NURS 280 Final Exam

What Aspects of Childhood Sexual Development Occur between Birth-Age 2?

What Aspects of Childhood Sexual Development Occur between Birth-Age 2?

• All of us are born with a sexual self (it is our human birthright)

• Have some things our bodies do naturally as mammals:

  • Spontaneous reflexive sexual response (babies get erections in utero, baby labias can fill with blood and vaginas can lubricate)

  • Human need for touch (babies need touch to grow, babies who don’t receive touch are considered to be abused)

  • Other mammals do not distinguish the genitals a a different part of the body that should be hidden, therefore initially children don’t do this either but rather learn from their caregivers

Learn:

• names for their body parts and how to care for them

  • also how other people feel about our body parts

• Rules and beliefs about gender

  • also how they feel about their own gender

  • around 2-3 years old knows what their gender identity is and has a clear understanding of gender identity

  • what “boy” clothes are etc.

Develop:

• attachment to caregivers

  • feeling safe with an adult (important because this is where we get our info from)

• Basic social skills

  • appropriate nudity etc.

What Aspects of Childhood Sexual Development Occur between Age 2 - Age 5?

• At this age, children’s social circle expands due to preschool and kindergarten, and they have more influences outside of their caregivers

• have a keen interest in their own and other people’s bodies (normal and typical)

Learn:

• How they joined their family

  • how babies are born etc.

  • Can answer their questions honestly as they are just curious about the world

• Differences between genders

  • learn more “rules” about gender expression

• Body autonomy and types of touch

Develop

• certainty about their gender identity

• understanding of public and private spheres and how it relates to their body (some things we only do in private)

What Aspects of Childhood Sexual Development Occur between Age 5 - Age 8?

• exploration of bodies is common at this age and figuring out how it feels good

  • self-pleasuring may become more intentional and less about self-soothing

• peer bonding becomes more intense and we place more importance on who we are in relation to our peers

Learn:

• how babies are made (need to know for sure at this age)

• families can be different than their own

• pre-warn them their bodies are about to change

Develop:

• an understanding of romantic relationships and attraction

What do kids learn and develop during puberty?

• Masturbation is pleasure-centred at this age but is highly influenced by family messaging

  • Association between masturbation and pleasure becomes clearer but doesn’t always make people feel good especially if they have learned shame

• Less grossed out by sex and sexuality and more curious

• Attraction to others shifts from friendship to crushes (for some, not everyone e.g asexual or aromantic folks)

Learn:

• their bodies are changing (and they’re normal)

  • most people feel they aren’t normal though

  • 3rd and final time we go through rapid development

• Their beliefs and values are their own

  • Separate from the people raising them

  • Sometimes still align with our family members or we may disagree with them and this can cause conflict on both sides

• Understanding of how and why people are sexual

  • sexual expression is better understood

• clear understanding of why people behave in certain ways

  • learn complex skills to decode the meaning behind behaviours

Develop:

• more complex skills for relationships (romantic and platonic)

  • learn from own experiences and observing others

  • skills needed to start/maintain relationships

• Sense of justice and understanding of their rights

What are some body changes that occur during puberty?

• Puberty starts in the brain

  • pituitary gland sends us into puberty

  • The brain activates the gonads are starts sending hormones

• Shouldn’t separate the classes we teach to by gender as teaching together fosters empathy! Also it’s important to be inclusive

All Body Changes:

• big feet

• body hair

• body odour and perspiration

• growth spurts

• skin changes

• voice changes

• moodiness

• crushes

Testosterone Changes:

• broader shoulders

• nocturnal emissions

  • when body starts to produce sperm it needs to get rid of the old ones

• frequent erections

Estrogen Changes:

• breast development

• menstruation

• wider hips

What are some key areas of conflict during puberty?

These aren’t problems but rather normal parts of puberty that are expected, common, normal changes

• Body Changes -> different treatment

• Fluctuating Hormones -> moodiness

• Lack of sleep -> irritability

• Increased interest in sex

• Cognitive immaturity -> poor decision making

• Poor emotion regulation

• Increased desire for independent identity and self-expression

  • Experimentation

  • Changing identities

  • Changing values

What do people learn and develop during adolescence?

