The Anxious Generation

What is the Mars Comparison?

The book begins with a comparison between a parent sending a child on a mission to Mars, despite all the obvious concerns and uncertainties.

The parent would not let the child go, yet many parents let their children use social media/smartphones despite obvious concerns and uncertainties.

Discuss the relationship between tech companies and tobacco companies in the 80's.

Both companies create(d) products that are highly addictive and then bend the law to market their products to children.

Compare the effects of social media on children versus adults.

- Children's brains are still developing.

- They are in particularly vulnerable stages, especially during puberty.

- The stakes are higher for kids as their brains are still being wired

What are some of the trends that appeared technologically for Gen Z?

- high-speed internet

- iPhone introduced

- likes, shares, (followers)

- selfies (front-facing camera)

What is the main claim of this book?

The main claim is that overprotection in the "real world" and underprotection in the "virtual world" have led Gen Z to become the "Anxious Generation".

What are the 4 parts of the book?

1) mental health trends since 2010

2) nature of childhood and how we messed it up

3) harms of (new) phone based childhood

4) what to do to reverse the damage

What are the 4 foundational reforms?

1) No smartphone before high school

2) No social media before 16

3) Phones are not allowed during school

4) more unsupervised play

What are the 2 mental illnesses that are most prevalent in Gen Z?

1) anxiety

2) depression

Both have risen steeply since 2010

What makes us believe that changes in anxiety and depression are not just made up "self reporting"

We also saw an increase in behaviour i.e increased hospital visits, self harm and suicide attempts.

What is meant by the term "forever elsewhere"

An MIT professor coined this term. The amount of time spent using smartphones by kids is so high that even when they are doing normal things like eating and being in class, they must be on their phones or thinking/worrying about what's in the virtual world.

What is the great rewiring and when did it occur?

The great rewiring occurred from 2010 - 2015.

It represents the period in which intro of high-speed internet, smartphones, social media, and selfies changed social relationships, physical activity, and leisure time for teens. Girls began comparing themselves, and boys got sucked into games, porn, and YouTube.

Why does the idea that "mental illness has gone up because the world is bad" not hold up?

- as economic prospects improve, depression is still rising (unemployment rate falling)

- Why would these bad things affect girls more than boys?

- History shows that people's mental health falls when isolated (when people rally around a threat collectively, they get energised

Past social activists showed higher rates of happiness than activists today (it appears due to social media's way of activism participation)

Why do children take so long to grow into adults compared with other mammals?

- Human childhood is long, so that kids have time to learn

- Social learning is essential for kids, and evolution slowed things down so that they can learn a lot

Describe "free play"

Free play refers to kids playing for the sake of playing, without an ulterior motive.

- It is how kids learn most of their social skills

- need to be able to make mistakes to get feedback and learn

What are the benefits of free play?

- low risk environment

- practice skills

- receive feedback and repetition

Why can phones be considered "experience blockers"?

Because they reduce the amount of time that can be spent having real-world, "free play" experiences.

Discuss attunement

Attunement refers to the capacity for children/adults to "tune" their behaviour in a serve and return style with other people.

Babies can mimic faces and learn the back and forth via games like peek a boo.

Children grow and learn from each other, but asynchronous lifestyles, such as online gaming and posting comments, are ruining this. This affects emotional regulation.

How is social media the most efficient conformity engine?

Conformity attraction takes weeks in the real world, yet online, it can be done within an hour, with thousands of posts and likes to determine success or failure. - Following social norms makes people feel safe

What are the two biases that assist with social learning?

Conformity bias - copying what most people do

Prestige bias - copying those that excel in a valuable domain - social media encourages kids to idolise figures whose antics aren't particularly "socially valuable"

What is discover mode (BAS) and defence mode (BIS)?

The behavioural activation system turns on when you are involved in an experience that can provide you with a benefit- finding food in the jungle.

The behavioural inhibition system operates when you are in a potentially threatening situation.

Depending on which state you are in, you are likely to feel excitement, curiosity, OR anxiety and safety seeking.

Discuss the concept of "anti fragile"

Wine glass = fragile, cup = resilient.

But resilient does not mean grows stronger, it just means it does not get weaker.

