Attachment/Parenting Styles

Pre-Attachment

Pre-Attachment

(Birth to 6 weeks)

-No real attachment to a particular caregiver

-Signals by crying, fussing in order to get caregivers attention

-Baby is able to be left with another person

Indiscriminate Attachment

(6 weeks to 6-8 months)

-“Attachment in the making”

-Begins to show a preference for a caregiver

-However, the baby will still accept care from another

Discriminate Attachment

(6-8 months to 2 years)

-Clear attachment to one person, will protest when separated

-Separation anxiety

-Caregiver still exists when not in the room (object permeance)

-Anxiety around strangers

Multiple Attachments

(After 9 months)

-Increasing Independence

-Based on mobility (they are independent because they can walk/run

-growth in language

-Able to predict leaving/returning of caregiver

-Separation anxiety declines

-Increased attachments/strong bonds

Proximity Maintenance

Baby doesn’t want to be separated from attachment figure (clinging to leg)

Secure Base

The attachment figure is the base of security in which the child will explore the environment (plays with a toy but only near the caregiver)

Separation Distress/Anxiety

When the attachment figure leaves, the baby will react badly, but this will usually dissipate in time (crying when the caregiver goes to work)

Safe Haven

Attachment figure is where the child goes for safety when afraid or stressed (playing with other kids but coming back to the caregiver when hurt)

Secure Attachment

-Distressed when the caregiver leaves, excited when they return

-Prefer caregiver to strangers, seek comfort

As Adults: Trusting relationships and are comfortable with sharing feelings

Ambivalent-Insecure Attachment

-Distressed when caregiver leans, not happy when they return (rejects contact)

As Adults: reluctant to be close to people, tough time believing their partner loves them, and don’t handle relationships ending

Avoidant-Insecure Attachment

-No preference of caregiver over stranger

-Doesn’t care when caregiver leaves, doesn’t seek contact

As Adults: problems with intimacy, invest little emotion in relationships, unable to show feelings

Disorganized-Insecure Attachment

-Resistant behavior, may seem dazed, confused, or apprehensive

As Adult: may develop parental role to caregiver, act out, violent, unable to control emotions

Authoritarian

-Control

-No tolerance

-Obedience

-Preserving Order

-Strict

-High Expectations

Child Reactions:

-Lower reasoning skills'

-Lower self regulation

Authoritative

-Directing Activity with choice

-Choices on consequences

-Share reasoning

-Same control but not as many restrictions

-Respect the child’s independence/privacy

Childs Reaction:

-Understand rules

-Self-sufficient

-Confident

Permissive

-No demands

-Can do whatever

-Spoil

-No consequences

-Try to be the child’s friend

-Parents like this are usually in a midlife crisis

Childs Reaction:

-No respect for Authorities

-Believes they can get away with anything

Neglectful

-Parent puts self above child

-Provides basic needs (food or shelter)

-No interaction

Childs Reaction:

-Disorganized or Avoidance Attachment

-Low self esteem

Tiger Mom

VERY Authoritarian, high expectations, no room for error

Helicopter Parent

“Swoop In” at any sign of danger, refuse to let child fail

Snowplow/Lawnmower Parent

Operate out of entitlement rather than fear, believe their child is perfect and can do no wrong