• often first romantic relationship occurs at this age

• masturbation is common, but more so for people with penises

Learn:

• how to adapt to their changing bodies

• how to protect their sexual selves

Develop:

• sexual selves

  • needs, feelings, desires, etc.

• relationship skills

What are some facts about sexual debut in BC?

• 17 is the average age of sexual debut in Canada for those who reported being sexually active on the adolescent health survey (the real stat will be higher because we aren’t taking into account those who haven’t had a sexual debut yet)

  • 80% were in a romantic relationship with their partner during their sexual debut

• Many overestimate their peers’ sexual experience (90% of students surveyed thought they had had fewer sexual partners than their peers

  • Media representations may give this impression

• 80% of B.C students have not engaged in intercourse

• Poor school attachment and poor parental relationships are strongly predictive of early sexual debut

• In B.C the first year or two of post highschool or last year or two of highschool are the most common for sexual debut

Oral Sex:

• People have oral sex around they same time that they start having sex

  • 22% of students had ever had oral sex, down from 26% in 2008

• M and F report receiving oral sex similarly, but females report giving moral sex more

What are some reasons reported by BC adolescents for not having sex?

The idea that the best choice is to wait and you should wait because you can’t get it back is something we only frame around sex

→ chastity is not more virtuous than promiscuity, it is virtuous to have insight into your sexual needs and values, and engaging in consensual behaviour that is congruent with those needs and values

• Not ready, waiting to meet the right person (2 most common)

  • Acting on beliefs and values

• Dividing by gender:

  • M: waiting to meet the right person (1), not ready (2), Can’t find a partner (3), avoiding STI (4)

    • F: Not ready (1), waiting for right person (2), avoiding pregnancy (3), avoiding STI (4), more common to worry about what friends and family would things and waiting for marriage than for M

What are the efforts made to prevent pregnancy by BC youth?

• Condoms is the most common for youth

• Sadly withdrawal has gotten more common (46% in 2018 vs. 35% in 2013)

  • Birth control pills, patches, etc. is 3rd most common

What are the changes that have occurred in Sexual Health

Among youth who have ever had intercourse:

• First having sex before 15 is at 32% which has decreased

• Only 2% used no contraception the last time they had intercourse (decreased)

• 57% used a condom the last time they had intercourse (this has decreased, it used to be more)

  • Maybe has decreased because of reliable access to birth control

• 22% used drugs or alcohol the last time they had intercourse (decreased)

  • Several explanations for why they might use drugs or alcohol

    • Making decisions they wouldn’t or getting sexually assaulted

    • Shame is a barrier in exploring sexual selves

• 1% have ever been pregnant or caused a pregnancy (decreased)

• 1% have ever had an STI (decreased)

  • This is everyone

What are youth actually up to in the 21st century?

• Often labeled as part of “hookup culture” (sexual engagement with no/little commitment) however most Canadian relationships among youth are ongoing and monogamous (15% deemed “experimenters” and 85% “non-experimenters: in 2010)

• Younger teens are more likely to have more sexual partners in the first year they have sex than older teens (if you have your sexual debut at 14 you are more likely to have more partners than someone who is 17 when they have their sexual debut)

  • Age of sexual debut

  • Feeling lack of connection to others so they seek connection?

• People experience judgment differently

  • Young women who engage in casual sex are judged more harshly than young men

  • Being privileged = less judgment

  • People who are confident and unashamed feel less judgment

• 89% of males and 78% of females identified themselves as “completely straight”

  • There is increasing willingness to consider other options

What do people learn and develop during adulthood?

Learn:

• how to sustain a relationship beyond a passionate start

• how to have healthy relationships

  • still figuring it out

  • how to sustain long term relationships in a healthy way

  • Sunken time fallacy - “wasting time” if you end a long-term relationship

  • NRE -> new relationship energy

    • Tends to drop off but doesn’t mean the relationship is bad

    • Maintaining intimacy and trust is a different set of skills than maintaining a relationship with NRE

      • Skills that keep people together with love and respect

  Develop:

  • Effective and sustainable communication methods

    • Communicating with kindness and empathy

    • Listening is important!

  • Sexual health protection and maintenance

What are some dating and relationship styles?

• Serial Monogamy: Make a commitment to one other person to only be in a relationship with them

  • Theory is that we get everything we need from them

  • Breaking that bond = cheating

  • Most people especially young adults participate in serial monogamy

    • Keep monogamous with that person until they break up and then they transfer it to another person

  • This is the most common!

