Com 112 Final NCSU

Transactional Model of Communication

-Sending and receiving are usually simultaneous

-Meanings exist in and among people

-Environment and noise affect communication

-Channels make a difference

Communication competence

Competent communication:

-Effective

-Appropriate

-No single "ideal" or "effective" way to communicate

-Competence is situational

-Competence can be learned

Characteristics of competent communicators

-A large repertoire of skills

-Adaptability

-Ability to perform skillfully

-Empathy/perspective taking

-Cognitive complexity

-Self-monitoring

Empathy

an understanding of another's feelings

chronemics

the study of how humans use and structure time

cognitive complexity

the ability to understand a given situation in multiple ways

self-monitoring

awareness of one's behavior and how it affects others

Synchronous communication

communication in which people interact in real time

asynchronous communication

communication such as email in which the message and the response do not occur at the same time

permanence

messages you send via hard copy are forever

Civil tone in communication

being civil in communication even over the internet

Culture

the attitudes and behavior that are characteristic of a particular social group or organization

co-culture communication theory

a theory that the people who have more power within a society determine the dominant culture

Intercultural communication

communication that occurs in interactions between people who are culturally different

-Least intercultural: Cultural differences mean little

-Most intercultural: Differences, backgrounds, beliefs noteworthy

-Salience: Weight we attach to a particular person or phenomenon

Cultural values

a society's deeply held beliefs about right and wrong ways to live

norms

expected standards of conduct, which influence behavior

Uncertainty avoidance

the degree to which societies are willing to tolerate uncertainty and risk

-High uncertainty avoidance: need clear rules and regulations

-Low uncertainty avoidance: less threatened by the new and unexpected

Cultures and verbal communication styles

ex. western cultures tell you their first name, eastern cultures tell you their last name

open-mindedness

A mind willing to consider different opinions and ideas.

Tolerance for ambiguity

propensity to view ambiguous situations as either threatening or desirable

Communication and the self-concept

self-concept: relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself

Self-esteem

part of the self-concept that involves evaluations of self-worth

Reflected appraisal

A mirroring of the judgments of those around you

Self-fulfilling prophecy

an expectation that causes you to act in ways that make that expectation come true

Four stages:

Holding expectation (for yourself or for others)

Behaving in accordance with that expectation

The expectation coming to pass

Reinforcing the original expectation

Steps in the perception process

-Selection

-Organization

-Interpretation:

-Negotiation:

-Narratives:

Physiological influences on perception

The senses

Age

Health and fatigue

Biological cycles

Hunger

Neurobehavioral challenges

Snap judgments

made quickly and based on only a few bits of information and preconceived notions

First impressions

an initial opinion about people upon meeting them

Fundamental attribution error

tendency to attribute others' behavior to their dispositions and our own behaviors to our situations

Self-serving bias

a readiness to perceive oneself favorably

Empathy

Ability to re-create another person's perspective, to experience the world from his/her point of view

Language is symbolic

Words are arbitrary symbols that have no meaning in themselves

Language is subjective

people attach different meanings to the same message

Powerless vs. powerful language

Powerless speech: tentative, indirect, hedges, hesitations

Powerful language: direct, forceful, declarations, assertions

Politeness: saves face for both sender and receiver

Sexist language

language with a bias for or against a given gender

Ambiguous language

language having more than one possible meaning

"We" language

wordings that emphasize inclusion

"I" language

clearly identifies the speaker as the source of a message

"you" language

language that judges another person

value of nonverbal communication

it is impossible to not communicate

Relational Nonverbal communication

Wide range of ways you can greet a person- shake hands hello, hug etc.

Ambiguous Nonverbal communication

These are open to interpretation and are often confusing

Deception

A trick; an attempt to make someone believe something that is not true

managing impressions

People work to manage the impressions they present to others through impression management.