Antifragile refers to something that actually needs stress to become stronger - immune system, trees, CHILDREN

Discuss 2 parenting styles mentioned in the book.

1) concerted cultivation - parents try to grow their child into being competent e.g, maths, reading, chess, etc

2) natural growth parenting - parents allow their children to play more, give them more autonomy, and less structured days

Are parents adopting "concerted cultivation" parenting more? Why/why not?

Yes.

Due to the competitiveness of colleges, parents believe their kids will excel if they are more academically inclined.

With changes in tech, e.g, more news and more access to parent "experts," parents are paranoid. The most important change is the lack of "adult solidarity".

What is adult solidarity with relation to parenting.

It refers to other adults looking out for kids in the neighbourhood.

This has reduced due to the urbanisation of areas + the rising phobia of sex pests, abusers and "stranger danger". In the past, parents could trust that local neighbours would look after their kids if the child were in danger of doing something bad. Now, adults are too scared and prefer to look the other way.

What are experience blockers?

Items or ideas that stop people from experiencing essential events or activities, OR diminish them. E.g. phones

What are the 4 foundational harms?

1) sleep deprivation

2) social deprivation

3) attention fragmentation

4) addiction

What are the supposed benefits of social media for kids/teens. What does the author have to say about these?

Supposed benefits include

- fun (not suitable for long-term mental health)

- feeling more connected (why do 12-year-olds need to be connected, instead of just regular play?)

- community aspect for minority kids (also most likely to suffer harm online)

He also believes that people confuse the internet and social media. Many benefits to the internet, e.g, learning, news, art, hobbies, etc. not many for social media for kids)

How do girls and boys smartphone use differ?

Girls tend to use visual apps, such as Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest, whereas boys prefer text-based ones, like Reddit, and online gaming platforms like Fortnite. They also watch way more porn.

What are two major categories of motivation?

1) agency (desire to stand out)

2) communion (desire to form a connection)

Girls and boys have these to varying degrees, but boys tend to be more assertive, and girls tend to chase communion. - That is why boys like gaming and girls like social media.

What are the four reasons social media harms girls more than boys?

1) Girls are more affected by social/visual comparison

2) Girls aggression takes the form of reputational damage/gossip

3) Girls are more likely to share emotions - this may lead to social contagion as girls are more likely to develop society's illnesses

4) The internet has made it easy for women/girls to be preyed on

What does the author suggest is different about boys and girls of Gen Z with regard to their decline?

Boys have been declining slowly since the 1970s. Changes to the world/introduction of the virtual world have made life complicated, providing them with a world to retreat to.

Boys have been having less unsupervised play, less risk-taking, and less exploration.

What is "failure to launch"

People (more likely men) are NEET: not in education, employment, or training.

What is mean by quality vs quantity?

The virtual world has added a lot of quantity for both girls and boys, but very little quality. They constantly live in an ephemeral world with little to no strong foundations.

This leads to a sense of meaninglessness as people struggle to feel a genuine sense of purpose, competence, and community.

Describe a collective action problem

Also called a social dilemma/ moloch - a situation in which if everyone acts in their own personal interest, everyone loses. - e.g, overfishing, teens using social media, beauty filters

What are some ways to combat collective action problems?

- voluntary cooperation

- moral praise/condemnation

- tech solutions

- change laws

How can governments help change the phone situation?

- ease neglect laws and make them more specific

- Enforce stricter age verification laws by tech companies

- zone areas to make them more communal and easier for children to access

- Encourage schools to allow more free play

What can tech companies do now?

- Improve verification technology

- create devices that lack certain features

- create software that syncs with adults phones so that they can better oversee children's usage

What are the two "whales" for what schools can do?

1) phone-free schools from the moment they walk in to the moment they leave

2) more free unsupervised play - the teacher acts as a life guard, only intervenes in an emergency

What is meant by parent gardeners vs carpenters?

Most parents behave as carpenters; that is, they have a goal in mind and they measure and work towards achieving that result. Perfection and metrics become the focus.

Gardeners/ing requires providing the right environment for a child and allowing them to flourish.

What can parents do to help their kids?

- lower screen time as much as possible

- give children responsibility and allow them to challenge themselves

- understand parental control features

- role model good behaviour