• Polyamory: aka ethical non-monogamy, we need more than one person to meet all our needs

  • Still interested in connection, need another person to meet needs

  • Consensual !!

  • Can be romantic, sexual, both etc.

  • People who practice polyamory are excellent communicators

• Casual Dating

  • Floating around in NRE all the time

• Hookups

  • Aren’t interested in emotional sharing

  • Mostly about sex

• Unethical non-monogamy

  • Cheating

  • Even though monogamy is the most common type of relationship, most people have been cheated on or will cheat

• There are also lots of other styles or relationships!

  • Open relationships: under the poly umbrella

  • Financial arrangements

  • Virtual relationships

  • Long-distance

  • Platonic

  • Arranged

  • Situationships

What are some solo sexual behaviours?

Sexual fantasies are common during solo and partnered activities

• While most people fantasize about someone other than their partner (98% of men, 80% of women) only some think it’s okay (53% of men, 40% of women)

• It's a normal thing that our brian does

• Justin Lehmiller has researched and written about fantasy and reports that sex with multiple partners is a common fantasy, followed by sadomasochism, fantasizing about our current partner is also common (51%)

  • Most fantasies are not acted upon, less than ⅓ had acted our their “biggest” fantasy scenario

Masturbation has been observed in hundreds of non-human species and also have partnered sex for pleasure.

• Historically, non-procreative sex has been seen as sinful by many cultures

  • Techniques to prevent masturbation have ranged from punishment to control through diet

    • Bland diet -> cornflakes, graham crackers

• 2x as many adult cis men than women reported masturbating in the last month and men report viewing porn during masturbation more than women

• ½ of adults report using a vibrator during sex play

• Masturbation is a practice!

  • Healthy for self-care

  • Something we do thoughtfully and intentionally that improves our lives

What are some partnered sexual behaviours?

• Foreplay is a problematic term, still used to describe non-penetrative sex

  • Kissing, touching, breast/nipple play, oral sex, etc.

  • Suggests that P+V sex is sex and everything esle we do is not sex and leads us towards P+V sex

• Intercourse usually refers to P+V sex

• Anal sex is often considered/described as gay male sexual activity, but many genders and couples report enjoying anal sex

\n Orgasm gap: heterosexual men, gay men, bisexual men, and lesbian women have more orgasms than straight/bi women

What are some types of sexual dysfunction?

• Low desire/nonconcordant desire is commonly reported to sex therapists

  • Dr. Lori Brotto has spent her career developing tests and interventions for women

• Pre-orgasmia is most commonly diagnosed in cis women, though men may also have trouble reaching orgasm. Erectile difficulties are more studied in cis men

• Sexual pain often stems from genital pain, such as dyspareunia (painful intercourse) vulvodynia (vulva pain) or vaginismus (pain from tight muscles around the vulva)

Treatments may involve psychotherapy, mindfulness practices, physiotherapy, touch therapy, and/or drug therapy

What are seniors up to?

• Most seniors say that sexuality remains something they value and participate in

  • Maintain sexual expression

• Sometimes they express that sex has improved

• Physical well-being is tied to sex

• There is a lack of scientific data about how seniors express their sexuality

  • Really only two big surveys/studies and they both mention the lack of a landscape of research

What we do know:

• Likelihood of being sexually active is more tired to health than to age

• There is a decline in sexual activity across the lifespan but also a decline in health

What are the benefits of sexual activity in seniorhood?

• Areas that get vasocongestion when we use them, it maintains the health of that area (keeps the capillaries working)

  • Use it or lose it

• More intimacy = more touch

  • More sexual expression = more touch

• Seniors who maintain sexual activity lead longer and healthier lives

  • Possible that having sex doesn’t cause things but the 2 are tied together

• Endorphin release

• Exercise

What are some challenges with sex as a senior?

