: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

Antidote to Criticism

Talk about your feelings using 'I' statements to express a positive need.

Antidote to Contempt

Treat one another with respect and build a culture of appreciation.

Antidote to Defensiveness

Accept responsibility even if only for part of the conflict.

Antidote to Stonewalling

Take a break for at least twenty minutes, calm down, and then return to the conversation.

Positive Relationship Deposits

The idea that positive interactions in relationships act like deposits in a bank account, needing to outweigh negative interactions.

John Gottman's Research

Studies show that happy, stable couples have a higher ratio of positive to negative interactions, ideally 5 to 1 or 20 to 1.

Acts of Service

One of the 'love languages'; refers to completing tasks or duties that are helpful.

Quality Time

Spending meaningful time together to enhance relationships, often involving authentic conversations.

Active Constructive Responding

A positive way of responding to someone's good news that shows interest and excitement.

Forgiveness

The process of letting go of resentment or anger towards someone who has hurt you, involving emotional understanding.