Happiness & Communication Midterm

Rituals

A pattern of performing behaviors that allows us to maintain said behaviors. Done by performing precise behaviors at specific times, motivated by deeply held beliefs

Self-Concordant goals

Goals pursued out of a deep personal conviction and/or strong interest. They are integrated with a person’s identity, and are held close to their core values

Intrinsic Goals

Goals that are pursued not out an external/extrinsic reward, but are rather motivated by the inherent interest, fun, and enjoyment of the activity itself. 

Gratitude Journal

An activity that is recommended by both Tal Ben-Shahar and Dr. Laurie Santos in which a person writes a few (typically 3-5) things that they are grateful for in a journal each day. Those who do this report higher levels of emotional and physical well being

Meditation

A practice that involves using mindfulness to focus on a particular object or activity, such as the breath, a mantra, or an image (most commonly breath). It has a multitude of profound benefits, from cognitive function, to reduced blood pressure, to improved mood and lowered stress levels

Pleasure

Positive emotions and sensations, associated with present benefit. Necessary to motivate us to do anything

Meaning

The attribute associated with purpose and fulfillment, what we ultimately strive for beyond simple positive emotions

Purpose

A goal that provides a sense of direction and imbues our individual actions with meaning., Often we feel that we need to fulfill our potential in order to achieve this

Hamburger Model

A model that depicts the four archetypes of patterns and behaviors that people take in relation to happiness. The four archetypal burgers are (1) tasty and unhealthful, (2) tasteless and healthful, (3) tasteless and unhealthful, and (4) tasty and healthful. They correspond to hedonism, rat racing, nihilism, and happiness archetypes

Negative Happiness

A flawed understanding of happiness as simply the absence of negative emotions or suffering. Stems from negation of stress and anxiety; relief

Hedonist

The archetype in which a person seeks immediate pleasure without regard to future consequences. Brings present benefit and future detriment. It involves no long-term purpose, and is devoid of challenge.

Rat Racer

The archetype in which a person sacrifices their current situation in order to be rewarded in the future. However, even upon the realization of their goals, (aside from brief negative happiness) they are still unhappy. Thus, it is associated with present detriment, and future benefit

Nihilist

The archetype in which a person has given up on happiness, and becomes resigned to the belief that life has no meaning. They are attached to past failures and have developed ‘learned helplessness’

Happiness Archetype

The archetype in which a person maximizes the amount of time they spend on activities that give them both present benefit and future gain. 

Present

A hedonist is chained to the…

Future

A rat racer is chained to the…

Past

A nihilist is chained to the…

Happiness

The overall experience of pleasure and meaning

Arrival Fallacy

The mistaken belief that reaching a significant goal will result in lasting happiness and contentment, when in reality, the joy of achieving something is often fleeting, and a sense of emptiness or a desire for the next goal often follows

Floating moment/world fallacy

the belief that immediate pleasure, cut off from future purpose, can bring happiness

Ultimate currency

A framework for viewing life that considers happiness as the ultimate end, the end to which all means lead. A human, like a business, has gains and losses, but it is not in money, it is in…

Fault Finder

A negative approach to life where one focuses on finding faults rather than appreciating the good in situations

Active Presence

The practice of being fully engaged and mindful in the present moment, rather than passively observing it

Time Affluence

The feeling that one has sufficient time to pursue activities that are personally meaningful

Time Poverty

The feeling that one is constantly stressed, rushed, overworked, and behind

Anxiety

A common mental health condition characterized by excessive worry, fear, and nervousness

Depression

A common mental health condition characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and loss of interest or pleasure in activities

Happiness Booster

Activities that combine pleasure and meaning that can function as a ‘candle in a dark room’ and improve our happiness during stretches in which the majority of a person’s time must be spent on unhappy things. They can also improve happiness in any context, but are especially useful during these ‘happiness droughts’

The Drowning Model

The model in which our action is motivated by a desire to free ourselves from pain

The lovemaking model

Makes working on something and then finishing it or having a concept click in your head analogous to lovemaking