• Doctors rarely ask if medication has affected sexual expression in seniorhood and there is lack of research for trans folks on how sexual expression changes across the lifespan

Cis Women: lower estrogen

• Sensitive bladders, libido changes, thinning tissues, changes in vaginal pH)

• Menopause (at around 50 your body stops ovulating - haven’t run out you just stop releasing them)

  • Happens gradually, defined by not menstruating in a year

• Perimenopause - body winding down, can take up to 15 years

• As estrogen drops off, they reach menopause and their body changes

• Libido doesn’t always decrease, sometimes it increases (no longer worried about unplanned pregnancies)

• If partner is a man his erections have changed and the type of sex changes and may become more pleasurable for women

• Tissue around the vulva and perineum may thin

  • This can make vigorous activity painful

  • Can remedy the thinning of tissue with more sex, regular stimulation can build tissue up (as can topical creams)

Cis Men:

• erectile changes

  • Erections aren’t as rigid or long lasting and men may feel less sexual as they age if they pour their identity into this

  • Can get drugs to help with erections (don’t increase desire, just increases blood flow)

    • Can also give bad headaches/red faces, or tinted blue vision especially if you take when you don’t struggle with erections

  • You can still feel pleasure even when a penis isn’t erect

    • Can enjoy sex in a new way

• Lower testosterone

  • Get concerned about identity but it is natural for it to lower

• Prostate issues

  • Extremely common to get enlarged and swollen (gives bladder problems)

  • Prostate cancer is very common

    • Quite treatable and very slow moving (most people don’t get it treated)

    • Regularly ejaculating is associated with better health

All genders:

• STI’s - seniors generally learned nothing about safe sex and STI’s

  • Lack skills, resources, and knowledge

• Dating again

  • Different than dating before

  • Need support for it

• Limits imposed by others

  • Family, long care facilities, etc.

What are the criteria for consent for seniors?

• People with dementia can still consent

• Non verbal patients can still have sex even if they can’t verbalize their need

  • May consent in ways we haven’t been taught

Criteria for sexual consent from the VCH authority: (must be met for a resident to consent to sexual activity):

• Basic sexual knowledge

• Ability to understand consequences and risk

• Ability to understand appropriate and inappropriate locations and times for sexual activity

• Ability to articulate choice, preferences, and resistance (doesn’t have to be verbal)

• Ability to recognize distress or resistance in a partner

How do we define sexual consent in Canada?

R. vs. Ewanchuk (1999) was a case that defined sexual consent in Canadian law

• A criminal case that was the most recent ruling in Canada when it comes to consent and sex

• Prior to this there were some rules but they weren’t exact/precise/clear

• the court stated that there was no such thing as presumed consent under Canadian law, consent does not have to be verbal, just clear and there cannot be a doubt about whether they consent or not

What is the current age of consent in Canada?

The current age of consent in Canada is 16 but it is super complicated

• Age of consent means 2 things:

  • You need to be at east 16 to be “allowed to have sex”

  • 16 year olds have the right to consent to sex

Are there exceptions to the age of consent in Canada?

People younger than 16 can still consent to sex but there are rules:

• 14-15 have the legal capacity to consent to sex with someone no older than 5 years older (by birthdate not birth year)

  • These laws aren’t meant to be punitive against the child, if they are involved with someone much older they don’t have the legal capacity to consent and it is sexual assault

  • Any adult in BC is a mandated reporter, this means if you know/suspect child abuse you have a legal requirement to report it

    • If someone draws attention a social worker will investigate the well-being of the child

• 12-13 can consent to sex with someone less than 2 years older

  • Usually they are involved with someone much older because they have been targeted/groomed

• There is no mechanism in place where someone less than 12 years old can consent to sex

• If you are 18 and older there are certain acts we can consent to that we couldn’t before (before 18 it is exploitative sex)

  • Sex work: until recently it wasn’t illegal to exchange sex for money but under 18’s don’t have the legal capacity to do this

  • Can’t consent to have sex with someone who has institutional power over us until we are 18

  • Film/Video/Pictures taken of us before 18

    • This is nuanced, it is meant to protect minors from sexual exploitation and you are allowed to do it under 18 but the law says you can’t distribute or share that image

Are there times that consent isn’t possible, regardless of age?

Unless a judge has ruled someone does not have the capacity to consent to sex, they can consent to sex

What resources are available for folks who have experienced sexualized violence?

• The job of support is to give power back to the victim

• SVPRO offers support to UBC students

  • emotional support, safety planning, hospital accompaniment etc.