Nonverbal gestures

Can reinforce if used properly or distract if used excessively

Paralanguage

Vocalic behaviors that communicate meaning along with verbal behavior

Territoriality message

Distance at which we feel comfortable with others while communicating

physical environment

influences the quality of interaction within the physical space

Hearing vs. Listening

Listening: process of receiving and responding to others' messages

Hearing: sound waves strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain

Mindful listening

Mindful listening: giving careful and thoughtful attention and responses to the messages we receive

Mindless listening

Mindless listening: react to messages automatically and routinely without much mental investment

Analytical and critical listening

Analytical listening

Attend to full message before judging

Critical listening

Evaluate messages

Challenges of listening

Information overload

Personal concerns

Rapid thought

Noise

Poor listening habits

Pseudolistening

Stage hogging

Selective listening

Filling in gaps

Insulated listening

Defensive listening

Ambushing

Challenges to remembering and responding

Hearing: Physiological

Attending: Psychological Understanding Remembering: ability to recall information Responding: giving observable feedback

Paraphrasing

rewriting or restating another person's ideas or thoughts into your own words

Advising

communicating advice to the speaker about what he or she should think, feel, or do

Emotions

intense feelings that are directed at someone or something

nonverbal reactions

blushing, perspiring, facial expression, posture, gestures, etc.

Cultural influences and interpretation of emotions

ex. thinking eating snails is gross

Choosing the best language to express emotions

Choose the best language

Many suffer from impoverished emotional vocabularies

Share multiple feelings

Common to experience several emotions at the same time

Feeling vs. acting

just because you feel a certain way doesn't mean you must act on it

Accepting responsibility for feelings

Accept responsibility for your feelings

Use "I" language

Choosing when to express feelings

Choose the best time and place to express your emotions

Managing emotions

modulating and expressing emotions in various situations

Fallacies of helplessness, catastrophic consequences

Perfection, approval, should, overgeneralization, causation, helplessness, catastrophic expectations

Similarity in relationship formation

Similarity thesis: similar likes, economic class, educational standing, values

Similarities are validating

Enable fairly accurate predictions

We assume similar people will like us

Self-disclosure

revealing intimate aspects of oneself to others

The experimenting and intensifying stages of relationships

1) Initiating

2) Experimenting

3) Intensifying

4) integrating

5) Bonding

4) Differentiating

3) Circumscribing

2) Stagnating

1)Avoiding

0) Terminating

Relational maintenance

Five strategies:

Positivity

Openness

Assurances

Sharing tasks

Social networks

Social media can play important role

Gender differences and intimacy

women are generally more concerned with and better than men at developing and maintaining intimate relationships

Types of friendships

Short vs. long-term

Task vs. maintenance-oriented

Low vs. high disclosure

Low vs. high obligation

Infrequent vs. frequent contact

Friends with benefits, gender considerations, friendships and social media

non-romantic friends who also have a sexual relationship

Effective vs. ineffective communication in families

Manage the connection-autonomy dialectic

Apparent when children grow into adolescents

Most successful families are flexible

After children are "launched," couples have to re-negotiate their "couple-ness

Triangular theory of love

Triangular theory of love (Sternberg)

Intimacy: closeness and connectedness

Passion: physical attraction and emotional arousal

Commitment: decision to maintain relationship

Effective communication in romantic relationships

Learning love languages

Words of affirmation

Quality time

Gifts

Acts of service

Physical touch

Confirming and disconfirming messages

Confirming behaviors

Telling children they are unique and valuable as human beings

Genuinely listening to children when told something of importance

Disconfirming behaviors

Belittling children

Making statements that communicate their ideas don't count

Aggressiveness

verbal attacks that demean others' self-concept and inflict psychological pain

Defensiveness

excessive concern with guarding oneself against the threat of criticism

Controlling communication

messages that attempt to impose one's will on another, perhaps with coercion

Certainty vs. provisionalism

Knowledge

I know because I know vs I know based on experience; however...

Cultural influences

ex. thinking eating snails is gross

Listening styles

mindless listening

mindful listening

analytical listening

critical listening

Family types

nuclear, extended, single parent

Toxic Conflict: The "Four Horsemen"

Criticism: attack character

Defensiveness: deny responsibility, counterattacks

Contempt: belittles and demeans

Stonewalling: withdrawing, shutting down dialogue