Flow

A state in which a person achieves peak experience and peak performance; they experience pleasure and perform at their best. By being immersed in their experience, enjoy present benefit and future gain at the same time

Mindfulness

An energy that brings deep awareness to the present moment, allowing us to be fully present in our bodies and with our surroundings

The underprivilege of privilege

The phenomenon in which those who have it easy are actually less happy because their life is devoid of challenge

Work as a calling

People tend to experience work in three ways, as a job (show up each day because you have to) as a career (focus is placed on achievement and advancement) and this. In the final option, people experience both pleasure and meaning in their work

Meaning, pleasure, strengths (MPS) process

The process that helps to find the best suited work to be a person’s ‘calling’. The process involves writing down our attributes into three categories and finding where they overlap

Monkey Mind

A Buddhist metaphor for the restless, distracted, and chaotic nature of ordinary human thought, like a monkey swinging from branch to branch

Self-Compassion

The practice of mindfulness to become present with our own body and feelings, acknowledging our suffering without judgment, so we can "come home" to ourselves

The Two Keys to Compassionate Communication

Deep listening and loving speech

Deep/compassionate listening

Listening with the intent to help the other person suffer less

Loving speech

A practice of compassionate, truthful communication aimed at alleviating suffering and promoting peace, and it involves speaking with love and understanding, avoiding blame and judgment

Tell the truth, don’t exaggerate, be consistent (no double talk), use peaceful language

The four elements of right speech

Double speak/talk

Speaking about something in one way to one person and in an opposite way to another for selfish or manipulative reasons

I am here for you, I know you are there, and I am very happy, I know you suffer, and that is why I am here for you, I suffer, please help, this is a happy moment, you are partly right

6 Mantras of loving speech

Speak language of the world, speak in ways that reflect a person’s ability to receive the teaching, give the right teaching according to context, teach in a way that reflects the absolute truth

The four criteria that should be contained in any teaching

Compassionate Communication

A practice of listening with empathy and speaking with kindness, emphasizing deep listening and loving speech to foster mutual understanding and resolve conflict

Mindful breathing

A focus on the present moment with special attention placed on your own breath, in order to ground yourself and listen to your own body. A means communication within your own body, between the mind and body

Suffering

Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that avoiding this is not the path to happiness; rather, true joy and happiness come from facing, understanding, and transforming it

Action Plan

Emphasizes the importance of applying happiness principles in daily life rather than just understanding them intellectually. Both Ben-Shahar and Santos encourage this

Wholebeing

The practice of cultivating happiness by integrating all dimensions of human existence — not just fleeting pleasure or achievement, but mind, body, heart, and spirit together. I.e., the spire model

Spiritual, physical, intellectual, relational, emotional

SPIRE Model of wellbeing

we have control over our happiness, life circumstances matter little, takes a lot of work every day, intuitions are lying to you, make time for social connections, helping others helps us, make time for gratitude, prioritize physical health, stay present, gain time affluence

Dr. Laurie Santos top 10 tips to be happy

Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar

Internationally renowned Israeli author, speaker, and positive psychology expert who taught two of Harvard's most popular courses, "Positive Psychology" and "The Psychology of Leadership"

Dr. Laurie Santos

A Yale psychology professor, expert in human cognition and happiness, and host of the popular podcast The Happiness Lab

Ravishing Reagan, Bubbly Brianna, Happiness in Children’s Films, movies can build empathy within children, children’s movies associate appearance too closely with happiness, children are happier when they are represented in films

Presentation 1

Kick ass Katie, Sweet Sarah, Happiness and Food, fruit and vegetables linked to higher well being, food amplifies positive emotions, eating with others is better

Presentation 2

Lasagna Principle

Even if something provides us present and future benefit, that doesn’t mean we will enjoy doing it all day every day

Helping others helps us, happiness boosters, happiness isn’t fixed, inherent worthiness, fragility of life, prioritize time

Tal Ben-Shahar 6 meditations

Genetics (50%), circumstances (10%), attitude/choices (40%)

Three factors determining happiness