• Can report to a police authority (would report where they were assaulted)

• Policing isn’t an answer - not everyone wants to and we are the ones who get to decide if we want to contact the police or press charges

  • We still get support either way

What Happens if it is reported to the police?

• Police as supposed to investigate the crime

• They will collect evidence and give the evidence to a lawyer of the crown

• The lawyer will look at the evidence and ask themselves if they can get a guilty verdict based off of that evidence

• If they pursue charges, the crown is in charge of the case and the victim is a witness

Sex work: what aspects of sex work are currently prohibited by law?

Canada v. Bedford, Lebovitch, and Scott is a case in Canada where it was ruled that the laws regarding sex work in Canada were unconstitutional and violated the rights of sex workers

• Currently:

  • It is legal to sell sex but illegal to buy sex

  • Communicating to exchange sexual services is illegal

  • Profiting as a third party from someone’s sexual services is illegal

  • Procuring (hiring or inducing) someone to provide sexual services is illegal

  • Third party advertising to provide sexual services is illegal

• Many sex workers say these laws put them in more peril because everything has to be underground

What are some of the pitfalls to learning about sex through porn-watching?

Porn is entertainment:

• It doesn’t claim to or depict sex as normal

• Porn’s rule is to be extraordinary/entertaining

• Porn is bad sex-ed!

  • Tell kids the truth, give them good sex ed, and they won’t look to porn for research (or at least they are less likely to)

• Misrepresentation of bodies

  • Misunderstanding of average size of body parts mainly comes from porn

  • The penises we see in porn are extraordinary in size and also erections last forever in porn because of medication, injections, fluffers etc

    • Suggests if an erection doesn’t last for over 30 minutes then it isn’t normal

  • Ejaculation is always depicted in an atypical way (“money shot”)

    • Usually happens on the but commonly happens in the body

  • Also misrepresentation of vulvas

    • Suggestion that vulvas should be 2D not 3D comes from porn

    • Also hear that inner labia that protrude is a sign that you’ve had a lot of sex which isn’t true

  • Breast size etc,

  • Also who is represented -> races

  • How pleasure is depicted

    • Types of porn as ways of having sex (P+V just moving arond_ actor with a vagina performs that that feels good

    • If what we learn about pleasure doesn’t come from reputable sources it skews our way of thinking and perception of normalcy

    • E.g. squirting is not common

      • It is peeing on someone in porn

      • Therefore porn doesn’t represent the typical pleasure response

• Violence

  • Porn can be quite violent

  • Choking, slapping, degradation etc. comes from porn (not simple basic sex) and has leaked into how we do sex in our day-to-day lives

• Exploitation of performers

  • One of the few profession where women make more than men, but their careers are very short

    • Generally last <6 months because of the level of exploitation that exists

• But!! There is good and thoughtful porn out there

Are there ways that viewing sexually explicit media could have benefits for some?

• 25% said it improved their sex lives

• Why do people watch porn?

  • The number one reason is for entertainment

    • Like looking at something sexy to get aroused

    • Masturbation and porn are associated 62% of the time (especially for men but also for other genders)

  • The second biggest reason is information gathering

• Benefits from Porn:

  • Exploration of sexual expression; pleasure, fantasy, identity

  • Can support healthy masturbation

  • Can facilitate connection between partners

    • Building connection, trust, exploration etc.

Is porn addiction real?

Nope:

• Not recognised by any diagnostic manuals or reputable professional associations

• Some people use pron compulsively, but we can do anything compulsively

• Compulsive behaviors can be treated

  • Not that they’re addicted rather they use porn compulsively

  • Therapists who treat porn addiction are sex negative and most would consider this malpractice

What are some key qualities for ethical porn?

• Made legally

• Respects rights of the performers

• Pays performers for their labor

• Shows both fantasy sex and real-world sex so that we can explore both

• Is diverse

• Celebrates sexuality as diverse, complex, and multi-faceted

• Made by people who made a commitment to making ethical porn

• Treats performers and consumers and consenting and thinking individuals

What are some Other Mistruths about Porn?

• Does porn ruin relationships? No

  • Recent studies show that watching porn often increased sexual desire for one’s partner and does not lower ratings of partner attractiveness

• Does porn break your penis? No

  • Rate of erectile difficulties has remained constant even if porn consumption increases

• Does porn rewire your brain?

  • No??

What is the impact of porn on people’s sex lives?

• 62% said porn had no impact on their sex lives

• 25% said it improved their sex lives

• 11% said it was a mixed impact (positive and negative)

• 2% said it only had a negative impact

  • Just because it is a small number doesn’t mean they are wrong

  • This number is oversubscribed with people who are religious/conservative

  • A conservative viewpoint can change our outlook on sex

  • If our outlook is negative on sex, watching porn will cause an negative impact

What are some of the barriers preventing people with disabilities from expressing their full sexual selves?

• Income:

  • Sensual Solutions:

    • A sex work company in Vancouver that delives sex work to people with disabilities

      • Right now it is not against the law to sell sexual services (it is against the law to pay for them though)

    • Sensual solutions is a gray area - there is a formal agreement between Vancouver police and the sex workers that they won’t arrest people participating in sex work in hope that people will reach out to them if needed

    • Self-selected group of people who have been given special training

    • Everyone one who is a sex worker in this organization has taken in SAR

    • Cost depends on the service

    • Disability payments get cut off if you get married, if you work, etc.

      • In vancouver if you have a disability you likely can’t afford sex work

• Presumption from peers, parents, educators etc. that they aren’t sexual beings

  • may assume they are asexual or lacking in interest

• Help needed for various functions may not extend to the help needed to express sexual self (eg. masturbation, dating etc.)

What are the benefits of participating in sexual activities for people with disabilities?

• All Canadians including youth with physical disabilities are entitled to sex ed in order to acquire the info and skills needed to:

  • Reduce their risk of sexual and reproductive health problems

  • Increase their ability to maintain rewarding relationships

  • Achieve overall health and well-being

• Although research suggests school-aged youth with physical disabilities are as sexual as youth without physical disabilities, peers, parents, educators and other professionals may assume they are asexual or lacking in interest

  • The presumption is that if you have a disability you don’t need this info (don’t need, can’t use etc.)

  • Presume they aren’t sexual beings

What practices reduce the risk of sexualized violence for people with disabilities? Why are the risks of assault higher for this group?

• People with disabilities have a right to sexual education and healthcare and a right to opportunities for socializing and for sexual expression

  • Family, healthcare workers, and other caregivers should receive training in understanding and supporting sexual development and behavior

  • Idea from schools, families, and parents that it would hurt them to receive info

  • When parents reach out they only ask about safety

• Unless a judge has ruled someone does not have the capacity to consent to sex, they can consent to sex

Best Practices for Teaching Sexual Health to People with Developmental Disabilities

• Empower people by giving them the correct language for their own body parts

• Be certain people understand and are aware of the concept of privacy

• Teach about types of touch

• Teach about personal boundaries and when it is okay to say no

  • Often people with disabilities are taught to do as they are told but they need to know they have the right to resist when personal boundaries are crossed

• Ensure that children understand their personal rights and their choices for healthy sexuality

• Refusal and consent skills! (how to say no and how to say yes)

• Age appropriate affection and touching

  • When we infantilize people they will continue to act in that way -> we need to socialize them

• Practical skills for taking care of their bodies

  • And for safe sex!

• Offer opportunities to observe and/or rehearse skills

Sexual Assault and Disability

• The risk of being physically or sexually assaulted for adults with developmental disabilities is likely 4-10x higher than for other adults

• Children with any kind of disability are 2x as likely to be sexually abused

• Regardless of age, race, etc. women with disabilities are sexually assaulted 2x more than non-disabled women

• Women with developmental disabilities are more likely to be revictimized by the same person and more than half never seek assistance (legal or treatment)

• Although 80% of women and 60% of men with developmental disabilities will be sexually molested by 18, only 3% of their attackers go to jail

Why are people with disabilities at a higher risk?

• They often need assistance for intimate things (personal care and hygiene)

• May find it difficult to report abuse because their disability hinders communication

• Often taught to comply which makes it harder for them to recognize abuse

• They may be targeted because of their lower cognitive functioning

• They may not be believed when they report abuse

Consider that age and disability often intersect, given that we are more likely to experience disability as we get older. Revisit the Sex & Aging lecture material with that in mind.

• Likelihood of being sexually active is more tired to health than to age

• There is a decline in sexual activity across the lifespan but also a decline in health

also, limits imposed by others are similar

• Family, long care facilities, etc.

same with consent:

• Non verbal patients can still have sex even if they can’t verbalize their need

  • May consent in ways we haven’t been taught

How do we define our gender?

How do we know our gender:

• You are the expert on your gender

• Gender is important to us and how we describe ourselves

• Bodies: our gender is assigned at birth, usually based on our external genitals

  • Just one data point we get

  • Sometimes this assignment is correct, sometimes it is not

• Socialization:

  • Begins at birth, once the baby’s gender is announced, people begin to socialize the child

    • What clothes, colors, toys etc

  • Begin this socialization even before birth sometimes when the gender is announced

  • Reinforced by ideas and expectations

  • Also reinforced by validation and punishment

    • When we break gender “rules” we get punished

      • E.g. school uniforms

  • Some gender rules are overt (boys don’t ___) while some are more subtle

    • People may not know they are laboring over these rules

• Internal sense of self:

  • Gender identity solidifies between 18-36 months (but can change/grow throughout the lifespan)

    • Sometimes will identify that the gender they were assigned is not how they feel

    • Magical thinking is common at this time so they may not be trans, but they also might be

    • May be a specific type of “boy” the things we have gendered may not be true for them, expanding their definition

    • May feel that in the future their gender will be different, may declare they are a different gender

    • Lots of different outcomes!

    • The first step in not harming children is to listen them

  • Evident or hidden

    • Might keep this info hidden because they don’t think they will be accepted

  • Can also be challenged or validated

  • Our gender expression waves and wanes throughout our lives

    • E.g. puberty

    • Play with how we express our gender throughout our lives

Now anyone in Canada can put an X next to gender assignment (on passport, driver’s license)

How do we express our gender?

List and define some current and emerging gender identities.

Gender Options:

• Girl/Woman

• Boy/Man

  • Male and Female = sex, Woman/man = gender

• Nonbinary, gender nonconforming, gender fluid

  • Nonbinary = feel neither male nor female, describes themselves or feel that gender is a spectrum and they can’t place themselves on one end of the spectrum

  • Gender nonconforming = have a gender but it doesn’t follow the “rules” of what it means to be a certain gender

  • Gender fluid = gender expression fluctuates

• Trans -> not a gender

  • Someone who’s gender expression/identity is not the same as what they were assigned at birth

    • Lots of non-binary trans people

    • Can also be trans and a woman etc. (woman is their gender identity)

• Femme/Masc

  • There are other conceptions of gender beyond broad categories

  • Femme has to do with gender expression but doesn't have to mean women

    • Queer word

    • Can be any gender and be femme

  • Masc is masculine presenation

• Two-spirit

  • Term reserved for indigenous people

  • Male and female side lives inside of you

  • English work meaning other gender

  • Can mean different things depending on community and culture

  • A term that has to do with gender but not for non-indigenous people to use/define

  • Self-defined

Transitioning:

• We have the right to express our gender in any way we wish. For some people this may mean transitioning in order to better match our gender identity with our gender expression

  • Most common: social transition (dress, name, pronouns etc.)

    • When children transition they only transition socially)

  • Gender affirming clinical care:

    • Hormones

    • Upper surgery

    • Lower surgery

    • Other feminizing or masculinizing procedures

• Use evidence based research to make sure people are healthy during the transition

• Can get puberty blockers

  • Put a pause on puberty

  • Can get all the support they need to make decisions outside of the emergency

  • Get cross hormones if they decide to transition, will go through puberty reflecting their chosen gender *outcomes are better for kids who can access this care)

Can that gender change? If so, how?

Yes! gender changes across the lifespan, we change how we express our gender, what gender we may identify as etc.

• Our gender expression waves and wanes throughout our lives

  • E.g. puberty

  • Play with how we express our gender throughout our lives

Explore the legal landscape in Canada re: gender expression and identity.

Canadian Human Rights Act:

• Revised in 2017

• Prohibited grounds for discrimination now include gender identity or expression

• The criminal code includes gender identity and expression as an identifiable group that can be targeted by hate propaganda

List and briefly define some of the terms and identities used by queer folks, currently and historically

2SLGBTQAI+:

• 2-spirit

• Lesbian (fallen out of favor as a term, more common in the 70s and 80s, a very plain way of describing something complex)

• Gay (broader definition, an umbrella term in itself, loosely means same sex attracted, less restricted by gender than lesbian)

• Bisexual

  • Bisexual folks are not high in priority

  • Has to do with prejudice from everyone (both straight and queer people)  also presumes a binary (2 types of people to be attracted to, doesn’t reflect many genders in the world)

  • Suggests a duality instead maybe - attracted to people with the same gender as them and to people with a different gender

• Pansexual:

  • Pan = all

  • Bisexual means attractions are based in part to gender identity

  • Pansezual means that gender identity has nothing to do with attraction

• Trans

  • Gender identity doesn’t make the decision for attraction, included in the alphabet because they are a community that is marginalized and people who are marginalized often seek comfort together

• Queer: daily new it it’s reclamation (used to be a slur)

  • Used to mean not-straight, doesn’t look one way, somewhere on the non-straight list of identities

  • Can be celebratory

• Asexual:

  • Can call selves, straight, queer, etc.

  • May or may not be sexually active

  • May enjoy sex but have no spontaneous desire for it

  • Some may be “sex repulsed”

  • Also doesn’t mean they are aromantic

  • Demisexual is a subcategory of asexual

    • Feel spontaneous sexual desire for others but only when they feel a deep connection with them and feel safe to feel the stirrings of attraction

• Intersex:

  • Again on the list because this community is often sexually marginalized and doesn’t have anything to do with attraction

• + means everything else lost covered including emerging identities

• Questioning

• MSM = men who have sex with men

  • Not a sexual orientation, just a behavior

  • Might identify as gay, straight, or something else

  • A research term only

Discuss current legal protections for queer folks in Canada

History in Canada:

• Prior to 1969: gay men were imprisoned for “gross indecency”

  • In 1969 the omnibus bill decriminalized gay sex for those over 21 but arrests still continued

• 1973: homosexuality was removed as a disorder from the DSM

• 1989: Canadian human rights commission says same sex parents and their children are a family

  • Could legally call yourself a parent

• 1992: lesbians and gay men could officially serve in the military

• 1995: protection for sexual orientation added under canadian human rights act

• 2005: same sex marriage was made legal

• 2017: formal apology from the prime minister for the systematic discrimination and violence faced by queer folds

• 2018: expungement of historically unjust convictions act

  • Records that were related to queer identities were expunged

Laws Governing Protection:

• Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms

  • Right to equal protection and benefit of the law without discrimination based on sex

• Canadian criminal code:

  • Hate crimes against sexual orientation are illegal and carried a heavy punishment (in criminal code)

• BC human rights code

  • Prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation

Explore some effective supports and best practices for queer youth

• Having a GSA has a measurably lower level of straight male students binge drinking one the weekends

  • Everyone benefits in and feels safer

  • Lots of savings in the healthcare system too

• having a gender neutral bathroom at school helps lgbtqia+ youth feel safer at school

• screening the out in schools lgbtq film program reduces bullying and exclusion

• displaying lgbtq friendly symbols fosters a sense of inclusion and belonging and boosts self esteem

What are some of the hallmarks of a sex positive presentation or resource?

Charlie Glickman (sex therapist and sexologist)’s Defintion:

• Sex positivity is the view that the only relevant measure of a sexual act, practice, or experience is the consent, pleasure, and well being of the people engaged in it or the people affected by it

  • This is a more powerful way of exploring sexuality because it helps us see past our own triggers and squicks, set aside our judgment, and make room for the diversity of human sexuality

Another way to define:

• A framework or lens for analysis not a prescribed set of behaviors or beliefs

• The opposite of sex negativity (belief that sex is inherently wrong)

• The presumption that sex, sexuality, and sexual expression is at its core a healthy, natural, positive force in the world and that pleasure is good

Using it in the way suggested with the presumption sex is positive leaves room for debate, discussion etc.

• Space for asexuality, abstinence and celibacy, trauma, diverse sexual preference and beliefs, addressing inequality and recognizing intersectionality

• Fosters: dialogue, health, consent, diversity of identity and expression, pleasure

How can we develop a sex positive perspective or practice in our life/work?

Connecting with others in a sex positive way:

• Use positive and non judgemental language

• Examine long-held personal values

• Model non-judgemental attitudes

• Don’t make presumptions

• Keep current